A Hurt Nose and A Hurt Finger…

Posted on 2010-04-19 by Reema

Today is a new week.  Lot of stuff to do and check off my list.  This Friday night is our school’s Dinner and Auction.  So it is a week of putting it all together.  I have to finish up the boys passports (just have to get the guarantee part done).  I have an eye appointment for me and need to book a few for some of the boys.  Sammy has his Algebra project to complete.  So it goes…


This weekend while visiting the in-laws, Sammy and Tyler got into a playful fight.  It was comical, I suppose.  Sanj was the “ref” that just watched.  I was yelling at him to make them stop.  Obviously, he did not see the need.  I told him that he was on ER duty.


Sure enough, we get home.  Sammy is convinced Tyler broke his nose.  Since he could tell me this, with no crying or blood, I wasn’t worried.  Tyler, on the other hand, comes into the room with his right index finger all swollen.  “I think it is broken,” he says.  I looked at Sanj.  This is his writing, typing hand, this is his hand that he practices guitar and needs when he goes to the washroom.


Tyler was up most of the night.  Apparently at some point, he fell off his bed and was really hurting.  Here’s the thing, we are 99% sure it is more sprained then broken.  This is usually the case.  Yet, there is that 1% that you can’t help but wonder, “What if it IS broken?”


At the  end of the drama, Tyler want me not Daddy to take him to the emerg.  Lucky me!  I am feeling lousy… (cramp, yes, again) but when mommy duty calls, one must rise to the calling, right?


Lucky for us, we were in and out in an hour and half!!!  Of course, the nurses and doctor found the whole bit amusing.  When asked what happened, he said, “Um, I hurt it on my brother’s nose!”  lol


 It was not broken but obviously badly hurt.  She splinted it and wrapped it nicely for him.  No basketball!  Suddenly, this was all not so funny.  Now I had a moody teen, trying to convince me that he can play b-dall.  Yet, he gets home and has to go bathroom, lol, oh bother… how is this going to work?!! hehe…


I love my boys.  They are hilarious!

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Degrees and Date Night

Posted on 2010-04-17 by Reema
Today Sanj finished his last classwork for his Doctorate degree! Yeah!  He has his comprehensive test at the end of the month and then it is all over.  You would think, at least.  Yet, if you are a workaholic as my husband is, that time that was once taken seems like empty time.  I already can see the look of restlessness in him.  Brothers.  Yes, I know, I am pretty sure the field of psychology could have a field day with him!

Here’s the thing, all around me are people (family members) that are working on degrees.  Masters and Doctorates.

What am I working on?  I am not sure.  I am feeling restless.  I am feeling that maybe I need to be i n school working on something.  There is however the little factor that I  h a t e school!  I am not the kind of person that learns really well sitting in a classroom, taking notes, and then being tested on it.  I don’t learn like that.

I guess a degree isn’t really what I am after (got one) .  I already have a B.S. after my name and really I don’t think about it or use it.  I occasionally use the MRS. before my name but that is about it. lol  (It was sort of a joke… did you laugh)?  Oh fine, comedy hour isn’t my thing either.

I want to write… yet feel so lost still overwhelmed by it all.  I have lots of encouragement and offers to  help.  Maybe that is the step I need to take.  I am also thinking of taking a writing class.  I just need to do it.  I guess part of my problem is letting go.  There is so much that needs to happen on a school night … reading, memory verses, algebra, being in bed on time…  can and will that happen without me?

I need to let go.  I know.

We watched Date Night with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey.  Great Movie.  It was a little too honest and real.   We are that couple in so many ways, I felt uncomfortable sitting next to Sanj watching it during some parts.  On the ride home, we were silent for the most part.  A comfortable silence… yet then I thought, what if he thought that we had nothing left to say?  I said this and Sanj said, “I was just thinking the same thing”.”
  
We are that couple that thinks, “We really should go out… do you want to?” Yet really, we just want to hang at home and do whatever.  Is that bad?


We are that couple that is often awakened by our 5 year old cannon balling us with his body, begging us( ok not us just me since Sanj has usually been up for a couple hours already) to get up while clock tells us it is Saturday and not yet 7 a.m.


I loved the reality of being intimate… the long version or the short… lol.


I love the annoying things that drives each other crazy… leaving everything open (cupboards, drawers) or maybe leaving hair in the sink, or the toliet seat up or the half drunk cups of diet coke…

It was a great movie.  It was shouting out the reality of marriage.  I left thinking that being boring and normal really is OK, isn’t it?  

I would chose to marry Sanj over and over (most days, lol).  So we are good…. who needs a constant flurry of excitement?  Once in a while is good, though right?

These are my thoughts…  At least Sanj always knows what I am thinking!
xoxo
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Left Out…

Posted on 2010-04-15 by Reema
No one ever wants their kid to be the one left out.  You never want your child to feel hurt or rejection.  Yet most children will experience that ugly feeling of being on the outside.  No matter how much loving you give them, there is that moment when they will feel that pit in their stomach and no that they were left out.

Yesterday, while in line for the movies, I saw one of my boys friends.  Well I saw a group of his friends together.  This is usually the group that my son hangs with… at school.  They were with the dad of his hockey coach.  I felt weird.  My son was already in the theatre with Sanj and his brothers.  Would he see them?  Would he feel left out?  How come I was so bothered?

I remember Sammy coming home from school one day, upset.  He must have been 10 years old.  He said that his friend was having a birthday party and everyone was invited but him.  (What he meant was all his friends were invited but him).  I was unsympathetic, adamantly telling him that Mrs. Dingdong would never do that.  The boys have been friends since JK.  We were friends.

He was really hurt.  I finally decided to call and prove to Sammy that he was wrong.  I couldn’t stand to see the hurt on his face.  As Mrs. Dingdong answered, I could obviously hears the happenings of a party.  Ugh.  I was hurt.  We had to drive by their house on the way to ours.  I was wrong.

Having experienced being excluded one to many times, we have always had party that is either all the boys in the class or the whole class, when they were smaller.  It really isn’t about money as there are many creative ways to keep a group busy for cheap.

When the older ones outgrew a big birthday party, then it was a small couple of friends over to play… nothing announced to everyone.

Of course Mrs. Dingdong was entitled to do as she chose.  She let her son pick 6 boys, and her child, being a moody, broody kid to date, was not in the Sammy mood.  Yet the next week, he was.

It was a hard lesson.  As I watched this group of boys, my sweet son friends, engaged without him, it made me feel sad.  I really hoped that they weren’t going into the same movie as my boys.  My son may not have cared, yet still, I felt bad.

I watch children do this.  It is something that is up to parents, us, to teach them.  I watch this happen with grown ups…  Sometimes I feel myself trapped with the need to do the right thing and yet the desire of not wanting to bother.  Can’t someone else include them?  WWDJ?  Sigh… it isn’t the easiest thing at times… but as I want my children to do… it is the right thing.


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A Good Day!

Posted on 2010-04-13 by Reema
I had the weirdest day yesterday.  I was still motivated to keep at the laundry and purging of clothes.  I got so much done.  My day was not long enough, to be honest.  The younger two took longer than usually to fall asleep.  The older ones too way too long to settle.
Sammy was given a popsicle by my friend at school.  Then, on the way home, somehow they talked their dad into a slushie.  OK… my son + sugars+ dyes= a very long night.  Yet, he was working on really trying to control himself.  He kept saying, “Mommy, Jordan did this to me and I told him not to instead of punching him.”  Yah!!!  Then as I was making supper, he comes and gives me this hug with his taller than me frame and said, “I love you,” and dances with me. 
I love this kid.  He drives me bonkers.  Yet oh my goodness, I love him.

OK… can I brag about my boys this evening?  First of all, I am the worst parent at sticking to something.  So I prayed for help to be a better parent, to find a way to teach and motivate them.
Here’s the plan… my boys are forever wanting things.  Right now, Sammy wants a belt buckle, Tyler wants a watch, Zachary wants a pair of shoes… these are things that they don’t need…. yet really want.

I really want them to do their chores, without the nagging or whining.  I really want to instill in them the desire to serve.  I want them to understand that if there is something that they are about to step over… maybe it should be picked up instead.   I want them to understand that as a family, we all need to work together to keep the things we have in good shape… meaning the house, kitchen, laundry etc.

I want them to understand that they really have everything they need to live well and then some.

Here’s what I came  up with… instead of using money or allowance, I decided to use points.  
It allows me to vary the points or jobs with the different ages.  When they reach their points needed, they can get their chosen item.  Points need vary according to the price of the item wanted.




Name:  _______________________________
Week:  _______________________________
Jobs To Do:
Make your bed (2)
Hang up towel and pyjamas (2)
BRUSH YOUR TEETH (5)
Put dirty clothes away (2)
Dog Duty
Hang up backpack and empty lunch (1)
Chores: 
-dog duty (3)
-empty dishwasher (2)
-laundry (2)
-bring in groceries (2)
-put groceries away (2)
– pick up dog poop (5)
-take out garbage (2)
-extra chores ____________________________________ (5)
Acts of Kindness:
Not hitting back… come tell (2)
Giving compliments (2)
Doing a good deed for your brother (6) _______________________________________________________
Total Points:
What I am working towards:


Of course this is a start.  I gave points for things they should do natural, make their bed, brush their teeth, etc.  Then there is the motivation to go beyond and make efforts with a brother that may get on their nerves.  This week, they each are to try to earn 20 points a day.

I am writing this blog, not to tell about this because it is only the first day.  I am writing to brag about my son.  Sammy, you know, the one that drives me bonkers?  The one I am forever wondering what did I ever do  to deserve this craziness that sends me to the edge of insanity and back?

Here is my son’s evening… first he was overwhelmed by the thought of even earning 20 points.  Yet, he soon figured it out.  He brought in the groceries, put them away, was very kind to Zachary, who often drives him nuts.  He even cleaned the kitchen and swept the floor.  (Usually when Sammy cleans the kitchen, I am swearing, while I clean it up again).  WOW.  I was blown away.

I am so proud of him.  He earned way over 20 points and to top it off, he confessed to doing something.  I know that was very hard and it touched me that he apologized and said that he wanted to be good.

I love my boys.  I am so proud of the efforts that they made.  

Thank you, God, for the boys that You have given me.  How I love them!
Please help me be the kind of mom You want me to be.
I love you!



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Spring Cleaning, Laundry, Babies Coming Out…

Posted on 2010-04-12 by Reema
The weekend is over.  It was the start to some crazy major spring cleaning.  One minute I was laying down, contemplating a nap and the next minute I was gutting out the boys drawers, moving bedrooms and making life for all of us easier, in the long run.

We bought this house with the idea of making two bedrooms in the basement for the older two boys.  After spending money on making the bedrooms, adding a bath… and all that stuff… they have not really made the rooms theirs.  I get it.  I wouldn’t even want to be down there, as I am a chicken.  Yet…. I really wish we all knew this before we spent the money… that could have painted the house the colors I really want, put in a new kitchen and new floors… etc, etc, etc.  Sigh.  So instead, Sammy and Tyler’s stuff ends up everywhere.
So I moved the boys around and for now, everyone is  sharing a room.  Everyone has a closet for their clothes.  Everyone has a place to be.  Feels much better.  Now to just get Josh to stay in his own bed.

I also realized the boys have way too many clothes!  WOW!!!  When the laundry is done… (whenever that is) there is not really room for their stuff.  I guess the key is not to go out and buy a new shirt when they don’t have any but rather, just do the laundry! lol

In church, while we were all singing, Josh whispers to me, how do babies come out of your tummy?  I said, “Go ask Daddy.”  Sanj looked like he was going to choke!  lol

Here’s a questions for you, Jesus was baptized by his cousin, John the Baptist, right.  John the Baptist wasn’t a priest or pastor or anything… he wasn’t ordained, right?  How come only a ordained minister can baptize someone?

Please send me your thoughts… This will continue… I am just studying and trying to figure something out.

Aw… back to the task at hand.  Happy Monday!
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There’s a Party Going On Over Here…

Posted on 2010-04-10 by Reema

Today I am feeling sorry for myself.  I usually don’t give into the pity party even when I feel a need for it. Yet today, I am grumpy.  I am feeling sorry for myself for pathetic reasons.  I even know they are pathetic.  


– Today I wanted to wake up in a different bed.  I hate our bed.  I felt unrested and grumpy.


-Sanj came in, mad that the dogs got into the garbage.  Even though I know he had reason, it made me more grumpy to hear him grumpy.


– Nobody wanted breakfast that consisted of cereal.  I didn’t blame them but I didn’t really want to make it either.  Sanj was studying.  So I made cheese omelettes.  That soon turned to special requests… omelettes with onions, red peppers, meat, cheese…  I was feeling grumpy that I was chef to everyone.


-I had hockey banquet duty for Zachary.  Max had a skate with his friends/team.  That was fine.  I was grumpy at the disorganization that was at the hockey banquet… but it was bearable.


– We went to Blockbusters to return movies, get some new ones and some games.  Why was the worker a true _itch?  We did nothing to her.  She had a serious attitude.  The boys looked at me and said, “She’s grumpy.”  I was really angry at her treatment.  A man came in and she was pleasant to him.  The boys said, “She can be nice.”  Her treatment was rude, obnoxious and uncalled for.  Yes, I will complain.


-That made me grumpier.  Then I had to come home and deal with lunch demands.  I left all of them (except Josh, who really does help himself) to fend for themselves.


-I did some laundry.  That made me grumpy.


– THEN it was supper time.  I hate cooking all three meals.  I hate it.  Maybe it is because everyone else is relaxing and I resent being the domesticated goddess while they are all vegging out.  Not nice, I know.  But the reality at the moment.  Then Josh spills or throws (not sure) his sloppy joe all over.  Sigh.  I count backwards.


Pathetic, isn’t it?  I know.  I have a lot of emotions that have been running through my head this week.  Some of that emotion was disappointment, some sad and others unsettling.  Most of it, out of my hands.  I needed a good cry.  Yet once again, my tears are constipated.  Maybe none of it is really worthy of my time to cry over.


Anyway, today I was having a pity party.

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Good Bye Diet Coke…

Posted on 2010-04-09 by Reema

Today was one of those days that I had so much on my list to X off.  I got a lot done and yet there is still plenty more!  I was one of the science fair judges this morning.  That was actually interesting and fun.  I learned that I can’t pretend that my Diet Coke love affair is good for me.  I know all the stuff… but today this little Grade 2 girl had right there in front of my face pennies that were put into a glass of Coke.  It was the best way to clean those disgusting pennies … not vinegar or water.  Insert a bad word.  Sigh.  I didn’t drink any today.

I also learned that is you water a potted flower plant (I can’t remember the name of the flower but it was purple)… that the flower doesn’t care what drink it is given… coffee, tea or water.  They all pretty much did the same.

There were quite a few gross ones, such as how many times you should chew your food… the sample then put into an acidic liquid to show it.  Gross but well done.

So, I learned some new things today.  I learned that I hate soliciting businesses.  We are going to be having our annual Rhema Dinner and Auction.   I am on the committee this year.  I figured that the least I can do is hit up the businesses that we frequent so often that they know our name.  Most will not say no.  They don’t give me any big ticket items… (still not sure how you get those…) but I am grateful for anything.  Yesterday I went  into one of those stores.  As soon as he saw me with stuff in my hands, he knew.  He begins to give  me a hard time.  I know he is kidding but it was still hard.  My husband is a business owner.  I know how it feels to be hitting the same people for stuff.  The wonderful store owner did all I asked… hung up a poster, laid out flyers and agreed to get together a donation.

I left buying something I really did not need, just from the sheer stress of all that.  I told him to make sure his donation was more than the $20 I spent! lol

Some people do this as a living… I don’t know how they do it!  The stress of it all made me tired and willing to forego Grey’s Anatomy… thankfully it was an annoying rerun.

Did you know that sandwiches cut into triangles can mean love?  As I made the boys lunches, Zach asked me if I could cut his sandwich into triangles?  He had a strange look on his face.  I handed him his lunch with the triangle cut sandwiches.  He smiled.  Such a simple way to say, “I love you.”

It is freezing outside.  Ridiculously cold.  I actually saw snow flurries.  It is April.  Brr…  Made we want to come home and get back under my covers! I have to make myself sit down and fill out all the passport forms.  Ugh.  That is a lot of forms.  I  am not looking forward to it.  Yet we are going to be going to the States for Sanj’s graduation next month so I better get my act together.

 I obviously have nothing profound to say.  I am just needing to write.  Maybe it is a stalling tactic to avoid those forms.

If you are interested in buying tickets for the Rhema Dinner and Auction, let me know.  If you have a big ticket item that you would like to donate, please email.  sukreema@hotmail.com


Happy Friday!

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NO Feeling Is Final…

Posted on 2010-04-07 by Reema

Today I was reading this poem by Rilke that my cousin has posted on Facebook as she was remembering a cousin that died too young. 

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

Then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
“You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.”
(Rilke)

I am by no means a scholar.  I wish I could be at times, wish I had the discipline and drive to be, yet I am who I am.  Of course, I don’t think that is a bad thing… it is just a fact.

As I was reading this, I could help thinking of the line that  says,”Just keep going.  No feeling is final.”  I am not sure what that is meant to mean but it spoke to me.  No feeling is ever final.  I needed to hear that.  Sometimes I try to work through a situation and deal with emotions that surface.  I just want to be done with the emotions.   Yet when I find those emotions resurfacing, often times I am so disappointed in myself.  It is because maybe I find disappointment in myself for not being “over it.”

I think of my dad.  It is a life of roller coaster of emotions. Yet, when the unpleasant ones surface again, I am so dishearted.  I am frustrated that I have to deal with those emotions again!  No feeling is ever final.

Love is never final, is it?  It is a process.  It is a journey.  I don’t want to be scared to live and love due to fear.  I want to love big, as this is how I love.  I have to accept the fact that I hurt big too.  It must be OK that my feels are on-going.  They are never final.  Feelings for me is what keeps me alive. 

“Just keep going.  No Feeling is Final.”  I like that.

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Logging Off.

Posted on 2010-04-06 by Reema

This is Tyler. My mom never logs out of her Blog thing (You would think she wouldn’t have to).  But thats were she is wrong, cause now I can get on and write blogs on her blog. So now I will tell you about my day. I went to school, came home. Thats about it. Be ready to read more blogs from me on my moms blog.

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Life with Sanj…

Posted on 2010-04-06 by Reema

I am at “work” today.  I am supposed to be billing and other stuff but in the back ground is this babe screaming!  Oh my gosh, some sounds really do a number on me.  The sound of a screeching infant makes me want to run away.  Sanj does the infant screening for Peterborough at the office.  The mom is suppose to bring in a tired babe.  Sanj is then to put all these probe thingies on the babe’s head and then he needs the mom to put the child to sleep.  It is a 50/50 kind of thing.  Often everyone is left frustrated.

When I am in line at the grocery store, and I hear a wailing infant, I feel myself taken back into time.  Suddenly I am standing in line, my toddlers are restless and  hungry.  The baby in the car seat is screeching that newborn cry that makes the breast hurt and my heart races wondering how I am going to make it through the next 15 minutes.  It was this kind of day that made me give up ever shopping at the cheaper, bag your own grocery store.  Sure I saved the money but at that moment it was more important to save my sanity.  The other store bagged my stuff and called a carry out boy to help me to the van.  You can’t put a price on sanity.

I give up.  I take the file of work stuff and leave it on the desk, “I can’t concentrate.  I will come in tomorrow.”  This is one of the perks of sleeping with the boss! lol

Josh and Zach were suspended from school this morning.  The Health Unit did not have their records of their up-to-date vaccination.  I did turn it all in.  At least 2 times before.  Thursday evening I get the call that they don’t have the dates from the first year.  This is Easter weekend.  Everything is closed.  Frustration.  My doctor’s office is closed on Tuesday.  The boys think it is kind of neat to be suspended.  Breakfast with mom. Missing school.  It is all good.  Thankfully, the other doctor was able to help me out.  Suspenion over.  Back to school.

I had lunch with Sanj today.  He is so busy.  He is a self-professed workaholic.  By the time he is home, he is wasted.  Then he has the boys wanting “Daddy” and his homework is usually calling or he is off to a meeting.  So, often, I meet him for lunch.  He is still in his peppy work mode and I can have his attention for a few uninterrupted minutes.  He is a creature of habit.  Everyday, if he is alone, he goes to McDonalds.  He gets a Might Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken with a Diet Coke, no ice.  Did I say every day?  Yup!

The ladies at the drive thru know him.  They know that he will then park around the corner and eat his salad and listen to sports radio.  Today I joined him.  I got my grilled cheese happy meal with a toy.  My comfort food that I desperately needed today.  I was done my sandwich and he was still organizing his meal.  I looked at him.  “What are you doing?” I asked.

He is so cute to watch.  He knows he is a little crazy.  I love these silly little corks about him.  After he cleaned up, he looks at my 3/4 full Diet Coke.  I always leave my cup with drink still in it.  Sometimes the cup gets soggy at the bottom and leaks.  It drives him nuts, my half drunk drink.  I  look at him and smile.  “You are so lucky to have me!” I reply.

I drive him nuts.  The other day I drove the Denali bone dry.  OK…  it was late and in all fairness, I was tired and it was dark and I didn’t realize it was so empty.  This vehicle is his true love, I am convinced. lol  I went out in the morning to start it and it refused.  Oh dear. I am in trouble now.
I intended to go get gas and put it in the truck before he found out.  No harm, no foul.  Time slipped away and I didn’t.  I knew I was busted.

“Sanj, if I tell you something,  you promise not to lose it?”  I say.  He gets the look in his face that I am too familiar with.  “What did you do?”  I know he wanted to add, “now!”

Yikes, as  I told him, he gets flustered.  “The truck has a fuel injection thingy.”  Oh dear.  I had no idea what that means but it can’t be good.

Life with me is so special.  lol  This poor man.  How I love him!  I am so glad that he loves me too! lol!

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My Boys…

Posted on 2010-04-05 by Reema

Today  I had a nice day hanging out with the boys.  Nothing special, just a day at home… 
I loved that my younger two spent the day hanging out, being brothers, being secret agents and discovering being friends.  I heard Josh ask Zach, “Zachary, we are best buddies, right?”  Beautiful!
I love the thoughtfulness of a child of mine doing laundry for me, just because.
I love that no matter how big they are getting, that one of my teens will still ask me to lay down with him.  Beautiful!
I love seeing my boys reading.  When they find a book that they connect with, it is so refreshing to see the book worm in them come out!
Then there is the things that are not so nice to deal with.  One of the boys used a bad word.  He is not even sure why he used it.  I am so disappointed.  It isn’t a word that I would want them to use ever.  I know that he is around this language.  He knows better.  I really hope that he understood his mistake.  I hope that he knows he is cool just as he is.  Words, drugs, all that stuff is so NOT cool.   
I was really shocked to hear that it was used.  I am sad that they are growing up.  I can’t shelter them anymore.  I can only pray over them very hard.  I can only hope that the things that we have taught them for years will be present in their mind and heart.
I had a good day with the boys.  I am so glad that I can talk to them when I need to.  I am so glad that they are good boys who make my world so wonderful.  I am glad that they know we love them despite mistakes and choices.
I love my boys.  I am so glad that I had today with them.
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Trust and Obey

Posted on 2010-04-05 by Reema
I had an epiphany of sorts…  have you ever prayed for something that you desperately wanted?  When you were young and a relationship fell apart and you were sure it was meant to be?  Did you pray, beg God to fix it… of course, if it was His will?

I remember this.  I remember not understanding how this could not be God’s will.  I cried, hurt and spend unimaginable energy on this want.

What does it really mean… “And may Your will be done?”  Do I really mean that?  I have to admit, if I am truthful… no.  I know I should want God’s will to be done but yet really don’t want His will to be anything other than what I want.  Does that make sense?


I was thinking of this… of when I was dating this boy…  When we broke up… or should I say, when he broke up with me (as the boys keep reminding me)… I was so heartbroken.  If you have ever fallen for someone and then been dumped, then you know what I mean.  Being the emotional crazy one that I am, amplify my emotions.  I was so distraught. 

As a parent, when I am forced to say no to one of my boys for something they really want yet I know, as parents know, it is not in their best interest, it hurts me so much to disappoint them.  I fret over the decision and think of things to do that may take away some of the disappointment.  

I can suddenly see God, watching me, broken and begging.  I can only see how much He wanted to tell me to just trust Him… that He had it all under control.  He had something so fabulous in store for me and I just had to trust and look to Him.

This boy had always promised me that even if we broke up, he would come to my university graduation.  I just knew he would be there and it would be the moment that God would bring us back together again.  The weekend of my graduation came.  All my dearest friends were there… with their significant other.  Sanj was there too.  I kept looking for him all weekend.

Here’s the sidebar…  ever since I became friends with Sanj my freshman year in university, I loved him.  I loved him as a dear friend and yet I always crushed on him forever.  He was busy ignoring me.  He saw me as a little sister… or something of a childish nuisance that he put up with.  When he obviously did not have interest in me… I moved on (so to speak).  I actually wrote in my journal, my freshman year, “Please God, can I marry him?”  Over the years, while I was still in university and he was working on his Masters, we stayed friends.

The weekend of my graduation, almost everyone I loved was there.  It was to be an awesome weekend.  Little did I know just how memorable it was to be!  The last night we were all together, we were watching a movies.  There were couples everywhere… and then there was Sanj and I.

Funny how God works.  Did you know God had quite a sense of humour?  He chose this moment… to show me His amazing plans.  He answered my prayers… the one I prayed a long time ago and forgot about.

I had to experience hurt and  pain maybe before I could fully appreciate the gift of love God gave me.

As I was processing all this, I had to pause and realize that now, when I pray as an adult, I really do mean, “Lord, may Your will be done in my life.”  As much as I am so done having babies, I still often wonder how come God did not answer my pray for a little girl in my life.  How come?  I often wonder why?  

As I processed this epiphany, I realized that I am good with just knowing and believing that God is in control.  He KNOWS what is the best for me.  He knows why.  Me… I am just meant to trust and obey.

Trust and Obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.




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The Weekend…

Posted on 2010-04-05 by Reema
It’s 9:07 a.m. and my house is extremely quiet!  The older ones are still sound asleep in bed and the younger ones went off to play a game.  I love a day of no school and nothing on the go.  Outside is kind of cloudy and grey which makes hanging out even more enjoyable.

I love Easter.  I think I may love it more than Christmas.  OK… maybe I shouldn’t say that because I really do love Christmas a lot.  I love Easter Sunday.  I love singing the songs of praise that celebrate Christ’s victory.  I love that there it triumph.  I love knowing that all that is left is heaven.  Jesus did the hard stuff!  I can’t wait to get there!

Thanks to the wonderful weather, we were able to have our first campfire of the year on Friday night.  There is nothing better smelling than a burning fire and marshmallows!  If you add good friends to that mix… it makes for a great start to a long weekend.


As I was sitting in church, Josh asked me, “What are you wearing?”  He was referring to the long black skirt I was wearing.  I replied, “I skirt.”

He asked, “What do you have under it?”  This child has serious issues! lol
When we were in the bathroom, he said, “I hate pooping.”
I asked him how come?
He replied, “It’s weird.”

My in-laws were coming for Sunday supper and we were going to do the Easter egg hunt.  Since we were off in Toronto for the day, Saturday, I just figured I’d grab stuff on the way home Sunday.  I TOTALLY forgot that everything was closed!!!

I wish you could have seen my look of panic.  My fridge was pretty empty because we were off and about most of the weekend.  Thank goodness for Shoppers Drug Mart … lol… Yes, you heard me!  Thank goodness for a hubby that can whip up the most delicious spaghetti dinner.  By the way, I LOVE a man in the kitchen!

The boys had a great time Saturday.  We went to Frankie Tomato, which is an Italian Buffet.  Buffets are my boys best friend.  They love the smorgasbord of food… meat, pastas and the ultimate dessert buffet!




We then headed downtown to celebrate Josh’s birthday (yes, again) at Medieval Times.  So much fun!  Remember me wanting my own manservant? Yup!  We had that!  I did ask him if I could bring him home… he said I had to ask the king.  Our knight, the Red One, tossed my a flower!  Tyler still claims it was for him… but since he kissed it before throwing it to me, I’d say NOT.


The food was a ridiculous abundance!  Since we were going back in time, there was no utensils.  chicken, ribs, potatoes, soup, all were to be eaten with out the aid of cutlery.  It was funny watching the different boys reaction.  The soup was not a winner in most of their books.  lol  Josh had no problem diving into his food.  Most of the other boys were in need of a snack on the ride home!
 


What happens after you take 6 boys to watch knights fighting with swords and whatnots? Right!  6 boys sword fighting non stop!  They were so funny!

It really has been a great weekend.
I hope your Easter was filled with family time and love.  I am so glad for a God that loves me so much that He was willing to do death instead of me.

Thank You, Jesus.  I love You.
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Support, Lift and Durability

Posted on 2010-04-01 by Reema
Warning:  This is a warning to all the squeamish men readers:  words such as bra shopping, underwire and support occur in this post. 
Today is a day that I had a yucky list of things to do.  I had avoided it long enough and today was the day I had to tackle that list.  Then last night my mother -in-law called and wanted to come into town and do some shopping while my father-in-law came into the clinic.  I was freed from that list!
On the way to school, the phone rings and my mother-in-law called to say that they didn’t know they had to watch the kids (my niece and nephew) today, as they only had half a  day.  She was disappointed.  I was disappointed.  My list lay in front of me with no excuses.
It seems silly that I am avoiding the list as it really has a bunch of stuff that is me related.  Never-the-less, I hate doing the following:  a) blood work NEEDS to be done, fasting b) the van MUST be emptied and cleaned out (Sanj is sure that bubonic plague is alive in there) c)  the dreaded, almost as worse as labour, bra shopping.  See why I wanted to go shopping with my mother-in-law?
Sigh. So, first I went into Old Navy, 25% off everything, only today and got a couple of pairs of pants.  I hate pant shopping too but when I compare it with undies shopping, somehow it seemed barely.    Picked up a couple of pairs of shorts for the younger lads and found myself feeling sad… no more toddler size shopping for me.  The older boys are in the mens section!  Ouch.  How come the prices jump so much?
Anyway, feeling good about my luck, I headed into Sears.  In Peterborough, we have a little Bra Boutique that they fit you and bring you bras in your size.  Here’s the catch… as I was trying on the stuff, I peeked at the price tags. I think I may have stopped breathing for a moment.  One bra was over a hundred dollars!  I don’t like bras to begin with, no one but a select few would even see it, so what was the point?  (Of course, my sweet husband is worth it  but even he would screech at a $100 bra).
Sanj’s response to this was, “How come men don’t have $100 underwear?”  I am sure if you shop in the right places it can be found!
I left there.  That little visit was a few weeks ago.  Today, I was off to Sears.  I need one that caters to specific needs.  (Sorry men, I warned you).  After 30 something, one needs lifting, comfort and durablity.  I really hate underwire.  It bothers me so much.  Once I bought underwire bras wanting to look all cute and sexy.  After a bit, I had to cut the wire out.  It was like a weapon!
Being in my 40s now, I realize that Victoria’s Secret is that their stuff is for the 20 something or those that are fortunate enough to be a A/B cup size.  I needed the heavy artilery. 
I armed myself with 6-8 bras.  I found ONE!  It was liking the discovery of gold!  I was determined to stock up.  I was without kids, and undressed.  I may as well tackle this … that the bull by the horns!  Out I went for another round.  I wrestled, pulled, lifted and snapped.  After trying on close to a 15 bras  (I KNOW!  impressive, eh?) I left with 5-6.  I never have had that many bras.  Yet since I did it and found them, I was not letting them go! 
The last time I went bra shopping was probably a few years ago.  I don’t want to have to go back any time soon!  As I checked out, I was complaining to the sales lady.  She said, “You are just normal.  Every lady hates bra shopping!”  (This was a revalation to Sanj).  Did you know, in heaven, men are going to have boobs!  Big ones!

All in a day!  Now it is off to disinfect the van and get an oil change done.

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Today…

Posted on 2010-03-31 by Reema

I had the kind of morning that was hard to get motivated.  I was attacking the laundry.  It felt good yet I felt paralyzed to do much more.  I finally got my butt in gear and headed to town to do the things that needed to be crossed off my TO DO list. 


The major one was reporting to the Health Unit that the younger two had their necessary shots.  I didn’t call and let them know and today I got the call that the boys would be suspended tomorrow if I didn’t get it taken care of today.  I am sure that Zachary would have loved the day off, Josh, not so much.  CHECK ✔!  Then it was off to get Tyler to the orthodontist.  Ouch.  New wires and sore teeth.


That was just what I needed… to be outside.  It was SO BEAUTIFUL!  Perfect weather, driving with windows down, the radio up and my hair blow drying in the breeze.  I love that perfect weather!


The boys and I went to the park for a bit and then to supper with friends.  It was a good evening.


Today I found a picture  of someone from yesteryear.  This person was part of my world for a time.  I lost them and often wondered what happened to them.  I stumbled upon them today, thanks to the wide world of the web.  It was a little weird.   They looked older and not as happy as I would have thought or wished for them.


They hurt me.  I licked my wounds and God helped me move on.  Life has been good to me thanks to God’s mercy.  Yet I was surprised that I felt disturbed by their apparent lot in life.  Of course this is all my assumption.  Maybe they are happy.  Maybe life is good.  


Weird, isn’t it, to be part of someone’s world and then not to be anymore?


That is one of those life things I hate…. watching a friendship wander away.
I hate when dating someone stole a friendship when that relationship didn’t work out.
Oh well… it was just one of those moments today that left me feeling a bit sad.


It also left me grateful for my blessings… which, of course, Sanj, is the biggest one!





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"And they’ll know we are Christians by our love…"

Posted on 2010-03-31 by Reema
Last week I finally realized that my children have no regard for the clothes that they have.  They do not appreciate the fact that there is usually clean laundry always at their disposal.  I stopped doing their laundry last Thursday.  I told them they (the older 3-4) were responsible for their stuff.  I don’t think they believed me.

Yesterday after supper, I called them down and had them empty the laundry room.  It was so stuffed with clothes, you could barely open the door.  I think they were a little overwhelmed at the mound that piled there.  I had them sort through for their clothes.  I told them that there lays all their stuff.  If they wanted it clean, then wash it.

I have to admit, it feels good.  I don’t even feel bad.  As far as Max and the younger two, as long as it is in their bin, I’ll wash it.  They have always been good about putting their clothes away.

Guess they are growing up.  If I want them to be responsible men, it  has to include laundry!    🙂

I feel OK with the laundry that is my part because it isn’t an unreasonable amount any more!    Yah, me!
___________________________________

Zach asked me the other day, “How come some people don’t think we are Christians?”

That question surprised me a bit.  I guess it was a judgement that  was made based on the fact that we were not going to church regularly.  I found it bothersome.  It has been on my mind a bit.  Part of my wants to react ugly and mouth off but I won’t.  What is the point?  If someone is taught to judge Christianity based on church attendance… wow, won’t heaven be an interesting place?

My fingers have had to pause.  I feel that age old anger surfacing.  I feel that deep frustration that people are just so ignorant.  

This weekend at the retreat, my girlfriend and I were talking about church, God and all that is in the middle.  I was telling her of my decision to go back to church with some commitment to attend regularly.  This was a decision based on my children’s needs and desires.  It was a decision based on a nudge.  

I was then telling her about my dad’s letter.  She asked if I got the letter after the decision to go back to church.  She saw it as maybe they were connected.  I told her I didn’t.  I think that God understands my deepest hurts.  He knows me deepest fears.  He knows what I need.  I don’t think that God would take the peace that came with the letter away, even if I chose not to go to church.  I don’t think He is that kind of God.

As I listened that weekend to the conversations, so many revolved around church.  So much revolved on hurts and disappointments.  I really think that is because we expect too much.  Church is really a place to meet with others and worship God.  It really should be that simple, shouldn’t it?

That is what I see it as.  That is why this last weekend felt so good and was church for me.  We shared, sang, prayed and connected.  


“And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”


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Algebra 101

Posted on 2010-03-29 by Reema

Up until now none of the boys have brought home math that was too hard to help them with.  Usually they are able to finish it without help.


I suck at math.  In 9th grade, I was in a special math class.  I really appreciated my teacher, Mr. Shoun’s patience.  Last night I was missing Mr. Shoun’s math skills.  Sammy has a unit in Algebra that he is to do on his own.  It is called ISU… Independent Study Unit.  I have other things I call it.


Sanj apparently stinks at Math.  He just says he can’t do math… that must not be required in the works of a Doctorate.  Um… my husband just got busted.  He says, as I read him the blog, “It’s not that I can’t do math… I just don’t like it.”   Wow!  Like I enjoyed pushing out 7 pounds of baby out of my being six times?  Like I enjoy cleaning poop and vomit?  Like I enjoy …. OK… He is in major trouble!


Let me go back to Algebra.  I am helping Sammy get part 1 done of the ISU.  Thankfully there are answers in the back.  So I work it out backwards.   Yet here is my question?  When in real life is algebra used?  Who really cares about what x is?  The only use that I have had for Algebra was to help my high school kid out.  Those that do use this in their lives, can’t they just take it in University?


I guess I am not embracing the knowledge that I will get from being able to pass an Algebra test with flying colours and resent the fact that my kids have to be torched with this cruel and unusually punishment.



I was going to give examples of the math I did last night but don’t know how to type the exponent on the computer.  Too bad…


At least now I know that Sanj is more than CAPABLE of doing this math.  I am thinking I am off the hook.  On the other side of this, it did force me to push myself past the point of comfort and guess what?  I am not too dumb to get some of it!  🙂  That did feel pretty good!

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10 Wives!

Posted on 2010-03-29 by Reema

This weekend I had a glimpse of life with 10 wives!  Wow, what a difference!  The Mormons were on to something!

This was the weekend of the Rhema Retreat but it back a bunch of ladies hanging out at a cottage.  We had a really good time.

We went shopping… I tried on this very cool dress.  It was the kind of dress that one would wear if you were a movie star!  It had feathers on it!  When I tried it on, the sales lady said, “there he is.”  I paused.  He???  A little creepy!  I really loved the dress!  LOVED IT!  Wish I was fancy enough to have places to wear it! lol

Back to my wives… there were 10 of us in total…  after we shopped, there was snacks in the car to refuel us, some-else cleaned up and off we went again!
Meal times were a breeze.  Everyone naturally took turns preparing the food, doing dishes and setting the table. WOW!  Seriously, 10 minutes tops and the clean up was done!

Imagine my life with 10 wives!  Every kid would have a “mom” to look after their needs, I would be available for snuggles anytime!  There would be no issues with laundry or messiness.  Meals and lunches would be a breeze!

There was a disgusting abundance of food, lots to drink but the shortage was time.
How come time goes so fast when you are having fun?

Wow… my weekend with 10 wives was so cool!.

Seriously, there is nothing like hanging out with friends.  There is nothing like leaving your reality for a few days and stepping into another reality that is all about you.  It was pretty awesome.  The commonness  was our school that we all love so much, our God and our families.

It was so good to just be.  I felt God’s presence there.  It was church in the best sense of the word.  My weekend with 10 wives was pretty special!

Can’t wait to do it again!

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Look Who Is Turning 5 Years Old???

Posted on 2010-03-26 by Reema
Have you ever been given a gift that you didn’t understand the value of it when you received it?  I remember at our wedding, we got this set of hot pads that you would put on the table and then put your hot pots on.  I thought it was such a weird gift.  Yet, it is the one thing that I use all the time.  They are old, the picture on them is faded and they aren’t even straight anymore, yet, they are proved to be a useful gift.


Josh.  My sixth child.  Lord knew we didn’t need anymore kids.  We had our hands full with 5 busy boys.  Yet, me, being me, I needed another baby.  I wanted another baby.  (OK, I wanted to try for a girl, one last time).  My husband never says no to my heart’s desires.

March 27, 2005, Easter Sunday, Joshua Daniel was born.  He took a LONG time to come out.  After 5 babies, Zach, who only took 2 hours to slide out, the doctors were sure Josh was going to be fast, maybe even scary fast.

Who know he had other ideas.  He took 12 hours to get out.  I was not impressed.  I should have realized it was a warning.  He was going to be a babe that did things his way.  He was going to be a leader and not a follower.  I was so mad at him.  Really?  12 hours?  That was so not necessary.    He was 6’12 even though he came 3 weeks early.

Baby number 6… we didn’t get off to a great start.  He needed me so much and I needed space.  He didn’t let me have it.  He made me love him.  He didn’t care that I was sad I didn’t get my girl.  He didn’t care that I had 5 other sons that needed loving.  He just made sure that it was all about him.  He did in such a way that everyone fell in love with him.  His brothers adore him.  He leads them.  He knows how to do it in such a way that they don’t even know that they are being taken!  He has his dad wrapped around not just his finger but his whole heart!

Another boy.  Yet he, just like his brothers, is not just another boy.  Josh is so special.  He is the kind of gift that I didn’t realize the “value”of when I first saw him.  Yet he was not going to settle for being lumped into  the category of another boy.  

Funny how many people do that every day.  Yesterday I heard someone say, “Well at least my daughter got a girl in the mix of those boys.”  THOSE BOYS?

Back to Josh, though.  Josh is just delicious!  Josh is sparkly.  Josh is like the firework show that comes on Independence Day.  Josh is sure the whole world loves him.  He is sure that life stops just for him.  He really thinks that blinking at him will make him have a dream about you.  He is sure that toys in the stores are just waiting for him to come and bring them home.  He believes that shooting someone with a gun is showing affection.  He loves to snuggle and be told that “I am so glad that Jesus gave you to me.”

My Josh is turning 5 tomorrow.  5 years ago this little gift came into my life.  I have the pleasure of finding out every single day what a wonderful gift I have been given full of surprises that make me want to cry with thankfulness that I was blessed with this little but not so little bundle of love.

Joshua Daniel… Happy Birthday, my sweet blessing from God.  I am SO glad that Jesus gave you to me!  I love you with all my heart and then some.  You are loved and cherished! 

Thank you God, for knowing how much I needed Josh in my life.  Thank you for giving him to me.  What a delightful gift!  What a yummy treat!  What a privilege to be called Mommy to this dear boy!
Amen.

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Big One and Little One…

Posted on 2010-03-26 by Reema

Today was Josh’s trip to the sugarbush.  I was planning on going with him.


Sammy made the Junior Team for hockey in high school.  Today was the big tournament for them.


Last night Sammy asked me if I could come to his game.


Here’s the thing about teens.   They are growing up.  They are seeking independence.  Yet they still are in need of their parents.  I am so glad he asked.


Josh was not impressed.  He still isn’t impressed.  Yet he will get over it.  If you look up baby in the dictionary, you will likely see Josh’s picture!  Life is really all about him.  His brothers cater to him.  We forget he is going to be 5 years old (tomorrow) and continue to take his lead as baby of the family.


Going to Sammy’s game was quite an experience for me.  It was a whole new world.  Our boys play on the  city teams.  Well, the church teams.  Sammy is a very talented athlete.  He just excels in the world of sports.  He is a great player.


Yesterday, when I walked into the arena, the game had just started.  I found myself holding my breathe the whole game!  (Quite a talent, I know)!  The boys on the teams were huge!  Not only were they bigger than big but they were rough!!!  Wow.  I was scared.  My Sammy was one of the smaller players.  I found myself praying that God would keep him safe.   Intense.  Rough.  Hockey. Yikes.


All was well and Sammy was exhausted.  I am proud that he was able to hold his own.  I am not sure I want him to try out for the high levels.  At least not until he puts on a 100 more pounds and grows a few feet!


This was the day of my biggest and littlest.  How so alike and different they are!  They are like the book ends of our family!

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