I feel Weird…

Posted on 2009-09-04 by Reema


I feel so weird. My dad’s suppose to have surgery (can’t remember what kind) and so my mom went to help him out.

It is what it is. It is a cycle. Just before she left she said that she wished she didn’t say she was coming. But she went. It is what is familiar, I guess.
She called my brother saying my dad isn’t doing well. Of course we know this. He has been hanging on for a while now. I think it is God… waiting… giving him chances to fix things… or maybe he is just stubborn… my dad.
Have you ever loved someone or something… yet you know you have to let go? It is a process, the letting go, but eventually you figure how to release, that pain becomes a dull ache that you feel once in a while, you may see it/them and then your life goes on…
Have you? This is how I feel about my dad. Yes, I love him. Yes, I wish for so much more. Yes, I have to let go or else I’ll drowned in it…. the love and pain and hurt.
Maybe what I have spent the past so many years doing is mourning him. I feel weird inside.
I guess I don’t wish him dead… of course not. Yet, I know that only in death will he have peace. I wish him peace that passes all understanding.
Because my mom is there… there will be the ongoing pulling me/us into the drama.
Until it ends.
And then what? I don’t know. But I am feeling that dull ache. I am feeling tired. I am feeling that pull. I am feeling tired of always having to be strong to fight against getting pulled into that cycle.
Never do I want to be part of that cycle. Is that OK? Well it has to be. I don’t think I would survive going back to it again. It was too hard to get out the first, second and third time.
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Tonight’s Gonna Be A Good Night!

Posted on 2009-09-04 by Reema


Stuff…

I have so much that I need to get out by writing… and I don’t even know where to start!
So let me tell you how beautiful a night it was last night… so bright and gorgeous. I had to take of a picture of the moon… in this picture, it really isn’t all that… but I just love a full moon…
Last night was our school’s Meet the Teacher BBQ… It is always a great way to start off the school with the excitement of reuniting with friends, making some new ones, checking out the classrooms… and food to top it off!
I always feel so charged! I love it! I feel like (as much as I have loved being with my kids this summer) I am ready for MY play dates!!! I have missed my friends, chatting in the traffic circle… playing when we can go out of a movie etc!
Do you know that song “Tonight’s gonna be a good night?” by Black Eyed Peas? Well I know that this school year’s gonna be a good one!
We have really struggled as a school… with adjusting to changes and financial issues… yet I really have seen that when we as a school (and school board) DO THE RIGHT THING… despite all others reasons… God is faithful!
Sometimes you need to see a God Sighting… last night I saw a few … watching families return that weren’t able to until God did His thing!
I am so looking forward to seeing this awesome year unfold!
Prayer… really… you can’t underestimate it! Really… why would you want to? What if? What if there really is a Santa Clause? Or the Easter Bunny? Or a God? Oh to just grasp the faith of our children… and just know Santa’s going to come through… Just keep the faith and believe that God has it all under control… He does it all for our good in His timing!
I am just preaching to myself. lol Sorry!
It was a good night!
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Prayed Over!

Posted on 2009-09-03 by Reema

I called my cousin the other day to see how things were.  He answered in his normal voice.

“How are things”… I asked?
“Really good! The doctors can’t believe how well Johnny is doing.  He may get to go home tomorrow!” he told me, happiness oozing thorough the phone.
I told him how happy I was… etc.  He told me how he couldn’t believe it.
I told him that it must have been all those prays being sent his way!
He laughed.
Just shortly after Johnny was in the hospital and I had talked to him, I told him about all the people that posted that they would send prayers for them.
I could hear him getting flustered.  
“I don’t really like talk of prayer etc.” he said… I could hear his pain.
“Ujjal, people pray to do something they believe in and makes them feel like they are doing something.  It isn’t really about you… it is just a gesture.  And hey, what if God is there and listening?”  
I just let it go with there are people that are thinking of you.  Just pass that on to Johnny.
How much  he must have been hurt to get so agitated.
I am so thankful to all of you that prayed.  
I am so thankful for the extra time they have been given.
I am so thankful that God is a God of mercy and love.
Thank you!
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Whites…

Posted on 2009-09-03 by Reema


Just a question…

Do you hate doing the whites of your laundry?
I separate the clothes, keep putting the whites in a pile and let the whites collect!
When I have no choice, I put the white in.  Yet I HATE folding them.
I have had to wash the white again… many a time because I left them there too long.  Ewww…
So I have this thing about dealing with the white clothes.
I think because it is just all whites… no beginning or end.
Weird… I am weird right?  
Oh fine!
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Ready or Not… Here High School Comes!

Posted on 2009-09-03 by Reema


Last night we went to Sammy’s high school grade 9 orientation. Wow, what a lot of people!

Lots of people and smells confined to hallways with no air flow! lol
Now I know why they say no perfumes due to people with allergies!
My nose is still complaining.
I have never been through a public school system. So I was overwhelmed by size of everything.
I am glad that Sammy seems excited and not too overwhelmed.
I am so glad that he has his friends in his classes, some of them and can get lost together. 🙂
Just little things like working his lock (that is what this picture is of)… eating… apparently it isn’t too cool to eat… and I know that snow boots, hats and coats are not the things to wear either!
I am sure it is all good. I am kind of excited for him. I hope his high school years are full of happy memories and few of the yucky kind.
Tuesday, I will drop him off at a friends house and they can walk together.
I don’t suppose I can sneak in on the pretense of visiting my friend that works in the library… eh? lol Probably not.
Last night I told him I had volunteered in the yearbook club to help with the pictures…
His reply was “I’ll drop out of school!”
It is all good. Bring it on…
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Mars… For REAL!!!

Posted on 2009-09-02 by Reema



OK… I am writing this with steam coming out of my ears and other places…

My husband has really pushed my buttons today.
Remember how I said that I banned the boys from our bathroom?
So I went in early this morning and the seat was up. When Sanj came in from the gym, I said
“Sanj, could you not just put the seat down in this one bathroom… “
In 15 years of marriage and parenting, I have never once bugged them about putting the seat down. I figured this cuts down the chances of me seating on a wet seat.
Well… my annoying husband goes off on a tangent. How come men have to put the seat down? How come women can’t put the seat up when they leave?
Really is this necessary?
He didn’t shut up either… as he full well knows that he is annoying me. I had to give him the finger to show him my true emotions at that moment.
Oh yah, be sure that he is going to comment … rant and rave with big words that you may require a dictionary to understand his reply. Blah blah blah!
Men are so from MARS!
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Bathroom Laziness!

Posted on 2009-09-01 by Reema

Since my post about bathroom issues… I have closed off my bathroom to the boys.

I have a hard time sticking to things… but I have remained firm. If my older ones try to sneak in for a shower… I have decided to charged $10 the first time, $20 the second time… etc.
I am so pleased. This morning as I peaked into their bathroom, I KNEW it was coming.
“Mommy, can I PLEASE shower in your bathroom? Ours is so messy!”
“Mommy, can I Please brush my teeth in your bathroom, I’ll clean it up after I am done…”
NOPE!
So I divided up the bathroom…
Max… pick up the clothes and toys.
Jordan … wipe off the toilet and sink.
Tyler… hallway stuff.
Soon it was done. Cleaner than it was half an hour ago and usable.
I feel good. It is a lot of work nagging and then follow up nagging… but at least it is getting done… and not by me. Yah!
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Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!

Posted on 2009-09-01 by Reema


I am not sure how to scream with letters that would accurately describe my feelings today!

There is so much laundry everywhere… which I keep neglecting so I can go and play with the boys… yet I have set a deadline of Friday for it to be done and put away!
There is the house that needs constant cleaning… where does dust come from??? I think dusting brings more dust!!!
But Zachary is intrigued by the toilet cleaner and brush… so hey, cleaner toilets… check!
There is a bit more shopping to do and then there is still the playing.
Beach tomorrow after noon, Warsaw Caves on thursday and Ontario Place on Friday for our last hurrah!
I feel the need to be organized for Tuesday (our first day of JK, grade 2, grade 4, grade 6, grade 8 and high school!!! Yikes… my heart is racing.
Plus I am almost done the book I am into which I am enjoying and wondering how the story is going to end like I think it should when there isn’t that many pages left?
Tomorrow is Open House for Sammy and his fellow grade 9s. Thursday is our Meet the Teacher for the other boys.
I feel like I am on the cusp of something huge. After having a little one to be with for the last 14 years… I am letting the last one go into the big world. Tyler is beginning his last year at Rhema. I can’t even image him graduating because I can still see his tears rolling down his cheeks as I hug him goodbye in JK. Soon he is going to be leaving this safe haven…
Then there is Zachary who seems like he should still be in SK… yet he is venturing into Grade 2!!! Then there are my two, Jordan and Max, that are moving along and it seems like everything is going to fast!
Wait! I am not ready for summer to end! Another week would be good… please?!!
And then there is the issue that I keep smelling vomit. I don’t know what the heck I am smelling but it is really disturbing me!
So I sit here stalling… I really need to take up Yoga… and learn how to breathe in deep and release the stresses.
Right now we are off to see a cute Audiologist to get some of the boys hearing checked out. They seem to talk TOO LOUD!!!
So I best end this blog … but I will tell you the funniest thing I saw while driving back from the dump… There was a herd of sheep all running together towards something… and then I see a sheep running with the pack but with a bucket on its head! It was so funny!
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Tug Of Love!

Posted on 2009-08-30 by Reema


I blogged about the frustrations of parenting my 14 year old. My cousin, my sweet, smart cousin, Cynthia, wrote a comment in response to it saying… “ it doesn’t help to know that 14 is when they are struggling to separate their identity from yours either … or that it is especially crucial for boys to separate from their mothers at this age. “


I forgot. Over the years as I watched Sammy and Sanj battle it out over hair styles, clothing and friends… I always worried about what would happen once the teenage years were upon us.
I never dreamed that I would be the one that was the target for his de-funk.
Here is a quote from Karen Vincent of Elite Life Coaching“

Often times mothers feel this pulling back more than fathers do. This is because mothers are generally seen as the nurturers and the caretakers (although not always) and therefore sons need to push their mothers away in order to begin to create their independence. This is obviously very concerning for a mother who may try harder to reach out to her son in an effort to increase communication and to remain actively involved in his life. This, however, is actually not helpful and can create and increase in opposition, isolation or family discord. Understanding the reason for the behavior can be helpful for mothers so that they do not take this pulling back personally and can allow their son some space to begin to develop independence. Sometimes this pulling back is not so obvious with fathers, however, it still exists. Sons may connect with their fathers around other things (playing sports, a game on the TV, a project in the house) while maintaining an emotional distance during this time of developing independence.

Boys more often than not will isolate and avoid confrontation when possible. However, that is not to say that boys do not display strong, negative emotions towards their parents which can be scary and very problematic. Yelling by adolescent males can be very aggressive and threatening in nature and at times the anger turns physical which can result in their throwing things, breaking things and at times even lashing out physically at a parent. As is already stated, this can be very scary for both the adolescent who has likely grown in size and strength and for the parent.

Can I say... well la tee da! Hum... how many diapers did I change? How much I suffered while trying to master the art of nursing... ouch! OK… it is a phase. I am a grown up. I am suppose to be well adjusted and handle all these changes. But you want to know the truth? I am ill equipped.

Maybe I should have taken up golf or hockey? Or maybe I can just relax a bit. It is on Sanj. Have fun with the bonding and all that stuff. I guess I was lucky enough to have the last 12.5 years of being loved. Oh yah, I still have 5 others that still show their love.

Guess if and when Tyler goes through this next year, I will be better prepared.

Do other parents go into this … the teen years knowing all this stuff? How did I miss it? I am so good about reading and understand the phases of childhood. I must have read “What to Expect When Expecting” 7 times! If there a version I missed?

OK… I am not complaining. Thank you so much Cynthia, for pointing that out. I missed it. I was so busy taking it personally.

By the time Josh comes around for the ride, I will just check out and go backpacking in Europe! Yahoo! I can’t wait!





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Caution!

Posted on 2009-08-30 by Reema


Last night I had a hundred different things I needed to write. I was too tired. Yet I couldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing.

I was thinking of all the things that parents do, good and bad. I was thinking of how hard it is… parenting. I was thinking of the years past when they were babies. It really was easy when they were babies. Feed them, change them, play with them, love them… all of which was so natural.
Now… it is hit or miss.
I can still love them till it hurts but that isn’t enough. They can hurt back. That wasn’t the deal… was it?
I am not good at this stage. Suddenly I realize why God gave me Josh. While my 14 year old is there being not so nice… my 4 year old lays there and says to me, “You are a good mommy. I love you.”
Caution… parenting is not for the weak at heart!
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A New Way…

Posted on 2009-08-30 by Reema


Yesterday was the Father/Son Golf Tournament at the boys club.

Sammy and Sanj were a team. Tyler asked a Mr. Neilson (fellow golfer, family friend, father to fellow classmate…) to be his fill-in dad.
They had a great day together. Sammy and Sanj came in second. Tyler forgot his bracelet so that may have impacted his game a bit! lol
The thing about community is there are always people will to fill in when you need a surrogate.
One of the positive things about Facebook is that there is interaction between people that may not normally interact. My boys having Facebook relationships with teachers and adults that they may not otherwise.
An example of this is Mr. Neilson… Tyler admires him as a golfer. At the club championships, Tyler was really hyped about his game. He had been practicing and studying his game.
The championships came and Tyler did not have a good game… according to him. He was frustrated and very down. I passed Mr. Neilson in the parking lot and was chatting about Tyler’s frustration. He said … “That’s OK… tell Tyler I shot a **! But I had fun doing it!”
As I repeated the conversation… Tyler perked right up. “He really shot a **?” Smile.
I guess misery loves company.
I love the little conversations or one liners that the adults take time to leave the boys.
It is another form of encouragement and mentoring.
It may not be what we are used to … but it is a new day.
It is a new way!
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Rejuvenated!

Posted on 2009-08-28 by Reema

It has been a stressful summer for those that serve on the board of our school. Financial issues have led to some families leaving and letting some teachers go. We are a family so it is so hard to accept these kinds of changes.

I wondered how it would all come about. Yet over the last weeks I have seen God’s hand. Really seen HIS hand! Things have happened that are truly God’s guiding. I love watching Him work.
I am one that gets so frustrated sometimes Looking FOR God that I miss the SIGHTINGS as they are happening in front of me.
Over the last few months I have said a couple of prayers asking God … if it is possible… if He could work somethings out for people I care about.
I have to admit… I prayed both prayers with out much faith. Sad and bad but true.
I feel like I won the lottery. Not that these things have happened because of me… of course not. But sometimes you just need to see a God sighting… and how awesome when you see it in people’s lives that are so deserving!
There has been so much of our school community coming together and just getting stuff done. I love it!!!
Today I was to go to the portable that was used as a reusable store at the school and finish cleaning it out. If you have read any of my blogs, you are well aware that cleaning is not my favorite thing to do. I hate cleaning.
I have to admit I was very overwhelmed looking at the stuff that needed to be done and not feeling well either.   Yet the two other moms that came to help brought their children too… we had 14 children between the 3 families… and the children WORKED!!!  It was so wonderful!
Add some teachers that came and donated their time and energy… a couple of dads that were there at the right time… It was great!!!
I am so thankful to be part of such a great place!!! (Hey… we are accepting applications… call for you tour… 705.743.1400)!
Being there rejuvenated me!  God is so good.
So I end this blog with this thought… never know who it may apply to…
Sometimes we think doors are closed.  We are accepting things as they have to be.  Yet sometimes God opens the door.  It may not be the easiest thing to walk into His open door yet sometimes we need to just walk through in faith.  Sometimes we need to let others get a blessing in doing and we need to be the gracious receiver.  Sometimes God is working things out even if we don’t ask and just accept!
How awesome is it to serve a God that really does have us covered!
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A Batty Day!

Posted on 2009-08-28 by Reema


Wow! Today was a full day. I am exhausted by the constant need of mommy today. Not so much the physical exertion but the emotional one.


The boys were just busy and full of energy and then some. On the way to get a few heads of hair tamed, Sammy and Tyler wrestled, punched, slapped and laughed the whole way. I was stressed by the interaction waiting for a breaking sound or crying.

Then there was the “keep away Zach’s ball cap” game while Zach was screeching for it.
Then there was who was going to sit in the back…
It was on going.

To add to the stress of my day… while at the school with a great group of ladies there to clean out the portable… I made my way to the office. As I walked down the hall this black THING flies past me… I could have touched it… I SCREAMED and ducked into the office shutting both doors as Rena, our sweet, calm secretary goes and tell our principal there’s a BAT!!! ( I am shivering even as I write it!!!)

I am hiding out in the office.. in walks Mr. S … I see his face (the expression he had on was similar to ones I had seen on my boys faces) and saw a thing in his hand as he throw it at me.

OK… I didn’t even know I had the ability to scream as I did. I don’t know WHAT I would have done had he really thrown a bat at me… but probably would have gone into cardiac arrest!
Oh MY GOODNESS!

I really was scared but that turned into embarrassment as I realized I had been teased.

What do they say about PAYBACK? Any ideas are welcome… especially from you, Mrs. S!
I think that little experience exhausted me! Mr.S did come and apologize saying he didn’t know I was really scared! OK… forgiven but NOT forgotten!

So was my day full of testosterone. I love it. All of it for the most part. But today I could have used a bit of pink and fluff in my day. I wonder where I can get some cotton candy!
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My Reality… Your Reality….

Posted on 2009-08-27 by Reema



Today my girlfriend came up from Toronto.   We have known each other since my early days of marriage.  Our husbands played football together and we would hang out whenever we had the chance.

Her kids are in their 20s.  We are living in two very different worlds.   She called me once and said she was bored.  I was so upset.  “Don’t call a mom of 6 boys and tell her your woes of being bored!”
It is a joke between us.  Do you have a friendship that is just easy?  It isn’t any work?  We are together and it is just relaxing.  We call when we call and we see each other when we see each other.
She stepped into my reality for a few hours.  I am sure she is going to go home tonight and enjoy her reality… quiet and bored doesn’t seem so bad! lol
She was shocked at the boyness of my boys.  We went to a creek so the boys would be occupied and we could hang out.  Yet I am not sure she really relaxed.  She is not used to boys wading into a creek looking for critters…  Yet she was fearfully curious… when the boys caught the crayfish, frog and even a fish.
The boys were very comfortable with her presence quickly and had no qualms of being there usual self of fighting for seats and nets.
Our reality is very different.  Our lives are very different.  I love her honestness and approach to life.  I love her realness.
I am glad that she thought our new house is closer… or felt much closer… maybe she will come down more often.  Or maybe I’ll escape to her reality for a break!
A good day.  A good day spent with a friend.
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The Bracelet

Posted on 2009-08-27 by Reema

My sweet Tyler suffers from self afflicted anxiety.   There are some things that stress him out yet over the years and we have really worked at this.  

Yet now that he is of the age to initiate something things such as  playing in a golf tournament.  He does it with a lot of enthusiasm.  It is all good until the morning of the tournament.  Then the symptoms appear.
Usually it begins with a belly ache or symptoms of the flu.  When this doesn’t work for him, we get a phone call with an injury.
One year he “broke his foot” by hitting his ball that hit a tree and ricochets back to hit his ankle.
At another one he had  sudden onset of the flu.
It is a well known fact that a new environment stresses him out as well as not knowing who he will golf with.
The boys saw/heard of the wristbands with pieces of magnet on them.  Many sports figures are wearing them.  It is been seen on the golf course to provide calm allow you to play your best game.
Tyler bought one.  He wore it to Hockey Camp… another thing he chose to do and really stresses about every year.  We knew that if it works we would know!
So does it work?  Many who have it swear it does.  The boys are in a golf tournament on Monday… so we shall see.
I don’t know for sure… but he has been a lot calmer at hockey camp.  No sudden sicknesses showing up.  Just minor things… a helmet that is too tight… the need for a new mouth guard… but vomiting or life threatening injuries!
I may have to buy some stock!  Maybe I should buy myself one for the first day of school!
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I Don’t Really Have A Title…

Posted on 2009-08-26 by Reema

I am stalling… as there is a very gross bathroom I have to clean before bed!

I just baked a blueberry cake… well I am waiting to make sure it turned out.

At the grocery store, if you spent over $100 you can 2 big things of blueberries. None of us are big blueberry people. So I made yummy muffins to disguise the blueberries… most ate the strudel topping… and to finish off the remainder of the blueberries… comes the cake.
If you are wondering why I write even when I have nothing to say… it is just me trying to discipline myself. Write everyday. It is what writers (the real ones) say to do. So I am … thus my blog.
Today was a good day. Busy as usual. Then we went to the creek and played. I know I have hundreds of pictures of the boys playing at the creek. Yet I love taking pictures of them playing here because they are so engaged. They love it! They can’t get enough!
As we were walking my 11 year old walks with me and says, “Can I hold your hand?” I love it!
Tonight I am laying down with Josh in bed and Max is keeping us company.
Max asks me “Would you want 6 boys or 6 girls?”
My reply… “6 boys.”
Max replies ” But you always said you wished you had a girl.”
My reply… “Yes, Max… I do wish I had 1 girl not 6!”
Josh says ” You are the girl!”
Phew problem solved. Good thing we just have one girl in this family!
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Love Me… Like Me….

Posted on 2009-08-26 by Reema

I am not sure what the mother rules are… so I am probably breaking a big one… but is it OK to admit you don’t LIKE one of your kids?

Probably not, eh? Well good thing I am not talking about one of mine! lol They are all angels and I love them dearly!
A friend of mine is having a tough go. Her daughter is miserable all the time, rude and has a problem with entitlement. She is never wrong and therefore really does not feel the need to apologize. My girlfriend has so worried about her daughter not having a conscious.
I, personally think a parent is not going to like their child all the time. It is OK to feel that way because it is a real emotion and who really likes anyone 100% of the time. I don’t like myself 100% of the time!
I remember when one of the boys was born, my labour was very painful. It was a short labour (I use that term loosely). 2 hours of active labour and I was out of this world in pain. I have to admit that when he was born, I really did feel anger towards this babe.
Stupid, yes, I know. But I was dealing with the boy factor even though I already knew the sex and to top it off, it so ridiculous the pain that I went through. I thought a shorter labour was going to be awesome… I would have rather been in 12 hours and had an easier time.
So day 1 went by and I started to feel really bad about not liking this babe. What if I didn’t bond with him? I remember the 2nd night laying there, just staring at him. Slowing over a period of time, I feel in love with this rascal. He worked it and won my heart. He is a keeper.
Thankful love takes time sometimes… even for parents.
So as I watch my girlfriend struggle to like her daughter, I think it is perfectly normal, isn’t it?
The love is there. The like factor is as it is in any relationship. Why should parenting be different?
But what do I know… as I am constantly reminded by my wonderful babes!
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Lou Lou Skip to the Lou!

Posted on 2009-08-26 by Reema

Living in a house full of men, I learn the funniest things. Women, we really are a very different sex. We just are. There really isn’t a better sex, just very different.

Sanj comes home from being out and shares this experience with me. He is in the bathroom, doing his business at the urinal. Beside him is a boy… about Zach’s age. The boy stares at him.
Discombobulated, my sweet husband turns a bit. The boys keeps staring. Sanj is extremely uncomfortable and leaves as quickly as possible.
As he is sharing with me his experience, I am laughing! I really didn’t see what he was so stressed about.
I stumbled on this blog (http://bealing.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/dan-dan-the-lavatory-man ) and laughed again as I read this:

One night last week a bloke talked to me in the pub toilet. Yes, exactly, that’s what I thought. He actually tried to hold a conversation with me while I was going about my business. Yes. He did.

Most of you reading this will fully understand the distress this caused me, but in case a woman has accidentally logged in, I shall explain: Blokes don’t talk to each other in the loo. Never. Never, ever, ever. It’s just not done. I could be standing there at the urinals with my best mate to my left, my dad to my right and my long-lost brother washing his hand at the sink behind me and no words would be exchanged until we left the Gents. Protocol is to have one hand (or in my case two hands) on your willy and stare straight ahead reading the graffiti or the very amusing adverts for online poker on the wall in front of you. But whatever happens KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF AND YOUR EYES FRONT !!!

A public lavatory is a place where we men feel at our most vulnerable. We’re not the greatest communicators at the best of times, so the chances of indulging in idle persiflage fly out of the window the minute we get our winkles out.

roll

So this bloke—let’s, for the sake of looking for another joke, call him Dan— so this bloke Dan spoke to me in the Gents. I have no idea what he said, I was in shock. All I know is that it wasn’t “Alright, mate?” or “Ooooooooh, that’s better”. No, it was in the form of an opening line of a conversation. I just heard noise, my brain couldn’t process the information. Virtually all of my body froze, though part of it went limp and shriveled. I zipped up, nodded politely (I’m British, after all) and left immediately and quickly, and what I had started in the urinal was left to dribble down the inside of my trouser leg as I fled.

Are you laughing with me?!!!


I wondered if our boys knew this… so I asked them over lunch. Sammy looks at me and says, “why are you talking like this?” I guess the natural discomfort is something born in them. Sanj said that most boys just pick up on this kind of social etiquette.

I can’t image going to the bathroom and doing my business in front of everyone. Why are there urinals? How come they just can’t have stalls like we do? What does it mean when a guy does go into a stall?

Aw… the mysteries of the opposite sex!


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The Bed!

Posted on 2009-08-26 by Reema


It is 5:42 a.m. and I am up.  This is not a typical thing but as I climbed back into bed I felt like I was climbing a sand dune!

Our bed is a gadget bed.  It is one that has two single size bladders that make a kind bed.  The “luxury” of this bed is that each person can have their chosen level of comfort.
It was a splurge many years ago that my sweet dear hubby bought.
He is a gadget person.  He is also stubborn!
Over the years the something or other leaks causing the mattress to slow get softer and softer.  If you are on my side, you can actually roll off as you would as a kid rolling down the hill.
It is a chore to hook up the tubal thing and pump it up.  So it doesn’t get done too often.  So by morning I have rolled down hill and am snuggled into Sanj!  Hum… maybe this is his motive all along… as I am a leave me alone sleeper.
I keep threatening to go out and buy a new bed… which may happen at some point.  Yet there always seems to be too many other things to buy with that kind of money! lol
So as I climbed back onto my bed… feeling grits of sand… from the boys who laid there after no doubt playing in the sand box…
I felt like I was at the sand dunes… I just need a bucket and shovel!
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My COUSIN…

Posted on 2009-08-25 by Reema


I want to tell you about one of my cousins. Ujjal…. a.k.a James. We are one month apart. He is 6’6 and in drag is one of the prettiest ladies! Well… at least has one of the best bodies in drag! lol

We grew up together. We fought, played and love each other. After my family left Florida in 1982 and moved to Ohio I used to get letters from him or phone calls chatting about all his girl friends.
Sometimes while I was in university, he came and lived with us for a while. He needed a place of refuge as he came out. I discovered all his girlfriends were really boyfriends.  His Dad did not handle that his son loved other men.
He is the most loving guy you will meet. He also comes with a fierce temper. He is musical and gifted in the arts. He is also in many ways the most honest person you will meet. I know in the first 5 minutes if my makeup or outfit meets his standards. Usually they don’t! I always have a great time with him!
His world is so different from my world. Yet when we are together… we are family. Blood is thicker than all the differences. Our love for each other has seen us through many rough moments.
A few years ago, (I did blog this already) when my dad was knocking on death’s door… my cousin flew in from Texas with his life partner and was there… saying “I knew this would be rough, so we came.”
Is that love or what? It is one of the most beautiful things someone has done for me.
This is a man that lives in a 200 square foot house (no that isn’t a typo) that they built… with no bathroom yet. (They walk across the lawn to the dad’s house).
Ujjal lives a simple life. He has learn from so many hard life moments that the most important thing in life is not the size of ones house, or the initials after your name or what is in your saving account… it is who you love. If you have someone to share your life with… you are rich.
Today is his birthday. For 30 days he is older than me! Yes that does count! I called him to wish him a Happy Birthday! He isn’t his usual self. What is wrong…. my heart starts to pound.
Both our parents … his mother and my father (siblings) are in poor health… a crisis is always waiting to happen.
He then tells me that Johnny, his partner, is in the hospital. Heart failure. His liver is shot… his kidneys are failing… he is dying. My cousin is waiting to see if he will turn a corner.
He told me he went home last night and sat in his truck for 2 hours. He couldn’t bear the thought of going into an empty house.
I want to get into the plane and be there, right now. He says wait. If I didn’t have my family to think of, I would be there tomorrow.
So I wait. I will send Johnny flowers tomorrow so he remembers that I love him. He is family. How can I love this man I barely know? Because he has shown my cousin love and happiness. He lifted his hands and cleaned out my Dad’s apartment while we planned his funeral. He stood up for me when I needed help. He is part of our family.
I will pray for Johnny that if God sees fit, could he grant Johnny more years with my cousin?
I will pray for my sweet dear cousin. I pray for strength and peace.
I feel so sad. I feel so far away. I wish I could be that support for him that he was for me.
So all I can do is pray. I pray for a miracle for him… for both of them. I pray that God will make Himself so real to my cousin who has been so hurt by church and all that he grew up with.
I love you, my sweet cousin! I know it isn’t a happy birthday Ujjal. But I am so glad you are here… you make this world better just by being you.
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