A great read! I really enjoyed this book… really felt the character’s emotions. It was also an eye opener of what life can be like in other places. So many traditions and customs are so deeply rooted that despite laws that try to protect women … some things are so deeply entrenched.
Again definitely worth a read!
While I was at the gym working out, I was chatting with a friend of mine. She is on the fence about God… does He exist? Evolution is more scientific a theory, apparently. So we were talking about an assignment that the boys were doing in school. It was based on the story of Cain and Abel.
It was about the part where God asked each of the boys to offer a sacrifice. Now in class this was the only part of the story talked about… not the beginning or later part. So she says, “Why wouldn’t Cain get upset with God? He offered God his gift. He was a man of the fields. WHERE WAS HE SUPPOSE TO GET A LAMB? From his brother?”
Oye! If you just look at that piece of the story it is hard to explain. So I was trying to explain that it was more a token of obedience. And that the lamb was symbolic of Christ death… etc. Yet when you take the story as is.. as she did… she explained it to her son as such… of course Cain would be hurt if a parent rejected their child’s gift wouldn’t that child be upset… and want to hurt his brother?
So then… I was trying to answer her question of where was Cain suppose to get the Lamb??? So I thought (genius that I am) about how God provided the lamb in the thicket bush for Abraham and Isaac… so I proceeded….
God asked Abraham (who had waited forever to have a child) to show his obedience to God by offering his son as a sacrifice……
Oops… I see the look on her face.. and I realize that I blew it! Her face immediately said “what kinda crazy God would ask him to kill his son……
So as I back tracked to say it all worked out because Abraham passed God’s test of obedience and God then provided a lamb….
So I ended… with the simple answer of “I don’t know where Cain was suppose to get a lamb.” I don’t know!
So I am not a great person to come to with biblical questions. I just believe. I have faith. I love God. At the end of the day… if there is really no God… I know that life was lived better with the hope and faith for a Higher Power. I live with the hope of heaven and happily ever after.
Yet if there is a simply answer of where Cain was suppose to get a lamb, I would love to know!
My son Max is laying here beside me whining about “how come there are no pictures of me on your blog?” So let me tell you about my 4th son… soon to be 9 years old!
He was born on Remembrance Day. I remember having strong contractions… and knowing that I was ready to have this child. I called Sanj at work to tell him to come home NOW. He says, “hang on … its time for the 2 minutes of silence!” Grrrrr… so not funny!
Maxwell has always been my quiet (most of the time) child that enjoys solitude. He can be found playing with his toys in a quiet corner somewhere. He has a great giggle and wonderful personality. He is a lady’s man. He will no doubt have many girlfriends at his beck and call.
He is a wonderful child whose only daily wish is to simple with us in our bed.
You are a very loved boy, my Maxawaxie!!!
Oh dear… this blog had to be edited… as three of the pictures of my sweet Max were actually of Zach! Poor child! Hope he doesn’t grow up with a complex!
OK… First their was the discovery of the one chin hair… that was very distrubing! It made me mad! Why can’t hair just grow where needed? And why can’t it fall out where it isn’t needed?
Then I found ANOTHER hair! This time on my jaw bone area. Oh dear is a full beard in the works?
Then my doctor was talking about something totally unrelated… sex drives of men and women… and how she was going to ask God why He made us SO different. Men are “ready” all the time… women… as they menophase …become much more “interested” because their testostrone levels increase at this time…. THUS the hair chins appear!
PHEW! Ok it is normal… nevertheless very stressful. I just got a wax this week and had the two intruders pulled out.
But then I wonder… why there are women who chose not to remove their “beard?” They have their chinny hairs sticking out and for someone like me… I can’t help but focus on that feature when engaged in a conversation. I get totally distacted wanting to ask why and give them my hairdresser’s name.
Yet then again, maybe they really don’t care. So really then should I?
Hum… yes…because I have 6 males that are ready to let me know when my mustache is growing back. Josh “bought” me a pink razor so I could shave!
God knows the number of losing hairs on my head… I wonder if He knows the number of chin hairs I will have to pull out?
I am not equipped to deal with a teenager. How come God did not write a guide on raising a highly emotional teen with no sense of understanding?
Sammy has been invited to a party. For many reason, my spidy sense is going off and despite the fact that I know he does not understand… I have to say no.
He is so mad. He has said horrible things… including “I hate you.” Yet he doesn’t understand that I hate saying no. He is so much a follower that he doesn’t understand he needs to learn (very quickly) to be stronger in his own choices. He simply says “you don’t like me friends.” Yet he doesn’t understand that some of the people he thinks are “friends” are too worldly and knowledgeable in ways that he has no clue.
These aren’t his usual friends from school that concern me. It is the ones that are too forward or too into things that they shouldn’t be into. Oye!
His whole class is apparently going. Well I don’t know if EVERYONE is really going but he is so upset that he is not going. He has never reacted to a “no” this way. Which makes me think that I am even more right in saying no.
Does it have to do with a girl? Maybe. Maybe that makes it suck because she does not go to our school. How in the world are we going to be ready for high school and all the stuff that comes with?
When I was in high school I never really got invited anywhere. And the few times I was… the answer was “if you have a ride.” Hello… we lived in booneyville… so that was an obvious answer. And the few times I did, then the answer was “only if your brother goes too.” OK give me a break… my younger pain in the butt brother to tag along? Yah right.
So I get the wanting to go. I get the disappointment and really not understanding. But I love him so much. I wish he was made of stronger core stuff. But he hasn’t reach that level of growth yet. He is a follower. I was a follower. But I never was exposed to very much.
It isn’t a matter of trust as much a matter of knowing he isn’t ready to make some of the choices. And I don’t want those choices made for him by another child.
How come he focuses on ONE NO yet forgets all the yes’s. All the rides, all the friends over, all the things bought for no reason except that he wanted it. How come he forgets about all the times he has said NO to simple requests like “Can you go get me a glass of water?”
Yes and No … such powerful words. Wanting … such a powerful emotion.
So I am praying. It is the only thing I know right now. I am praying that God will be in control of his life… that he WILL turn to God in his pain. That he will trust in our love for him and that he will know … in his core that we would never hurt him. We have to make decisions that suck as parents.
So I am sad. I feel that my whole life has been about wanting to be a mom. Then being blessed with the amazing privilage of being a mom. And then feeling like I am failing, feeling that I am not equipped to deal with all the stuff that comes with the parenthood package. And there is NO return policy or exchange privilage.
Yes the picture is accurate! SNOW… yesterday!!! YIKES! And we got much more than the picture shows… (my camara battery died). New discovery… we live in a snow belt. Just 2 minutes away… no snow was on the ground!!!
Josh and Zachary enjoyed shoveling… Sammy, Tyler, Jordan, Max let loose with the snow balls inside and out!!!
I am not the mom that whips out paint and play dough at any given time. I hate the mess that comes with it! HATE!!!
I did it with my older ones…. and Sammy who was quite a handful (change that to still is) probably traumatized me with paint everywhere!
Oh I know it is washable… but I have to wash it!!! So that is what JK/SK is for … I decided.
Well with child number six, who is a bit obsessive… I know he isn’t even going to try finger paint… that would be too messy for him to attempt! But a brush….
So I put away my misgivings and I guess the pictures say it all!
In our house there are somethings that seem to be just part of being a Sukumaran male. Missing the toilet is one that they have in common too often! Complaining about haircuts is another. Being busy and handsome is another. 🙂 Then there is hockey! They can’t wait to play hockey!!!
So FINALLY Zachary has joined the ranks! He had his first game and almost goal! Oh Yah!
He is so exited and delighted!
My boys are blessed with a dad that is into it a 100% too. He coaches, organizes and drives … It is all about hockey right now!
My son, Sammy is on the phone chatting about females with his buddy. OK I am not ready for this. He covers the phone and waits till I am OUT of the room! Usually he ackward while talking on the phone. Ummmm that has seemed to disappeared.
What do they talk about? He denies liking anyone himself, though I am not really falling for that. It annoys me that he is so tight lipped. I was never like that at home. I think he is like Sanj in this. He never told his parents much.
There is a fine line between being a cool parent and parenting. It is frustarting to make a decision knowing that it is going to frustrate them. Example… Sammy is invited to this party. If it was anywhere else I would be fine with it. But this place has too much room to do whatever and parental supervison seems to be in small quanities.
I don’t really care about the cool parent thing because in reality I know I am an awesome mom. They are just so clueless due to the inexperence of dealing with uncoolness.
Is any of this making sense? Probably not…except that I just am very aware of my babies growing up every fast…. and wanting the to understand that I DO care and get it and really want what is best for them. It just sucks that they have these opinons of what is good for them too.
Help me… breathe… lamaze… does that work still?
I have worried about my son, Jordan, for many years. For the most part the word quirky describes him. The characteristics of a true middle child. He was a child I had trouble relating too.
He is 10 and a half and growing up. And thankfully he is growing into a wonderful child… yet totally his own person. He is alot like Sanj, though Sanj may not see it. They even look alike.
What used to frustrated me most was his lack of interest in anything. He is bright and things come easy to him. But he did not put effort into things… school or extracurricular activities.
Finally he showed an interest in the guitar. This is a popular instrument with kids right now… and cool. Probably thanks to games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band.
So … this summer we let him take guitar lessons. YES!!! He has come alive. He walks around strumming the guitar constantly.
He is even practicing a song to play on Remembrance Day at school with a group of kids!!!
I am so proud of him. He is coming into his own self. He is taking more of an interest in putting his better effort in hockey and even school.
He used to avoid contact… but today he actually came and gave me a REAL hug and said “I love you.” So cool and so special.
It is easy to love the child that is like you or just easier. It is a huge gift to love a child that is out of the box!!! It isn’t a bad thing to be out of the box. I would say I am out of the box. Why be ordinary?
So to my child that is smack in the middle of our family… you are so special and unique. Never apologies for your uniqueness but rather embrace them and be proud of them.
But if you could be a little more cooperative at times… and be in the box once in a while… that would be cool too!
I love you, Jordan!
I need to be at home. I don’t understand the stay at home moms that really do that … they stay put and do laundry, cleaning and cooking every day!!! I am too hyper. There is too much stuff to do outside the house.
Yet the pile of laundry adds up, the little piles of “I’ll get to it in a bit” add up and the boxes are still here and there.
I figure that I need to have a party. Maybe a fall party. A party never-the-less… so I will work towards a deadline.
This weekend I am going to hang stuff up, that will rid myself of some of the boxes. I will also get caught up with laundry. Yuk.
Zachary has his first hockey game too!!! He is so excited. Sanj is coaching his team. So… 5 in hockey! Breathe.
Well they do sleep very good at night. Do you know that my older ones still go to bed by 8-8:30 pm and are sound a sleep?
So they are busy. All good. Maybe one of them will make it to the NHL… then all I would ask is for a full time housekeeper and cook/laundry person!
Imagine all the good I could do outside the house?
I am torn between really wanting to be a good” house”wife and the other part of my that loves being in community.
Oh well… I did tackle a couple of loads of laundry. But I am off today… to the zoo with Josh and then to the school where Jordan’s class is having a pioneer day…
Can you tell that my sons are familiar with the Audiology profession?
My coaching session was about dealing with a old haunt. Having lunch with a friend today made me realize that I trust God with some things. My children… a huge one. I can’t do anything more than I do to keep them safe physically, emotionally, spiritually…so I have to leave it all to Him
But other things… the haunts… the things that occupy unpleasant space in my head… that cause discombobulation in my inner space… these are things that I have not full trusted God to resolve.
I never realized that I was so pathetic. I want to trust Him. But that means letting go 100%. I am a bit of a control freak maybe. Or maybe I don’t like how I think God will deal with it. Maybe I want blood… or want them to hurt or pay a price. I have so much anger. But really who cares?
Nobody even really knows except my inner being. SO what is the point? I am seeking peace. I am searching out and targeting the things in my life that are robbing me of peace. (Cluster flies don’t count)!
So my homework this week was “What does my soul want?” At lunch today I was given the answer. REST! My soul wants rest.
That sounds so good, doesn’t it? I have been making huge progress in the past bit. The peace I feel in regards to my father is huge and still there. Maybe I don’t believe it is for real. But I am at rest with the fact that he is broken. Only God can fix him. Until then I have to take what I get from him… with no expectations.
So how do I get to the point where my soul is at rest? One of the things is relinquishing total control. Maybe I am not sure how to REALLY do that? I can say…”God, I give it all to You.” I want to mean it… but how to I really do it?
Forgiveness… that is another step that I need to fully tackle. Real forgiveness for the ones I trusted most who betrayed that trust. I have a hard time with this… because I am not sure I like God’s way of punishment. They really hurt me… I want to see them pay somehow… yet …. AW
This is why I am in coaching. I need a tutor to help me figure out the hard stuff. I pray before each session that God will use my coach … and talk to me thru her.
What does my soul want? I hated homework assignments!
The weather has be gorgeous!!! This afternoon we hung out doing our own thing. Then the boys went to tackle the fort in the woods. Demolition … step 1! Sanj attacked the wood pile. And then a really unhealthy dinner of hotdogs and chicken bacon cooked over the fire. It was perfect.
God, thank you for Thanksgiving. A moment to simply pause and say thanks for all we are blessed with.
A 15 pound turkey…
A veggie turkey dish…
stuffing….
poatoes….
cranberries….
squash…
brocolli
pies… whipped cream….
8 straving kids
6 adults…
lots of noise and food….
And the traditional “what are we each thankful for” followed by whining and “can’t we just eat?”
It is Canadian Thanksgiving! We had a full day of being thankful for all that is in our lives. Family, friends, food, fun and love.
The boys are tuckered out from a wonderful day outside thanks to the gorgous day we have had!!!!
Thanks for the picture, Jordan!
It is a beautiful day!!! Sunny, low 20s with great fall colors all around us. I even hung out laundry on the line… just for an experiment to see if I could get into it. Now I have to bring it in. The cluster flies are reproducing thanks to the warm weather.
It is hard to believe in a few weeks that we will likely need the winter gear. I am getting ready to prep the turkey. Since I only make it once year… I need to read up and mentally review the basics. 🙂 Stuffing… squash, gravy (which I still am perfecting), a veggie dish ( my sister in law is a vegetarian) and potatoes and cranberries. Did I miss anything? Oh yah pumpkin and pecan pie. Yum. (Even diabetics get a break this weekend).
I will repeat this in a month for American Thanksgiving when my brother and family come for a visit. 🙂
This is the picture out my bedroom window.
Oh and there is still the skunk… (yes Doreen I did call Mr. V and am waiting for his call back)!
Everybody has an opinion on whether this critter should live and be relocated (the “how to” is up for debate) or should he be killed.
I am realizing that country/ farming type seem to be the ones with blood on their minds. We have had an offer of a friend bring his shotgun… and BAM!
I, personally, do an not fond of God’s creature anywhere near me…. don’t want to see the thing dead. He is actually kinda cute.
Tyler is appalled at the thought of killing him.
So hopefully Mr. V will call back and will professionally and kindly rid us of our little friend.
Well… I am waiting for the pizza (that Sanj had to go pick up…) to feed the tribe and then we will end the evening watching the Leafs win… dare I hope! The root-beer floats will dull the pain a bit, I am sure!
It is not even 7 a.m. The boys are UP and wide awake. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT??? On a school day I can’t budge them. Yet on the weekend, when the sun is barely up, they are up.
Give me a break!
I am sure that most people would say Sanj is a fine dresser. He takes pride in his appearance, especially when going out. He keeps up with now verses getting stuck in the then.
Yesterday at supper, I mentioned to Sammy that we should began to look for a graduation outfit for him. He is so hard to fit that it may take a bit of time.
So Sammy’s face lights up.. “I want a white tuxedo.” The boys think that Don Cherry’s (from Hockey Night In Canada) wardrobe is cool. But in a “haha wouldn’t be cool to have a suit like that…” (NOT!)
So then Sanj became to get excited… “Sammy, we could get you a cool tux… black with ….” Well Sammy is not impressed and tunes Sanj off.
“Mom, he is doing it again.” I am not sure what that exactly meant but Sammy seems to think that Sanj’s ideas are old fashion just because are coming out of his “old man’s” mouth.
I remember the three piece suits my brothers and dad wore to church. Some sort of polyester blend? Oh Yah!
The battle of the generations continues or shall I say begans. At least with boys there isn’t that wide range of clothing choices. We have already established that if I ever see them walking around with pants too big hanging to their knees… I will have no qualms of going up to them and pulling them right down! Undies and all! Don’t even tempt me!
So Sammy is undecided. White tux… probably not. Simply for no other reason then Sammy will probably roll down a hill on his way into the church or tackle someone… and then the grass stains would not be a cool accessory. 🙂
I just think that some things in life are constant. If you ever become too sure of yourself… have a teenager. You are not cool or just don’t know anything… at least anything that may be relatively cool. Ah the battle of the ages…
Do I sound like I am in the dumps? I am sick of myself. Lately I feel like I am sinking into depression. Why? Maybe my happy pill isn’t working! LOL. Maybe it is the change of seasons… Seasonal Mood Disorder. Maybe I need a vacation. Oh there are a lot of maybes.
I guess to some degree I am feeling lost. The change at Rhema has impacted me significantly. Change is change and I never have been one to react to change. But there is such a difference that I feel a loss of what or where I am in all this.
I am really eager to start my real estate classes. I plan on doing this once the holidays are over. I am scared of being a student again, as this was never one of my strengths in life. But I really think that this is my calling. I am eager to get back in to the work force and be successful as a career person.
I will miss being at home but hope that this career will allow me the flexibility to do both.
What has me in the dumps? I hate feeling sad or emotions that are not on the lines of content. I think my biggest sadness is not having parents with a home. I think that this Thanksgiving is one that I needed to be nurtured. I am not sure if that is even the right word. I just want to be taken care of.
Here…Go relax… Let me do it. I get tired of being that person. I also think that the reality of having parents that need to be taken care of is weighing heavily. Of course this has been the case for years. My inlaws have lived with Sanj’s brother for years.
My own mother is aging with each visit. Often I feel the burden of responsibility for her. (As does my brother).
I see seniors with a different light. How odd to know that these people had full vibrant lives. Now there are some so lonely, they look for a reason to visit Sanj’s office with a make believe excuse. How sad is that?
Of course I know there is the other end of those seniors that have fulfilling lives till the end.
So what is the point of this blog? No point. I suppose I am just being real with my thoughts at the moment.
Forgive me if it is a downer today. Maybe truth be told… I need to keep my butt at home and tackle the boxes and piles that need to be attended to. Maybe once I get order at home… I will have order in my being.
I was reading my brother’s response to my previous blog… His comment about about “Why can’t Christians act more like him
(meaning my cousin). He is such a kind, humble, and loving person. I would be afraid that if Ujjal started attending church again, he would turn into a mean, two-faced person, like me.”
Now of course my brother is not a mean 2-faced person… he is just real. But his profession… a minister puts him in the position of being on a pedestal. This is not a place ministers ask to be put on so when they do fall, as all will at some point, they are a disappointment.
We expect them to be “god” here on earth, to have answers to problems or be there at any given moment. It is amazing to me the powers we bestow on them. Who do they turn to? Church isn’t free therapy. Well, to some it is and here in lies problems.
I have been really struggling with church… the need for it. I do not get fed there. Not a specific church… but rather church in general. I have issues. I have hurts. I feel that I can have a better wholesome relationship with God directly. I have a hard time listening to a speaker tell me what I may already know as a “lifer” in christianity. Yet I find myself not really able to appreciate the person speaking. I am wondering is he real? I just want real. Is that asking to much? I can appreciate the speaking if he is talking from his heart… from a place of truth. Yet I hate that this doesn’t happen too often.
I do get fed through the music and fellowship. But find that fellowship… seems to be lacking nowadays too. Maybe my expectations are all wrong. Maybe I am going for all the wrong reasons. Maybe the problem is just me.
I used to miss church when we didn’t go. Now I am so relieved to just be with my family. Of course I am not saying that church is bad… I appreciate what it has to offer as a whole. I wish I could get back to that place of feeling fed. Or feeding someone else. Maybe that is what is missing.
I want church to be a place of worship where my soul is filled. Where heaven came down and GLORY filled my soul. Does that happen anymore?
Maybe I am just ready and longing for that better place. I hope that I do not offend anyone with my thoughts. These are just my thoughts at the moment. Tomorrow they could be 100% different. I encourage your feed back…. if you have thoughts you want to share … email me or blog a response.