This was the post my youngest brother put on Facebook about his sermon today. Of course he got lots of comments because he is that kind of charismatic extrovert and demands attention.
I thought I’d add my input on this subject because we have this ongoing battle at home. And.. it is exhausting! While I didn’t hear my brother, Kumar’s, sermon, he said it was on Joseph and his brothers and how this actually stemmed from their father, Esau and Jacob.
What is sibling rivalry? The dictionary says it’s competition between siblings especially for the attention, affection and approval of their parents.
Over the last year this is an ongoing battle at home. I always thought my older two, being 12 months apart, would be super close and best of buds. Here’s the thing about motherhood, or perhaps parenthood in generally… there’s so much I didn’t know or even fathom as a young mom with obviously very unrealistic ideals. Why didn’t anyone tell me???
My older two think we give the other more freedom or the car more often or … only God can keep track of all the things they think are unfair. They don’t see the lectures or scoldings or reprimands the other gets because often its done in private!!! And… hello, if there is one that gets more privilege, it’s because it’s earned or hasn’t the trust hasn’t been breached.
Do they love each other? I’m going to take a guess and say YES! But … it’s not based on daily actions!!!! My brother Rajiv and I are two years apart. We had many a fight growing up. It could get ugly!!! I can’t remember the little things we fought about but I do remember that there was that line… I could do whatever to my brother. He was mine. But YOU… kid over there… don’t mess with my brothers. My brothers and I are close. Sanj and the boys are always fascinated with the daily interactions I have with them. “What do you talk about?” the boys ask. I really couldn’t tell you but we just make contact most days, whether texting or actually talking.
My boys can fight. They can be physical for fun or out of anger. They can say the most ugly thing that they know will hit below the belt! Ouch. And yet… time after time when someone outside the family messes with one of the six… They are ready to do battle!!
Sigh.
So… there is always the joke of who is loved by my mom most. We all know who it is… the three of us. She will deny it. She’s suppose to deny it. My kids don’t fight over who we love most… it isn’t love they are fighting over it’s privileges. What i wish they’d understand is that when trust is broken, privileges go with that.
I am sure that someday, the boys will all be friends, of some sort. Hope I’m alive to see that. Hope I’m alive to see them parent teenagers. That is the ultimate payback. lol