Here I Go… Again.

Posted on 2010-01-07 by Reema
It is 10:01 p.m.  I am nursing a headache.  I seem to have a sinus headache for the past few days.  Maybe I am allergic to the mess that is constantly in my house.
Sanj is at the school board meeting.  He just keeps going and going.  I love him.  He is such a sport.
Over the years we have been married, I am always and forever coming up with a new “scheme.”  I am not really trying to get rich …  I realize I was just trying to find me.
I have defined myself by being “mom” for so long… and of course that is who I am.  It was who I was … all of me.. for so many years.  I loved being mom.  Yes, I am still mom… but you know what I mean, don’t you?
I am mom to six dearly loved boys who still are my world… but they are and continue to take steps away from me for periods of time that force me to seek who I am aside from mom.
I didn’t realize how tricky that would be.  Many moms know who they are.  They are nurses, teachers or busy stay at home moms.  
For me, staying at home is no longer fun.  It means that  I am home alone (that is the biggest problem).  It means that all the mess is shouting at me.  It means laundry could possibly be kept under control.  It means groceries and meals could be more organized.  Staying at home means housework.  I have come to the conclusion that isn’t my cup of tea.  Get ME OUTTA HERE!!!
So I have been really struggling to find what I am suppose to do… who am I?

  • I thought that the real estate world would be exciting and interesting.  But as I approached that world I realized that it really isn’t conducive to what we want or need as a family.  Evening are our busiest time.  It is the time everyone needs me to be mom.  Real Estate Agent
  • I thought that maybe I would love my own store of cool stuff.  But that was very short lived… as cool as it really does seem… we really don’t need to be owner of another business.  (I  always wanted to pay a cashier!  It seems so fun!  Store Owner
  • Then there is the idea of me working in the clinic.  I get a paycheck… so I really do have to show up for work.  I have done this… it is all good.  I actually really don’t mind it… so I am continuing to do it but it isn’t my heart’s desire.  Working as everyone’s assistant at the Ear Company    ( I really am just crossing it off  because if I can find my passion and am  good at it and make money… this is will crossed off too… plus it just looks good!)
  • I had the idea of being a waitress… I have the experience and love people… but Sanj couldn’t see his trophy wife as a waitress.  Waitress
  • I wanted to be the secretary at the boys school… Rhema… how fun that would be!!! (Rena, Kate, don’t burst my bubble). Rhema’s Administrative Assistant
  • Ok.. I am tired of listing all the things… but you get the picture, don’ t you?
Just a side bar… I realize that not every one gets to do their heart’s desire as a job in the real world.  But…  I can seek it out while working… then it isn’t hurting anyone… is it?
Today while chatting with God in the shower (yes, I do!) I realized that the only thing or person holding me back was me and fear.
So I made a plan.  I went to lunch with my favorite husband and while I let him eat my yummy soup… told him I had an idea.  Here’s the thing… I actually heard him sigh and brace himself.
How I love this man.  He knows me so well.  He knows well enough to be scared. lol
I am going to work on my book.  I am going to carve out a time and place and that is going to be me at work.  I am going to work!  I am so excited.  A couple of hours a day… not allowing for interruptions… I have to be a strict boss.   I am going after my dream job.  I have given myself till June to see how it is coming.
Of course this is where Sanj’s “support” ended.  He didn’t give in to the idea of my needing a writer’s loft or apartment.  He didn’t see my desperate need for a new computer either.  I will work on those two things.  But really … I love this man for supporting me.
I am on my way to fulfilling my dream of becoming a best selling author and if it doesn’t work out… there is a cashier’s till waiting for me… I am sure!
lol


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    The Nudge…

    Posted on 2010-01-07 by Reema

    I asked the boys to clean up and divided various areas of the house… and each to deal with their room.
    I am quite pleased with the out come.  
    I was sitting in the family room folding some laundry and something  caught my eye.
    Are you kidding me?
    No wonder the room was cleaned so quickly and everything was picked up!
    My dear messy by nature Jordan shoved everything under the couch.
    A quick check into his bedroom showed me a neat room but very cramped quarters under his bed!!!
    Oh Bother!
    I did find a solution to our dirty floors.  This “new” house has tiles that are light in colour and shows all the dirty!  A good thing, yes, I suppose.  Our last house we put down this lovely grey/taupe 12×12 tile.  I loved it.   It hide the dirt well… but was easy to clean when I cleaned it. 

    I bought the Swifer Wet Jet… the boys love it because it is kind of like a toy… with a button to press to squirt out the cleaner and mopping is fun!  I love it because I don’t  have to worry about the mop bucket spilling or drowning a child (I saw this on Oprah years ago… and it obviously haunted me).
    I am forever looking for creative ways to get the boys to add more of the housecleaning on their chores.
    Of course the older ones don’t care how ‘fun’ it may be… they realized the cleaning part of it and complain… so I just say “do it.”  If you pee on the floor, seats, ceiling… lol then you can clean it.
    I wonder if God gave boys their appendage  to be an annoyance to moms?
    Maybe He was just punishing me for my sins by blessing me with 6 that lack aiming abilities!
    I do love my boys.
    I had sort of a moment the other night.  One of the reasons  I wished for a for a girl is that I feel that I will miss that relationship later in life of a daughter.  I also have seen too many ugly or stressful daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationships and not enough positive ones to fear the future, so to speak.
    I just wonder how to have a great relationship with the ladies in my boys lives.
    Then the other night I was on Facebook.  The instant chat pops up and there is Tyler’s “friend” saying hi.
    I was a bit caught off guard.  I figured maybe she wanted me to get Tyler on line or something.
    But no, she just chatted.  It was funny.  
    She asked me what I was doing…
     I replied that I was putting the 2 youngest to bed… but it wasn’t going to well…
    She then told me that she had to put her younger brother to bed the other night and how he was hyper.
    OK… we chatted for a few minutes… and I have to tell you it was weird… but cool.
    I even told her that Tyler wasn’t home but at hockey.
    She said that she knew as he wanted her to come to his game.
    I had an epiphany of sorts.  Now this isn’t Tyler’s girlfriend… as he isn’t allowed to date till he is 30.  
    But I had this moment that life is so different now a day.  There is the possibility to be friends with the ladies in my boys lives… someday.
    My mother-in-law was not looking for friendship (at least back then)… it was more about respect and treating her son well.  It was about being “daughterly” but knowing my place, so to speak.  It was all so different even culturally, I suppose.
    Maybe God was just opening my eyes a bit.  Maybe He was just showing me that life is full of potential… especially the future.  It is all good.  I need to be open to all that the future will hold.
    I always hated when people said to me, “Don’t worry, you’ll have 6 daughter-in-laws some day.” 
    I felt that they didn’t understand my desire for a daughter.  But really even I couldn’t understand it.
    But I know that relationships are a two way street.   The future (which I know is a LONG ways away) that will bring ladies into my life… will be full of beautiful possibilities…  I need to be willing and ready to embrace all that may be.
    As I ended my chat with the friend of Tyler’s, I appreciated the nudge that I felt from God.
    Open Hearted… Open Minded…
    My heart is pounding at bit…  lol

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    Restless Night… Restless Day!

    Posted on 2010-01-06 by Reema

    Right now I feel paralyzed.  I choose to stay at home to clean and get the laundry done… yet it is almost noon and I haven’t got much done.  I really want to go out for lunch with a friend and just relax.
    Last night I didn’t sleep the greatest.  That is part of my problem.  The boys stayed up for the World Junior Hockey game… Canada lost in overtime.  It took they a bit to settle down and get to bed.
    I have this fear that I am not loving my boys enough.  It is a weird feeling I get.  For example, Josh is in our bed more then he isn’t.  I will move him to his bed and by midnight he is back.  Yet the same goes for Zach.  A lot of the time, I just allow them to fall asleep in our bed and then move them both.  It is just easier to get them to sleep quicker.
    But I know that Zach feels Josh’s overpowering personality invading his space.  He needs to feel the love of being the younger one too.  His brothers aren’t as tolerant of him.   In all fairness, he is annoying to them… it is how he gets attention.
    So last night, Zach woke up and watched the last 5 minutes of hockey.  Then he asked if he could sleep in our bed.  I moved Josh into the other room so that Zach could sleep with us and Sanj wouldn’t complain about not having room.
    Of course then Josh wakes up crying at 2 a.m. and is in our room again.
    2 big bodies and 2 little bodies… didn’t make for a restful sleep.
    But then I see Zach’s face this morning with a smile… “Good morning, Mom.  I love you.”
    It really was worth it.
    OK… I know … no  one in our bed.   I know that…. But…  sigh.
    Then there is this blog.  I love writing.  But now that I am writing with more of a purpose, I feel worried about the content of the post.  What if it is dumb?  I hate worrying about what others think.  I spent too much of my life doing that.  So… I am just writing to write.  Sorry, but sometimes there isn’t exciting to write about but I have to write.  It is just like I have to eat or breath.
    I wish I had a place to go and write.  How cool would that be?   A little shack or even just a writing space.  Hum… the problem with that is that I would not get anything done… Like today!
    OK… I am off to clean for real!
    Posted in motherhood, Parenting | 1 Comment

    A Perfect Moment!

    Posted on 2010-01-05 by Reema

    Right now, this moment, life is perfect.
    It’s 10:31 p.m. and the boys are all in sync.
    They are all at the table together.
    Yes, it is a school night.
    Yes, the morning is going to be rough.
    Yes, it will be worth it.




    I wish you could hear the sounds.
    Aw…. Oh… YES!!!
    Team Canada vs Team USA


    It’ s a tie.  It’s gone to overtime.
    Nothing at this moment matters except being brothers and hockey.
    It’s a perfect moment.
    Go Team Canada! 

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    I Met a Superhero Today!

    Posted on 2010-01-05 by Reema

    Today I met a superhero!
    I was just about ready to head to the office when I decided to go into the school and help Josh into his classroom, as we were already late.  (This is why I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions).

    As I was sitting on the rug of the JK/SK room it hit me that today was my morning as classroom helper.
    (Good thing I have it in with the boss)!  So I change my mindset from seniors to little ones.
    20 Joshs!

    OH MY GOODNESS!  Let me tell you… we live in Canada… lots of snow and lots of very cold temps!
    Snow pants, boots, coats, hats, mitts, zippers times this by 20!!!

    Then there are all these little hands that are constantly up with so much to say… and this amazing person voices excitement for all the tid-bits.

    There is the bathroom breaks…. making sure the nonsense in the bathroom is kept to a minimum.
    There are tears that need to be dealt with just as mommy would (actually even better).

    There is learning that happens too!

    OK… my job that I would put up there on top of my list of people that I admire was a brain surgeon.
    McDreamy sure made that job look so easy and sexy!
    For real… I just can’t imagine ever feeling so confident with knowledge to cut open someone’s brain!!!
    I just have always thought you had to have all your ducks in a row.

    In surgery… you can play Bach or MC Hammer to calm your nerves.  You get a nurse or assistant there to wipe your brow.

    In JK you get a 10 second potty break if you remember!   To be a JK/SK teacher… you have to have calm like you wouldn’t believe!!!   You have to be so loving and yet know when to be firm.

    I could go on and on.  Again, probably because I was in there, my kid, Josh acts up.  I was so stressed by his craziness.  His teacher… she was so awesome.

    I was thinking that she could be Supernanny to JKs!!!

    Today I met a superhero!  Josh doesn’t know how lucky he has it everyday he is at school!
    We love you, Mrs Herder and Mrs. Smale.  You are a super hero to me!
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    As Good As It Gets…

    Posted on 2010-01-05 by Reema
    Life for my Josh is just plain good!  It is like he has his own fan club within his family.
    He just KNOWS he is loved.  

    Does it get any better than this?

    Of course all my boys know they are loved.  ( I am sure Sammy and Tyler question it every so often when they feel like all is against them).  But the boys know love.

    The thing is that Josh is loved and liked by all his brothers.


    When Sammy is on the outs with us, he will try and get Josh to come over to his ‘side.’

    Today in the van I must have reprimanded him.  He just looked at me and quietly said, “That’s not very nice.”  Even though I was right, I did feel kind of small.

    He was looking through a little Playmobile catalogue… (which was the death of me today).  He realized that Christmas was done and would take a long time to come around again… so he started on his birthday… which is in March.

    After I told him that he better look for something else, aside from the police station set because he already got it and didn’t take care of it… he told me… “That’s OK, I’ll ask my brothers and they’ll get it for me.”

    I am not sure how long  his movie star treatment will last… as already he does typical little brother things that do annoy them…

    But I love watching his confidence that love of his family will make everything Ok. 
    Being the youngest comes with perks!


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    It’s Uncle Kumar, Again!

    Posted on 2010-01-05 by Reema
    My brother is five years younger than me.
    Growing up, since my mom was often at work, putting food on the table, doing the job of 2 adults, I mothered my brother.
    As we grew up, we continued to be connected.  We haven’t lived together since I was17 years old and went off to univerity.  We spent some of the summers together but eventually we have lived many miles apart.
    Both of us have spouses, children and busy lives.  Yet we talk often.

    When my brother was doing Josh’s dedication at church, he made a passing comment about talking to me everyday…  Sanj looked over at me and said, “Really, every day?”

    OK, not everyday…but often.  We probably talk every other day.

    Yesterday, the phone rang.  The boys looked at it and said, “It’s Uncle Kumar, again…”
    This morning as we were rushing out of the house, the phone rings.  “Don’t answer it… and get in the car…” I yell.  (I picked up and told my brother that I’d call him on the cell, knowing he is alone with the kids…)

    “What do you guys talk about?” the boys asked.
    I told them that someday, they would likely talk to their brothers…
    They don’t get it.  They think that we should live closer.

    Here’s the thing… my brother is five years younger.  So I listen.  Usually, the conversation on my side is like this… “aha, aha, really?  No, aha… ”  I will hang up and Sanj will say, “Who was that? Kumar?”

    This morning’s conversation was about his daughter… he was telling me about something that happen at her school… he says, not to be bias or anything but she (his daughter) is the prettiest girl there.  She dresses well and is smart and of course people are drawn to her.”

    I smile… of course he can’t see that.  I agree with him.  I listen.

    Did I mention I am 5 years older?  So I know now that every  (well, most) parents feels this way about their kid.  I remember Sammy being the most handsome child I have ever seen!  I actually still think that next to his brothers, Josh is the most handsomest boy in Peterborough!  He really should go into modelling!

    I think that is the gift that God gave parents.. to see the best there is to see in their child, even when no one else can see it.  I love that my brother is so in love with his child.  It just means he is doing it right.

    Then the conversation went to this dessert he made for the kids.  He told me that he wanted to make a special dessert that the kids would associate to him… you know, Daddy’s special dessert.
    On Face book he said he  “is sad my kids didn’t like my secret dessert recipe, “pinky dinky pie.” It has always been my favorite growing up.

    My immediate response was pinkie dinkie pie?  His version of memories are always more animated  and colorful than mine.

    He then tells the story of how he made the pie… jello, whipped cream  combined and dumped into  a graham cracker crust…  his kids made the youngest eat it and said Yuck.

    These are the kind of things we talk about… our days, how his book is coming along… my dream of writing a book, who talked to our mom, the lastest thing my dad did or didn’t do, just the kind of thing you would talk to a girlfriend.

    Sometimes the person that understands me well is someone that lived with me… he gets it. He was there.   He understands the appreciation for wanting his children to have a favorite daddy dessert or meal… it’s about the relationship that he is building with his kids and it is about the relationships that we didn’t have.

    As I watch my boys chatter about mommy and Uncle Kumar talking again… I am glad that they have that model happening in front of them… that family is important.  It doesn’t matter how far apart we are… it is about the relationship. 

    It is about a special gift when siblings, family grow from all that they share… genetics… to making it grow into friendship.  Of course we get on each other’s nerves.  We are very different as we are alike.

    I hope that someday, my boys will have children that wonder why they talk to their brother so much.

    I hope that the bond of brotherhood is a gift of a lifetime for each of my boys.
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    Moments…

    Posted on 2010-01-04 by Reema

    It’s 9:27 a.m. and all is quiet.  The boys are off to school and Josh and I are on the bed snuggling.
    I forgot about how quiet it is when everyone is gone!


    It was hard getting out the door especially because it was freezing out!
    I woke and remembered to be grateful for another morning.  🙂
    Then it was breakfast and lunch and “let’s go!!!”
    We were there on time!  Hurrah… well with only a minute to spare… but nevertheless on-time!


    I was watching Sanj shave this morning.  I was siting on the bed and because the door was propped a bit I caught a little bit of his face in the mirror.  It was the angle or something that made him look just like the Sanj from our early days.


    It took my breath away.  He was there and all mine.  How lucky am I?
    It made me think of the moment we became a couple.
    That moment, I am sure, is different for each couple….
    For me, it was when Sanj kissed me.


    It is one of those moments I often go back to.
    What made him do it?
    Impulse? A tick? God?


    We were friends forever by this point.
    I had given up that he would ever notice me for more than the cute pest I was to him.
    What made him react?


    It was a moment that change our lives forever.
    It was a moment that caused panic in both of us for a bit.
    It was a moment that was so indescribable because of the craziness of it all.


    Yet here I am, 15 year later, totally glad for the  moment in time.
    Out of that moment came so much love and happiness.
    Out of that moment came the six beautiful beings that will always be a bit of each of us.
    Out of that moment came a bunch of many moments that has made a family.


    Moments… I have had many moments that were life changing.
    Moments that I have had to live with the consequences for a life time.
    Moments… I am so glad that God blessed us with that moment together that allowed for something beautiful to be made.

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    I Hate You… (but not really)…

    Posted on 2010-01-03 by Reema

    I had a conversation with friends, while out to dinner.  It has left me unsettled.
    It has to do with hate.
    The defintion of hate is “intense animosity or dislike”  according to the FreeDictionary.com.
    Do you really hate anyone?

    Did you know that we are to love everyone, as God loved us?  Of course I know this, but wasn’t really listening to the words.  LOVE EVERYONE!  Hard one!

    There are some people that I dislike intensely.  Usually it is because they have hurt me… deeply or someone I love.  

    Then  the conversation followed… you don’t have to like them… but you do have to love them.

    That has left me off balance.  Of course, as I really analyze my feelings toward them, I could fill in words like:  feel sorry for; ignorant; pity; 

    Their actions have caused me to protect my heart.

    Yet,  as I really have sought to find the answers to whether I really hate anyone… I had to remind myself that Jesus… loves them.

    Jesus LOVES them!

    Oye!  Annoying, isn’t it?  But if I expect God to love me in spite of all my errors and shortcomings, then I must reciprocate to others that fall short in my life… mustn’t I?

    I know Jesus Loves Me.  I feel it as I live and breathe.  I know He must so often shake His head and sigh… as He watches me day in and day out mess up.

    Yet, He just forgives me.  He keeps having faith in me.  He believes in ME!

    So… it has come to me through the wiseness of my friends that I love everyone.
    There will be no stringing up these annoying people and poking them with sharp objects!

    (Ok…. this is an inside voice coming out… but when I was in high school and felt so alone… I would imagine stringing certain people up… and hurting them… so they understood how much they hurt me.  Guess this has followed me into the adult world…)
    If I am loving them, then I must forgive them.  I know, I don’t  have to like them.
    But since I am going to love them… I better look for the good in them.

    Love thy neighbour as thy self.

    Oh, Fine!

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    An Attitude Adjustment

    Posted on 2010-01-03 by Reema

    It’s Sunday afternoon.  The time seems to be going too fast… before I know it, the  boys will be in bed and it will be time to begin another school week.  Boo.  I really want more time of just relaxing and hanging out.
    This is the first new year that I have not verbalized resolutions.  Maybe because for the most part, I seem to never be able to keep them.  And it seems to be a repeat of the same one ever year!  Yes, you know the one… lose weight and be healthier.
    It doesn’t mean I am not going to try… as I, course, never seem to stop wishing I was the 20 year old version of me.  But…  I am not going to obsess about resolutions.
    Growing up, when my  dad decided that Christmas was heathen… we then celebrated New Years.  It was a big deal to make those resolutions.  1)  Read my bible.  That was one I had one my list every year.  2) Attempt for straight A’s  3) Just be a better person. (This was tied into gaining the love or something of my dad).
    It shouldn’t really take a new year to strive to be a better person.  Thankfully, if we are blessed with another day, that should be motivation enough, don’t you think?
    I guess I am the kind  of person that takes life for granted.  Yet I am not promised more than this day… this moment.
    Maybe this is on my mind because I can’t stop thinking of my friend, Trevor.  They have not found him.  I guess that I must accept that he is gone.  Yet, I do still hold a tiny bit of hope that he will still be found.  I am sure that Trevor did not think that that was his last day on earth.  Things can change in a second, can’t they?
    Sanj and I went out to supper the other night with friends of ours.  My friend was at death’s door.  Doctors said she wouldn’t make it.  I remember feeling so sad, I remember wondering if she knew how much I loved her?  Did she know how she touched my life?
    (I love you, Doreen…)
    As I sat across from her, at dinner, I kept reminding myself that two Christmas’ ago, I was ready to say goodbye.  She is alive and with us.  What a blessing!
    I guess I learned over the years that a New Year is not promised.  I need to make the effort to better my self every day.
    A new day… Tomorrow, if I wake up, I really should be grateful for the gift of another day.  Usually, though, I will be grumpy, as I squint with one eye to check if my chance it is 3 am… then I give myself 5 more minutes… those famous lines that always seem to make me late!  I am not usually grateful for the day till around 10 am… when I would like my day to begin!

     So my resolution for Tomorrow is to wake up with a grateful heart.  

    (Then of course there is the resolution to be on-time… then go to the gym, then… ). 
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    Thank You!

    Posted on 2010-01-02 by Reema
    I am laying in bed with my sidekicks… Josh and Zach.  We are just relaxing.  They are watching America’s Funniest Videos and I am reading my book.  Sanj and the boys got back from hockey a bit ago.  It is one of those lazy nights where everyone is relaxing in their own way.

    Tomorrow will be busy getting ourselves back to the reality of school. 🙁

    I just wanted to say a quick Thank You to my readers…
    To my friends, mainly on Facebook, that read my posts, thank you for your comments and words of encouragements.  I love you!

    To my readers that read on my blog,
    Thank you!  It is such a compliment to me that you take time to read my thoughts.
    I am flattered.  I love your comments back (especially you, Anonymous) and just wanted to say I do appreciate you.

    To my friend, Anonymous,
    I can’t wait to “meet” you… someday!

    To say I love you all seems weird but it is a truth because of you ( my readers) I have grown and learned so much…

    Happy New Years…
    Love
    Reema
    1 Comment

    Back to Real Life!

    Posted on 2010-01-01 by Reema
    Ah… all the festivities are over… back to reality that school and work are awaiting us on Monday.
    Hockey, groceries, laundry are all there.

    It feels weird to think that we are entering 2010!  How time has flown by!  And yet as I look at this year ahead of me, I can’t help but feel that this is a year that has so much to offer.

    Maybe it is simply because last year was full of big firsts for us…

    • My first child was to graduate from Rhema (grade school).
    • My first child was to begin high school.
    • My youngest was beginning his school adventures.
    • My youngest was no longer a baby (though there are days…).
    • My first time in a very long time that I had me time.
    • My first time dipping my toes in the work world.
    This year brings many of those things again, my second child will be leaving Rhema and entering the big world of high school.  And while I am still feeling all those emotions that I did with Sammy, I know that it is all good.

    So this year, 2010 is a little bit more about me.  I wrote a blog about feeling something… I knew I was on the cusp of something… I thought it was about writing… or seeing myself as a writer… but I realized just the other day that this feeling that was so foreign to me finally has a name.

    For the first time ever… I believe in myself.  I finally believe in me!

    It took 41 years to achieve it, but I know that I can do things if I set myself to do so.

    So it still baby steps, but I am feeling this New Year is the Year that I allow myself to be the Best Me I Can Be…  with the help of God, of course.

    The Best You… maybe you are already there.  How wonderful!  If you are not, why not join me on this journey?

    I am so looking forward to what 2010 holds!
    Happy New Years!
    1 Comment

    Happy New Years!

    Posted on 2010-01-01 by Reema

    It’s 1:08 am… a New Year… that in itself is something to be grateful for!

    As I spent the evening with friends and loved ones… I realized that the greatest joy in my life these days, is not whether or not I am having fun… but really it is all about my boys.

    There is such pleasure in watching them.  They love being with friends and loved ones.  You can’t put a price on that… so beautiful… it was to watch them just have fun.

    As I count my blessings, the greatest is the honor of being mom to my boys.  I love them with all I have in me.  It is my calling… to be mom to these wonderful, pain in my heart too many times, yet precious, oh so precious bits of me.

    How glad I am that the bits of them that aren’t me are from my other wonderful and cherished blessings…
    my dearly loved husband.

    There is nothing like feeling contentment.  What a great way to start the year…
    Thank you God, for peace, for health, for blessings that overflow.
    Thank you for the other stuff… yet the gift of knowing You are there, side by side to walk through it all.
    I love you.
    Thank you for this year, Lord.

    Happy New Years to YOU!
    1 Comment

    Happy New Year’s Eve!!!

    Posted on 2009-12-31 by Reema
    It’s New Years Eve! 
    Add some snow and mild weather… ✔
    Add some yummy food…✔
    Add friends…  (yes, you are invited)… ✔
    Tonight’s gonna be a good night!

    I love a party.
    I love being with my family and friends.
    I love food!
    I love having fun.

    I love a New Year.
    It is something to be grateful for… having the gift of another year.
    It is a gift to have friends and family.
    It is a gift to have a whole new year knocking at the door… full of possibilities.

    Happy New Years Eve…
    Be Safe.
    If you have no where to celebrate,
    our house is open to you!
    Posted in Family | 3 Comments

    S..L..O..W..I..N..G DOWN…

    Posted on 2009-12-30 by Reema
    This day is one that I wish would not end too soon.  It’s been a perfect kinda day.  I awoke to Josh begging me to get up because the sun was up and that meant it was morning.  Guess he doesn’t understand that’s what the blinds are for when you want to just sleep in.

    I was sort of kicked out of the bed by three growing bodies that seem to take up all the space on our king size bed.  Sammy, Tyler and Max were all snuggled in their spots, snoring away.  I love watching them sleep.  As much as Sanj hates them in our bed, I love that they find peace and security there.

    Zach was at his last day of hockey camp, Jordan was being dropped off at a friends and Max, at the last minute wanted to come with me, knowing he’d have a better chance at breakfast then home.

    Zach had tears in his eyes as I met him.  Someone had crashed into him and he had a headache from hitting his head on the ice.  My poor little man.  He is such an amazing force of all boy.

    We had to drop of the car at the mechanics, Sanj had a cancelation and so he picked me up and took us to lunch.  Yum… I love getting to have lunch with my favorite husband!

    It was off to the bank to do a deposit and then we came home.

    Still left is groceries, getting ready for friends over tomorrow… the boys all have a friend or two over for a New Years sleep.  So it requires me to be organized for many meals… not my strong point. 🙂

    Tonight we are going out with friends for dinner.  Tyler is off to the movies with friends and Sammy is in charge!

    I am longing for a nap.  That isn’t going to happen… sigh.
    My nephew is coming for a skate and perhaps a sleepover too.

    This day ending means the rush of getting ready for New Years Eve, then welcoming the New Year and then it is back to school mode.  I guess that is my problem… the bottom line… I don’t think I am ready for the new year.  I could really use another week at least!!!

    I have a lot that I need to do in this New Year and that requires some soul work… and I am feeling  lazy, I suppose.

    Sigh.   So, I am sitting here, hoping that the afternoon will go by at a grindingly slow pace.
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    I Love My Boys!

    Posted on 2009-12-29 by Reema

    The weather outside is ridiculous!  Brrr..  It’s -19℃ but with the wind, it feels like -27℃!!!  I would prefer to just stay in my pajamas but that isn’t going to happen.

    Zach is at hockey camp and needs to be picked up in a bit.  I probably need to get groceries and get back to real life.  This break has been so needed.  The boys have been able to sleep in and just relax.


    I am not sure how we are going to get back into to going to school mode.  There is a reason I don’t home school, lol, I have no discipline so we wouldn’t even start school to after 11 am, I am sure.

    The older boys are in a hockey tournament in Whitby.  We went and watched them play yesterday afternoon.  I love watching them.  I am so amazed that those are my boys out there.  Obviously they didn’t inherit my lack of athleticism! 🙂

    Everyone is home (I started this blog in the morning), Sanj went to work, and I am listening to the most beautiful thing… A bunch of little voices singing very off key to Taylor Swift’s You Belong to Me.  The boys are on Band Hero, a game they got for Christmas… and I love watching them forget about being self-concious and singing out with all they have! 


    It makes me smile.  In between the fighting, there are these moments that remind me of it all being worth while.

    I love my boys!
    Posted in Boys | Comments Off on I Love My Boys!

    Trevor…

    Posted on 2009-12-28 by Reema
    I got a message from a friend that was from my university days…
    It said, “Have you heard about Trevor?”

    Immediately I had a sense that it was not good news.
    Trevor is a pilot for United Airlines…
    While I pondered a second that perhaps he could have gotten married, I knew it was a fear I had in regards to flying.

    Trevor was a friend of mine that was like a big brother.
    He was a pest, full of pranks and jokes and always knew how to get my goat.
    He kept an eye out.  Never said too much, but let it be know when I was not going to do something.
    He would come and say, “You are not going to that party, right?”
    I knew I wasn’t going to that party.
    Yet I knew he was there.
    Silly.
    Yet he always had an eye to make sure I stayed out of trouble.
    He loved ladies.  
    He loved flying.
    He loved making friends wherever he flew.

    Apparently he just bought a little plane.
    He and his cousin where flying to Grenada, this is where he called home.
    The engines quit… and the plane went down near the Bahamas. 
    I just read that the Coast Guards called the search off.

    I feel so sad inside.
    What a loss.
    Was he scared?
    I am glad he was with someone (as awful as that sounds).
    I hope he felt God’s arms holding him tight.

    There is a part of me that still can’t help but wonder what if he is still out there?
    Trevor, you are one of those people that was in my life for a bit… yet your footprints made a path on my heart.

    Jesus, if he is alive… please bring him home safely.
    If he is gone… may he have felt the love of those whose lives were forever impacted by his smile and gift of friendship.


    Could you please pray for a miracle?
    I know God can do this!
    Please God, hear our prayers.



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    Kindness

    Posted on 2009-12-26 by Reema
    We just got back from seeing The Blind Side… Loved it!  I left feeling so grateful that there are people in this world who can simply see a person… not their colour, pay check or status.

    I love the lady in this movie.  She was so inspiring. I loved that she just listened to her heart.


    We grew up with a lot of things against us.  But today, I am grateful to know that all those obstacles were overcome by loving people like the Touhys… who listen to God’s nudges.  We had love showered to us by lovely people that didn’t ask why my dad did….  but rather just looked at what needed to be done and did it.

    I have blogged about my home ec teacher and family who did this one Christmas and took my mom grocery shopping and bought us gifts.  (I didn’t even know we were short on food).

    There is the time, one of many acts of kindness, that my dearest friend’s dad came to rescue.
    I was driving home from university with some girls, in my little Ford Escort wagon… we were almost home to Dayton.  I was on I-75 in the midst of rush hour.  Putt Putt Putt… went my little wagon.

    This was one of my many experiences of a vehicle I was driving leaving me stuck.  But this time, it was different.  I felt a sence of relief as I knew I was just a short distance from home.  At least my dad could come and rescue me.

    I guess I walked someplace (not sure how that all occurred… no cell phones back then).  I know I called home and my dad was annoyed.  Not sure why, since he did give me this vehicle to get back and forth.

    I just know I was mortified to have to tell everyone in the car that my dad wasn’t coming.
    My girlfriend must have called her dad (it is all a blur to me) who came to the rescue.

    Not only did he come to the rescue, but went back with her brother to tow my car home.
    I always wondered if my dad was not embarrassed  to come out and chat as another dad did what he should have done.

    I never forgot this act of kindness.  It was not a little thing to come and tow my vehicle.
    He never asked me any questions… just did what needed to be done.  I love this man.
    I know he was/is full of quirks to his family but to me I see this man that I wished my dad could have been like.  He took his responsibilities seriously… he took care of his family.

    When I was in university, my brother wanted to play basketball at the school.  I think the practice must have been on the weekend.  My father said sure my brother could go but he had to find his own ride.

    We lived across town, literally on the wrong side of the tracks.  This man, just a kind man, decided that it was important for my brother to be there and drove all the way to our house, back to the school and then back to our house and then home (his house was right behind the school.)

    None of these people had to do the things they did.  Yet they did.  How much our lives were change by many acts of kindness.  

    Pay it forward.  It is what I have strived to do.  It is all I can do, aside from thanking God for looking out for us… for putting people in our path to keep us moving forward.
    So… I look for ways to touch someone’s life.  I don’t ask the questions.  You have to do it for the kids.  Sometimes, kids have no choice with the parents they have.

    Sometimes you just have to do it for someone… they may just need a break.
    Only God can be the judge.  Listen to your heart.  It’s usually a nudge.

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    Change…

    Posted on 2009-12-26 by Reema
    My Tyler… I have written about his obsessive personality before.  He loves routine and the familiar.  Change for him is often a four letter word.  

    Since he was a toddler and old enough to express his thoughts, he has been one that prefers jeans, a cotton tee-shirt and a cotton sweatshirt.  In the summer its shorts and a tee-shirt.

    When it is a day that requires a bit more dressing… such as khakis and a collar shirt… then cause great stress.  For the longest time, he had to button his shirt right up to the top. 

    Now as he has grown older, he has found ways to cope.  He will dress as asked when required, yet he takes his comfort clothes with him. As soon as we are in the car, he changes.  This isn’t an exaggeration.

    Over the month, he simply wanted clothes.  Not clothes from my usually hits, such as Old Navy, but rather from his faves such as Hollister and Abercrombie.  (Where does he get his expensive taste from?)

    While shopping, I bought him a pair of sweat pants.  The boy never wears them.  On a rare occasion, he may need a pair, he will hit my closet or Sanj’s looking for something that will accommodate.
    So I decided to buy him a pair… knowing that Jordan or Sammy would love to snatch them up if he didn’t like it.

    He also kept asking for a button down shirt with checkers… Sammy wears these all the time and apparently this is the in thing.  I kept telling Tyler, I don’t think you will wear it.

    Anyways, here he is,,, my sweet boy, breaking out of his comfort zone to stretch himself.

    It’s day two… he has sported the shirt 2 days now… the sweatpants… he loves.

    I love this kid of mine.
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    Perfection…

    Posted on 2009-12-25 by Reema

    Christmas is almost officially over.  It was probably the most perfect Christmas ever.
    Nothing spectacular happened.  No drama.  We were a family.  It was just us for the first time and while it is great to have family… it was nice to have the experience of us.  We did go to my in-laws in the afternoon and that was nice too.  But it was nice to have our time to do our things our way.

    A long time ago, I prayed for a happy family, a happy home.  Today I had perfection.
    I love my family.  I love my husband.  I love my boys.   I love all the quirks that come with each of them.
    I love that we drive each other crazy 90% of the time.  I love that there is a constant chaos much of the time.  I love it all.

    Thank You, Jesus for  answering my prayer.
    Thank You for teaching me that perfect is sometimes the imperfections that come with love.
    Thank You for teaching me contentment.
    Thank You for the love we are surrounded by family and friends.
    Thank You, Jesus, for Christmas.
    Thank You for today.
    Happy Birthday Jesus!
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