Living Loving Breathing Boys

What a crazy week! Busy. Tiring. Enjoyable moments. Shopping triumphs. Great gift ideas. Weary kids. School projects. Swimming… hockey… more hockey.. Guitar lessons… and so on. Then you add lack of sleep. My poor husband has this ridiculous cough… it seems to be an annual thing. It keeps him up all night. Hacking, phlegm, frustration, which in turn effects my sleep.

The weekend day ends with the school Christmas program… nice… yet exhausted kiddies. I need to desperately relax. I would love to dive into a book. But I finished my book I was reading… and so it takes me a little bit to get into a new one.

So here I am blogging … sounds of snoring kiddies …draining away the days fullness.
I can’t wait to just sleep… praying that the meds Sanj got WILL WORK!!! That is how bad it is… he actually went to the doctor!

All in a week. My mom comes Monday so I look forward to just having some me time!

Just thankful that the week was good and that we survived it!

Today I spent a day with a friend. It was such a great day. I find my time with her inspiring. I find myself knowing that it is time to stop giving the past any more energy and celebrate NOW.

All I am promised is this moment. This is my goal… to release the past… appreciate what it has given me… which is so much of me NOW… and be grateful for life as I know it today.

My girlfriend is such an amazing mom. I am surrounded by moms that I respect and admire. I so often leave their company hoping and praying that I am enough for my children.

I know that despite the changes in many of my friendships… good and not so nice… I have people in my life that overflow my cup with love and goodness and nurture my soul.

God,
Thank you for the gift of friendship. I am so blessed. Help me to always be the kind of friend You would be proud of. Thank you for the people that feed my soul. I ask a special blessing on them…
Thank you for the power to change and seek whatever we put our minds to.
Thank you especially for girlfriends!
What a blessing they are!

Space… I have been thinking of space… personal space, space in a friendship, space in a relationship…
How much is good? How much is telling of issues that are really there? What makes for a comfortable space?

Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Today I was thinking of a friend, realizing I haven’t talked to them in a while… an unusually long while (no it isn’t you!!!)… and realizing that I don’t miss that interaction. The thought of making that connection again felt tiresome.

Then there are friendships that have space just because of life at the moment. But you know you will reconnect in a week or a month and its always good.

Then there are the friendships that go by the wayside and I wonder what happened. Actually I usually know what happened. I will stop calling or initiating … and bam… nothing happens. Then I really wonder… what was there really? That can be hurtful.

I need easy. I need real. I need the back and forth. Space … it must be just comfortable space.

I was thinking of space that occurs when you really get to know someone… and it can be disappointing when there is that character flaw. You wonder how come you never saw it… and really how big is it? Can you accept it? How important is that person? That is really the deciding factor. Some traits can be overlooked… if love for the person is bigger than the flaw.

Some people… it is just easy. I love easy. Where have you been my whole life? I know that if I don’t talk to you for a few weeks … it is all good. We will hook up when we hook up.

Others I miss when I haven’t spoken to them in the day.

As I am real with my time and feelings with each person in my life… I find it becoming easier to just take the space I need… and be OK with it.

Where is this all coming from? Today I saw someone I had not connected in a while. And I felt guilty. I know they are wondering where I have gone. Yet… i need space right now. I feel sucked dry when with them. Yet, feel that I needed to be there for them.

So now that I am really listening to me… I wonder where this will all go? Will I just continue to be there for them… and not worry about me and what I am not getting… Maybe it is OK to have these people in your life. Just as long as you control that number.

Just my thoughts and ramblings… maybe it is my guilt.

Jordan decided that he was going to use his birthday money to buy his brothers gifts. Despite the ridiculous amounts of bickering, the younger brothers look up to the older ones with a adoration that is just barely concealed.

So we went looking for toys and stuff for his brothers. Since I was paying for the stuff upfront and Jordan was going to pay me back at home… I told him to keep a tally in his head. I learned that he doesn’t do this too well since he was well over his amount and seemingly oblivious!

We came home and wrapped up his gifts. He discovered that he had purchased one toy too many. Instead of wanting to return it, he says, “I’ll donate it to the toy drive for children who don’t have anything.” Aw… a proud moment!

Sometimes I get so frustarted with the homeworkthat is issued. Jordan’s class is doing a project on other countries… part of this assignment is to make some kind of food from that country. Having 3 children go thru this class, you think that ONE child would pick INDIA!!!

Jordan is doing the country JORDAN! He looks up the country’s popular food dish and then calls me and says “Could you make this for Monday?” Mansaf. Never had it… never hear of it. Being that cooking isn’t on my favorites of things to do… it is another “chore” that is on my list. Who is doing to school?

I realize that we are suppose to do this together… but I’d rather build a gingerbread house. (Something I have never done yet… but plan to do with the kids this year).

Here is the recipe:
Chicken Mansaf Recipe

Chicken Mansaf Notes
This recipe is the Jordanian national dish. This is an Americanized version:

Ingredients
1 whole chicken, cut into serving pieces
1 1/2 quarts plain yogurt
1 egg
1 cup almonds, freshly toasted
1/2 cup pine nuts, freshly toasted
to taste, parsley, finely chopped
to taste, salt
to taste, pepper

Chicken Mansaf Recipe

6 servings long grain white rice (like basmati)
Serves / Yields
4 – 6 servings

Preparation Instructions
Place chicken in large pot with enough salted water to barely cover it.

Cook over medium heat until almost done, about 3/4 hour.

In a separate pan, cook enough rice for 6 large servings.

In a large saucepan, stir yogurt until it is quite smooth. Add beaten egg and heat over medium heat, stirring constantly.
——
Add enough of the liquid from the cooked chicken to make a thin sauce, about the consistency of very heavy cream.

Heat until it almost comes to a boil and thickens slightly.

Add the cooked chicken pieces to the yogurt sauce and finish cooking the chicken in the sauce, at a low temperature.

On a large platter, mound the rice in the center.

Arrange the chicken pieces on the rice and pour most of the yogurt sauce over it, reserving the remaining sauce to be added, as desired, by the diners.

Garnish with the almonds, pine nuts and parsley around the edges of the mound of rice and chicken.

Serve warm accompanied by warmed pita bread.

( Mansaf is traditionally made using lamb.)

Guess what we are having for supper one night this week? Got to test it out… before serving it to a class!

One of my favorite pleasures in life is giving someone I love a gift. It may be something I bought or something I made.
I love seeing the look of surprise, then pleasure on their face.

I love a good gift! This is usually my goal for my family… a good gift that leaves then speechless! With the boys, it is getting harder. The older 3 are not so much into toys… and so I usually have to dig to discover a real want. Or sometimes it is just told to me.. flat out!

Tyler left a picture of the gift he is hoping to receive. Not likely… unless there really is a Santa! Josh sees everything… from the T.V. to pictures in the magazines to window shopping… and saying “Can I have that for Christmas?”

My favorite person to buy for (besides you) is Sanj! I love surprising him with a great gift. Each year it gets harder and harder, simply because if we really want something, we would just go get it, right?

The problem with Sanj is his response… he is like his mother… and does not show much emotion when receiving at gift. He will tear open a side of the package… and peak… looking for a clue… instead of just RIPPING OPEN the wrapping paper!
(WHO SAVES PAPER… PLEASE)! I have learned that his lack of emotion isn’t really the reflective of his lack of appreciation for his gift.

This year’ s gift is awesome. I can’t wait to give it to him! Usual, tradition is that I give him his gift by the first week of December! I just can’t wait!!! Oh I have given it to people to hold… but somehow I always end up giving it to him early!
This year… I am determined to wait… at least till Christmas Eve!

But we shall see.

It is 8:25 p.m. the majority of my boys are asleep… the oldest and youngest are trying to head to dream land. The weekend is over. We had no hockey this weekend! It was so strange… yet that “free time” was quickly filled with the assembly of the rink in the midst of snow and wind and cold weather… (what a dad!).

I was busy packing the gear needed for the remainder of the weekend. Sanj and I headed to Collingwood to a business Christmas party with friends that own a clinic there. The kids were staying at my inlaws… whom, I am sure, are relishing the quiet now.

Our time in Collingwood was nice. Drinks at a new clinic, dinner, then rock and bowl. Hum… did I mention I beat Sanj in 2/3 games??? Oh Yah! I am so NOT an athletic and I do realize that bowling is not a sport…. but… it sure did feel good!

Time away with my hubby was great, the only thing missing was not fitting a little shopping in. I love the stores there. Guess we will have to go again!

After breakfast, we headed out in blizzard like conditions, road closure and slow driving to be reunited with the munchkins.

A good weekend. Arriving at my in-laws, we were treated to a delicious meal made by my mother-in-law. I am so scared to step on that scale …

So ended a good weekend. Lots of snow at home too… here starts a new week!
Good bye weekend.

If you are invited to our house for dinner, a typical meal would be pizza that was delivered, a veggie platter maybe a salad and all this would be served on paper plates and plastic ware.

The reason behind this is because I want to enjoy having people over and not get hung up on the other stuff like cooking and cleaning. I love hanging folks over. Pizza is a meal enjoyed by most… and it is a no fuss… no non-science dinner. It is a relaxed thing. It isn’t that I don’t think YOU aren’t worth the effort… of a home cooked meal… You are just more important to me to hang with!

We had company last night. I made a meal. WOW! Even I was surprised, and then I began to think should I really used paper ware?

Well because it really is a Reema trademark… I did. Well nobody had any issues, cutting and eating the chicken and other food… except my dear hubby!

Then the issue of what do I do with the plastic cutlery? Well if I REALLY like your company, I will throw them out, so I can just relax with you. I have been know to throw them in the dishwasher, too… Save the Earth and all!!!!

One day soon, after I go out and but matching cutlery, I am going to have a real dinner party, with plates and the whole bit!

Josh: “Max, can I touch your penis?” ( he is three and fascinated with his body!)

Max: (gigling) NO!

Mom: Josh…. that is PRIVATE!

Zach: “Josh… did you know mommy has a bagina?” (no, not misspelled)!

Josh: “NO she does not have a CHINA!”
“Mommy, do you have a penis?”

I used to think that the friendships that I have from years ago were all I would have to feed me. I never thought that I would find friends that easily again.

Well I was wrong. I have an abundance of friends… all play different roles in my life. Some feed my soul. Some seem to be the other half of me. Some are just easy. Some make me laugh. Some make me rethink all I thought I was sure of. Friends. I am blessed.

I know I have written this before… but can’t help but saying ” I am so glad you are in my life.”

They say that you can’t pick your family. But you CAN pick your friends.

Today at Sanj’s clinic is an Open House. It is a time for patients to come in and say hi, chat, and munch on the snacks. It is a busy day. He has to be ON every minute of the day. I am not sure he will even find the time for lunch.

I went in for a few minutes… and couldn’t help but be proud of what a dashing man I have. He had a new outfit on that shows off his trimmer physique. I love him so much.

I also appreciate the business which is his blood, sweat and tears the last 15 years… or so. I remember when he first opened his clinic, how happy he was if he saw 15 people a week!!! I am sure he sees that many and more in a day! How faithful God has been! It has been a bumpy road… slowly turning in many ways… but through it all, God has been so faithful.

So I am grateful for a hard working husband that provides for us in every way. Really, who could keep up with my love to shop and not complain???

I am grateful for the patients… that they are touched in a special way that only Sanj can do. I am grateful to the technology that has come so far that the hearing impaired have ways to make life better and fuller.

I am grateful for the new location and facility. What a great place to go in every morning… bright, clean and busy.

So if you having hearing needs, check out The Ear Company… 705.741.1114 or if you want a coffee… today… pop in!

I just bought another childcare card at the gym. This means I have stuck to working out longer then ever before. I am exercising on levels that I would never had thought to try and feel good. Actually I feel really good. I am sweating more than I ever sweated before… ew… gross, I know, but it isn’t stinky… and it makes me feel that it has been a REAL workout!

OK… I know… I didn’t really need to go there about sweating… sorry! My jeans are feeling looser. I see the numbers going down on the scale… ever so slowly. It may go down faster if I quit eating!!!

Alas … that isn’t going to happen. I don’t want to be one of the people (myself included) that loses and gains it right back. So, I must be OK with the slow decline of the numbers.

I am proud of myself. I am proud of all the friends that surround me in the constant fight to be healthy. I wish typing burned calories.

So as I lay here, with my tummy rumbling… I feel good knowing that I am not giving in at this exact moment. At this exact moment, I have self-control.

Tomorrow… or even the next hour is another story.

I have had a very rude awakening to my pity party I have been having all by myself. Today while working out… I was slapped in the face with the reality that it is time to get over my pity party.

Pretty much it boils down to: so what if you had a sucky childhood… many have had much worse. So what if you weren’t/aren’t loved by the family you thought should love you… not everyone’s love scale equals someone else’s. Stop feeling sorry for the hurts of the past. Stop making them the hurts of today. Those that failed me… KNOW they failed me. I never really saw this … and maybe that was a BIG hold up. I wanted to let those that hurt me feel that HUGE letdown they are.

WOW. It must suck to live with the weight of the fact that you let part of you down in such huge ways. And now that person has to pick you up… roles are reversed. Is it time for pay back? Can it ever feel better? No. I am not 12 years old anymore.

SO the slap I received was pretty much suck it up. Get over it. Look at NOW. See the love … feel the love. I am surrounded by that love… I just need to stop looking at where it is not coming from.

So… I am going to have to stop punishing those that pain me to just be with. I am going to have to just be who I am.

I am reading this book.. “My Sister’s Keeper.” It reminds me of my self appointed role of my family’s keeper. I didn’t have to hang on to this role.

OK… so the party is over. Wow! What a work out session that was. I burned over 500 calories in today’s workout. Guess I was working out in all sorts of ways.

My friend said this to me… “Your time is now. Don’t focus on the future, your resentments with the past inflate your expectations for the future.” Such wise words. What a wise person. I am so thankful for the people that God has placed and continues to shower me with love. Focus on NOW.

One of the finest qualities that Sanj has as a dad is nothing is to much work when it comes to enjoying sports. So, despite the fact that he was under the weather, he put his gear on and went to play in the snow. Together the boys and Sanj built a take off ramp and jump that turned sledding into a “hope there isn’t a need for 911” adventure!

While my brother and sister-in-law didn’t have too much of an appreciation for the Canadian weather… it was just what we needed to end the weekend. It is snowing… it is just right… packing snow… to make the perfect take off ramp to hit the perfect jump…

These pictures say it all!

This weekend I had my brother’s 6 month old in the house … visiting. It all came back… diapers, feedings, bottles, the paraphernalia… oye… babyhood.

Normally, I would have pangs of missing that precious phase of life. I loved being pregnant but even more so LOVED babyhood.
How that has passed on. No more pangs.

While the woes of dealing with a teenager and many more to follow causes me fear and discombobulation… it is on to a whole new phase of life without babies.

There is a season for everything. I am so loving the season that is full of big boys to smaller ones… but as Josh is constantly reminding us… “I am not a baby! I am a BIG BOY!”

Zachary Sukumaran scored his first goal in hockey today!!!
Way to go, Zachary!!! I am so proud of you!!!
You just have such a zest for life… keep setting your goals high and you will score!!!

This weekend of being with my brother made me really ponder the relationships between siblings. I am sure it is most parents desire to see their children become friends, especially if they are close in age.

The older I grow and the more I hear, I realize that a sibling relationship that is close is not something to be taken for granted.
i always thought that growing up together simply gave way to friendship. Maybe it isn’t easy but it is always there. And when it doesn’t happen that is more an oddity.

Yet it seems many siblings are in the middle… not especially close but yet there. Some siblings are just plain hard to like. I always would think that this was just BAD… not to like your sibling… so you just keep trying. But fact is… siblings are whole persons… with bits of you in them… a shared childhood… which may be remembered totally different.

Just as you can’t force friendship… maybe some family relations are just not in your best interest for you to be the best person you can be. Sad, though. I struggle with this. I know that not all my children may be best buddies with each other. But I truly do hope that each of them connects with one and they all have a sibling that is their buddy. I hope that they can always be there for each other and love each other. I do realistically hope and pray for that they all have wonderful relationships with each other that surpass girlfriends, jobs, mistakes and wives.

My youngest brother and I have always been close… Well I will speak for myself… I have always felt close to him. I mentioned to him that we never fight. He replied “some people choice not to fight.” Guess this doesn’t mean we don’t get angry at each other… but choice to deal with that anger in other ways.

We are so different too. Yet you can see we are cut from the same cloth in many ways. The 5 year age difference is a factor in some ways too. Yet when the rubber meets the road we are there for each other.

I always felt that no matter what … family is forever. But this doesn’t mean that you have to like every one or keep a relationship with members that hurt you or inflict pain… emotional or physical. My friend hears from her sister every once in a while… and finds this relationship a very stressful one. Or someone else keep their distance from her brother because he is a gambler and alcoholic and in constant downward spiral.

Making the decision to cut out a friend or family is one that is painful, often to do, yet can be so insightful.

One of my friends said… ” I do not miss having my sibling in my life. It is easier and healthier.”

So I pray for my boys. I pray that they love each other. I hope that they learn to be friends with each other and that in life there is only one go at it. So treat people as you would love to have them treat you. Go the extra mile. Girls will come and go… but brothers need to stick together. Family is a gift… one that should you choice to treasure… will be forever.

Last night we had our Thanksgiving dinner… the de-boned turkey was yummy. The dinner lasted maybe half an hour… and then it was all done. The kids were put to bed and then the adults chilled.

Despite the fact that my family growing up was not all warm and fuzzy… it is all I knew. So often I have missed having a “family home” to go … I realized that having my brother here… is being IN family. It is a good feeling… being together. The cousins being typical kids, loving each other and fighting the next moment. My sister-in-law and my husband laughing at the corks of being a Dixit…

Family… it really does come in all sorts of mismatched ways. It doesn’t have to be a mom and dad with the white picket fence… although that would be nice… it can be simply the comfort of just BEING with another part of you that is just as crazy… or even more crazy! 🙂

Happy Thanksgiving! My kids are delighted that they can celebrate Turkey day again.
I am so happy my brother and family are here. It is nice to be able to spend time with them.

Did you know there are no fresh turkeys around till Christmas? I didn’t. So I am looking for a turkey… fresh… because there isn’t time to de-thaw one… and none is to be found! Oye… I did feel a little panicked.

Thank God for Franz’s… the local butcher. I pick one up at 1 pm… today that is deboned and stuffed!

So… I am thankful for all my American family and friends… enjoy… eat up… tomorrow is the busiest shopping day of the year!