Living Loving Breathing Boys

It is minutes to 7 am. I am wanting to just crawl back under the covers and snuggle with my sleeping children. (Sanj is at the gym). Life is too fast with school constantly beckoning. In the morning, it is nagging… hurry up… get ready! In the evening, it is again whining about the homework! Give me a break.

I give my kids a break every once in a while. A mental health day, someone called it. A day to just hang out with me and get some one on one time. (Well… usually Josh is in the mix)! Sometime they are really just more tired than sick… but I give in and let them stay home.

This drives Sanj nuts. He says I am a push over. Maybe I just remember the woes of school every day. Maybe if we played hooky a little bit more, we wouldn’t go over the edge so easily.

Maybe I just like having them all to myself. This is my time to really connect with them.

This is another area Sanj and I are different. He loves school… thus the pursuit for his doctorate. I would truly die if I had to go to school again. Just the thought of taking classes to pursue a career in real estate… has me stressed out.

Oh well… I think I am right in this matter. At the end of the day… the boys aren’t going to brag about never missing a day of school. (Yuck… who would want to do that)? But I do hope years from now they will remember the special treats of going out to lunch, hanging out and being able to just relax…

So much pressure is placed on kids today. In elementary school they are learning stuff I learned in high school… such as the periodic table. So much pressure is placed on them so young.

I find the whole thing kind of sad… that at such a young age… time seems to be a shortage.

Oh I have plenty of thoughts on this… but maybe this is all my weird way of thinking.

My sweet wonderful boy is 9 years old!!! Maxwell David is a delight of a boy. He is usually on the quiet side and likes to find a quiet corner to play with his toys. He is my child that loves books. He is a quiet scholar. He has a thoughtful heart and is always there saying, “Mommy what can I do to help you?”

He is full of silliness and laughter. He loves to dance! He comes up with the silliest moves and busts out with a dance at any given time.

When asked what his birthday wish was… he said, “Can I have a book and sleep with you?” What a sweetie!

He is a true blessing to our family and is dearly loved.

Max, I love you. You are such a precious boy. Have a very happy birthday!

Tonight we had company. Sunday afternoons are our “not spoken for” days. So we enjoyed a lovely evening with friends. I really had a good time. I so appreciate friendship and the gift that it is. The older I get, I realize that friendships just cannot be taken for-granted.

Ever stopping calling some for a couple of weeks and see what happens? This is something that happens simply because life gets busy. But when NOTHING happens… it makes me wonder… hum… was this just a one sided “friendship?”

What do I do with that? Maybe this is when I need to ask myself, Is it real or just another fluffy friend? Do they feed me? Sad… sometimes what the answer is.

So tonight was good. Real Friends… sometimes that is better for the soul than pie… but the combination…. fulfillment!

I suddenly realized that definition of a fair weather friend! Hum… how many of those DO I have?

A True Friendship is one of those that only gets better with age.

We had people over on the weekend. It made me rethink that whole “do you love your kids equally?” The one child is a rambunctious highly energized child. He is fully of questions and is high maintenance. The other is the princess of the family. She apparently can do NO wrong.

The whininess and baby behavior that comes from her is apparently cute. I was a little taken back by the obvious favoritism of the one child over the other.

I am pretty aware that my children aren’t saints. They are good kids yet have the ability to drive me and each other bonkers hourly. I also know that they are human… and come with flaws, as we all do.

I think it is a great assets to know your child’s less than perfect characteristics, thus you can help guide them in that area as needed.

Having blinders on does no one any good. You are not doing your child justice that they are perfect… because in the real world… the child will not be cute to everyone.

The mom said…” she is having trouble having friends…and I don’t know why. She is so sweet and cute. Who wouldn’t want to be her friend?” Um… reality check… many people. Each of us have such different personaliities that jive with different kinds of people.

SO I felt sorry for both children. The child that just can’t help who he is… and the child that needs to be taught that you may be a princess in YOUR family… but in the real world the your tiara is not acknowledged by others. In the real world, you are really just another contender… wanting the tiara.

Perfection is in the eye of the beholder… I think it is why God created parents… for children (if you are lucky) to have your own cheering squad. It is great that parents see the best their child can be… and nurture them along to achieve those goals we “know” they can reach.

I feel sorry for the parents that truly do have blinders on. A child that talks back with rudeness… is one day going to be a teenager with a greater attitude. If not taught now as a babe… when they are endearing princes and princesses…. they will not be ready to listen as young people with their own thoughts and opinions.

I guess I am surprised at the number of parents that do see their child for all they are. Rather, they find it easier to see their children with blinders on. Whose fault is it… when the child is poorly raised?

My coaching session is coming up in a few days, and so I have got to come to the end of the answer of what me soul needs?
Rest! That just seems so simple.

I want time for just me… to do what ever. I want to be free of baggage of the past. (That is slowly coming together). I want to forgive… truly forgive those that have disappointed me. I want to know how to fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. (Yet I am still learning what some of desires are… and suppose this will be a on-going journey).

I want to be appreciated. Cherished… not through words… but through heartfelt actions. I want reciprocation of love. My soul just needs to be cleansed and renewed.

Maybe these are easy words to read… yet… my deepest core wants to be filled emotionally, spiritually and physically.

OK I know I just talked about the gift of marriage…. but I heard the other day someone saying that one of the perks to divorce is that you get time to your self every other weekend. (When the kids go to their dad’s…)

So I have thought of this as a benefit… one way to get some much craved, all about me, time!
As I was repeating this to Sanj, my obnoxious husband pips up, “Why would I need that… I already have it!”
Hum… exactly.

This is a joke… so my friends that may be divorced… please do not take offense!

Being married almost 15 years, I have to say that I wish I had a proper definition of marriage. I would still have married my dearly loved (most of the time) hubby… but would have had a more real understanding of what the “until death do us part” really entailed.

Not having witnessed a “normal” marriage… I got a lot of my facts from the movies I watched and books I read. I knew a few (emphasis on few) couple with marriages that I thought were “happy.” Then I would find out later that they broke up.

I think that one of the key components to “happily ever after” is understand there is no perfection in marriage. ANY 2 people that live together will get on each other’s nerves. Remember your roommate’s stuff creeping over to your side? Or constantly using your shampoo? Everyone and anyone living together is bound to get on each other’s nerve.

Understanding that there is no perfection in marriage… you need to allow for room to fine tune life as it happens. I think one of the problems with marriages is that there is always an out. Divorce. Unless there is abuse… if you know in your heart you are in this for better or worse… with “an out” not an option… you are forced to work on things. You are pressed to find answers because its life… for better or worse.

I think that it is so easy to fall out of love if you let yourself. There are many times in my marriage that I had to CHOSE to love Sanj… to find a postitive that I could work on loving him again… because he just made me so mad.

SO… as I am 40 years old… into almost 15 years of marriage… I realize that we are just a normal couple. Loving and hating each other is just part of the journey we are on.

God, despite the fact that I do often question why you brought this crazy man I love so much into my life… who has the ability to drive me insane…. make me madder than most…. I know that he is Your special gift to me.

So I thank you for the gift of love, marriage, friendship. Thank you that I can have this 3 part gift all in one.
If You could tweak him just a bit…. I would appreciate it so much.

There is no perfect love period. When you decide to take a chance on love… whether your parents, friends or a spouse… You risk the chance of hurt. I didn’t have clear understanding of real love. It isn’t that kind in the books and movies. There is no real Cinderella story… we all have happy endings… they just come in different packages.

I love that line… they just come in different packages! There isn’t just one ending… where the Prince comes and carries the Princess away. What about the Princess coming along and saving the Prince?

The one thing I do know is that If I love my spouse like he is the only one I will ever have… then he will be. I know that despite issues that come up in marriages… I need to work it out. It is the only choice.

I know that when I comes down to the bottom line… I would rather spend my life with Sanj in it… despite all his quirky ways then be without him.

I am feeling the excitement of history in the making. I am pretty much 60% American at heart. I spent most of my life growing up there and so I am right into the American politics.

The funny thing is watching the boys, who are right into it. My brother was able to vote as a newly sworn American citizen. How exciting for him to be part of such an amazing time.

I have so many mixed emotions. I feel proud to see change being made. I feel sad that race and prejudice is still so much a part of our society. I love the fact that my children have seen and felt the power to reach for the stars. Max came to me and said…”Mommy, do you know that I could be mayor of Peterborough or Prime Minister of Canada?”

Reach for the Stars, My Boys!

Here is what you will hear if you if you have the unfortunate experience of sitting next to Sanj at one of the boys games:

“Off sides… He is off sides…”

“Keep your stick on the ice…”

“Pass the puck!”

“Skate… skate…”

“Too many men on the ice”

“Get up,Goalie”

SO I have learned that at games is NOT a time to want his attention or even pretend to know him.

Hockey dad 100%.

Sanj is ranting that I need to make the point that he sits where the kids can’t hear him on purpose. Ummmmmm hello… WE can hear YOU!!!

In case you didn’t know … hockey parents and grandparents that aren’t coaching are really annoying to listen to.

My husband is a very hard working conscientious man. He is a great provider and cares about his patients and that they have a successful and positive experience in hearing again. He is a hard-worker.

But he is a workaholic. Not the kind that is glue to their day job… but rather he is constantly involved in something or another. Hockey… 5 boys are in hockey… and he is coaching or helping with 3 of the teams and then is in charge of the organization of select hockey.

He is on boards… he helps with jam session for the youth, he takes guitar, judo, plays hockey himself, oh and is working on his doctorate. Did I mention that he wakes up and goes to the gym around 5 am/ 6 days a week?

He does not know the meaning of sitting still. He is always doing something. And he says I am hyper? Hum…..

I know so many people HATE the time change because the days are so short. But I have to admit I actually love the fact that today about 7 p.m. my younger ones were OUT! They were tired from hanging outside… working on the rink (which is HUGE… I am so scared)! They helped their dad rescue a little chickadee… tidied the yard… all that stuff that tucked them out.

I love the fireplace lighting up the room… just a cozy warm HOMEY feel. I even feel ready to tackle the remaining boxes and get back to decorating.

I know winter is going to be here before we know it… but even that is all good because there is no struggles at bed time! Actually it is about 8 pm and I can hear Sanj snoring in bed with Josh! 🙂

Now the thing I hate about the time change is actually making sure all the clocks ARE changed!!! I have to figure out how to change the clock in the van. Some of them are complicated! Aw… life’s little problems.

In a early blog, I mention the ongoing conversation of what Sammy should wear for his 8th grade graduation. Well I didn’t capture his debut as Hannah Montana on camera …I did get him a dashing suit!

I love the dressing up part of halloween. (Once the costumes are FINALLY put together and decided)!!! We had fun making each other laugh. Once convinced of wearing a costume… my hubby was a little to into his “role” as Sugah Daddy and Jordan was Sugah Baby!

Josh was and continues to be Dr. Jones. Zach was a smashing Batman and Max was the scary Dark Vadar. Sammy was off with friends, trick or treating as a Hannah Montana dressed up as a Jedi. Tyler was a man-eating shark. And myself… I paid tribute to the heroic man and women in Blue!

The boys had a nice time expending energy at the party they had at the church.

Sammy is standing beside me, chatting… “you are stinky…” I say.
He sniffs his armpits… “That is MAN STINK!” He says, laughing.

Where do they come up with these things?

I hate halloween. When I was a kid, we did not ever go trick or treating. Devilish… all of the devil! I can remember this one halloween a kid asked why we weren’t out… (don’t know the answer we gave) but he felt sorry for us and asked for a pillow case and went and collected candy for us too! How sweet eh?

Well I have no problem with kids getting dressed up… having fun. But I hate the pre halloween costume hunt… what can I be? And where will we find the stuff? It is easy enough when it is bat-man or superman.

Jordan is going as a 70s big hair/afro dude. Where do you find bell-bottoms and big heel shoes? He got the afro… and is going to maybe cut some of Sanj’s chest hair and paste on his chest! Ha-ha.

Josh is, of course Indiana Jones! Zach is bat-man. That leaves 3 undecided. Halloween is two nights away.

Sigh. This year 5 of them are going to the church party, so that part if a bonus. Sammy is going with his friends.

We went to Value Village… no parking spots. I can only imagine what is left of the selection. Oh well… in 4 days it will be all done. Then it will be focusing on Christmas.

I can’t wait to start decorating! 😛

In the effort to be a bit more relaxed as the kids get home, I am trying to find ways to create meals that do not cause great levels of stress. So I have decided to make an honest effort using the crock pot.

I love the idea of a one dish meal and simply adding on a salad or bread or rice.

So I am attempting to make the first meal. Chicken thighs, carrots, celery, baby potatoes, onions and garlic with some seasonings and stock. I hope it is yummy!

Another recipe I came across is chicken legs dips in a bit of oil, then dips in seasonings such rosemary, salt, pepper and chili flakes… and then tossed in with something like 23 cloves of garlic! Garlicky Chicken!

So we will see…

Then I can throw in this yummy spaghetti sauce that I found at Costco and add meatballs…with whole wheat pasta. I made the switch to the ww pasta and my kids never knew the difference.

Would love some great recipes if you are a crock pot using…

I feel organized already! I may even try ribs in the crock pot for Friday night. My kids love ribs!

Alright … enough of that. Also looking for a yummy homemade spaghetti sauce recipe… if you have one that is easy!

All this talk has made me hungry. SO I am going to bed instead! Goodnight!

Tonight we had a nice evening. We were invited out to supper and had the loveliest time. We were treated to a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings. My friend said this was a simply dinner. Ummm… I must be missing the definition to simple. She even made a cheesecake from scratch for Sammy.

When we have company… it is definitely paper plates and pizza. Now, not always… but usually. Now that we live in booneyville, there is no delivery. Maybe I will have to Delissico.

But I wonder if people really mind paper plates? Does it make them feel like they aren’t worth the trouble of dishes?

I am going to have to think about the whole dinner party thing. I really would like to have a “real” dinner party. But I also Iike to just hang out and relax after throwing out the plates.

I also need better and easy chicken dishes. So send your recipes to me.

Now I do make chili or stews for company sometimes. I have to step it up a notch!

I mentioned my cousin’s cross-dressing tendencies on a blog a while ago. What I didn’t know is that Sanj had a hidden passion for it too! OK… my dearly loved hubby has recently lost somewhere in the vicinity of 30 pounds through various means of torture (you know… diet and exercise).

So he is in the best shape he has been in since we were married… probably. So he is really into shopping for clothes… and buying sizes he hasn’t been in a very long time.

Well… apparently… Sanj was dressing and put on a pair of jeans… not realizing they were MINE! (wink… wink) So he fits into MY jeans!

Great for my ego, eh? Nothing a little chocolate can’t fix.

I hate his discipline. So annoying! Oh well, all I can do I keep at it.

Maybe I’ll fit into Josh’s jeans when I am successful!
Must say, I wish vomiting was so disgusting! Would definitely be tempting!

Ever have car problems? Even have your vehicle break down on the road or highway? I remember so clearly MANY a time when the car I was driving to university from Ohio to Michigan would do that “CAPLUNK!” Oh I hated that sinking, helpless feeling! And this was before cell phones… I was left to my own imagination to get out of my troubles.

I remember being an hour or so from school and my car quit. I was in the middle of nowhere… either way I walked, I would have to be a long way for help. So of course my only choice was to pray and beg God to help me. Then there is that moment when you see another car’s blinker go on and your heart begins to pound again. Is this a crazy or “bad” guy? So you pray even harder… “please God… keep me safe.”

This older couple stops… there is a Bible on the dash… hum… a ruse or a Christian?

So they ended up insisting on taking me to the farmer’s house behind me… who is a mechanic of sorts… saying he would help me out. I ended up hanging out with these wonderful people, as the farmer fixed my car. Then this lovely couple insisted on following me bad to school till I reached safe and sound.

Honestly, I truly believe they were angels. I never forgot their kindness… and God’s answer to my prayer.

Our vehicles are pretty dependable for the most part (of course you know my van and its issues of being a lemon).

I am so grateful that if they break down we have the means to take care of it. There is nothing like that feeling of helplessness.
I hate it.

As I see people on the roadside or hear of a vehicle breaking down, it sucks. I think of all the things we take for-granted daily. Then I think of others who would just be happy to have a bike.

Thank you God for your continued faithfulness. Whether it is a bike, money for gas or a friend to pick us up. I am grateful just for the simple fact that FORDS aren’t in my life anymore. 😛

Today was a PD day for the boys, as is tomorrow. So they each had a friend over. One of the moms comes in and chats a few minutes. “How many boys DO you have?” she asks… so I told her.

“Oh dear, I feel sorry for you. I have only 3 boys.” Then she continues… “Are you going to keep trying for a girl?”
So I laugh and said “NOPE we are done. Girls are overrated at this point for us.”

She continues…”Well my last one was a girl, after the 2 boys.” Something on the lines of ‘thank God she is such a breathe of fresh air.’

Yet it was said with an attitude.

OK… that kind of pissed me off. First of all NONE of us are in control of what gender of child we are blessed with.
And what parent says that they feel sorry for you? Just send me a sympathy card and save your jibber jabber for someone who wants to hear it.

Tiresome. What do my sons think when they hear that %$#@?

Lady, you tell my how angelic your daughter is in a few years. We will then compare notes. Not to mention that I feel sorry for YOUR sons … that you view them as a burden. HUM…

Yes, I am offend. Get over it people… you are not the one that has the 6 (great, most of the time) BOYS! We are unique and we ARE capable. So quit with your sympathies. If I want it … I’ll ask for it.

Obviously my friend… you know the crap I hear… this was just one time too many.