Grad…

Posted on 2010-06-22 by Reema

Last night my once little man became my big man.  It was so wonderful to see Tyler, confident, happy and having a great time.  It is so amazing to me that my son is this great kid.  He was so shy, insecure and stressed all the time.  I, of course give his parents and God credit.  Yet, I have to give credit to this amazing place where my boys spend so much of their day, 9 months a year.  I give credit to the caring teachers that are so accepting.  I give credit to the families who have  similar wants for their children they give up so much to send them to this special place.one


Last night, as we were driving home, I said to Tyler, “Do you remember how you were in grade one? Could you see it as you watched the video of you doing you animal project?”


Tyler didn’t miss a beat and replied, “I was so intense! Wow!“


Have I said I love this kid?


He loves his family so much.  There is nothing more valuable then to be with the aunts and uncles he cherishes.  He has been emailing his godfather, his Uncle Pagie to come.  This is a uncle that the boys adore and it is definitely reciprocated yet he is the kind of uncle that flitters in and out of the boys lives.  They may see him 2-4 times a year depending on life as is Uncle Pagie.


The boys have learned to just love him and accept him when he is around.  His uncle promised to come to grad.  I was stressed.  Pagie has the best of intentions…  I just didn’t want Tyler to be disappointed on this night of all nights.


The program started.  I actually forgot about the appearance of Pagie.  15 minutes into the program I feel a tap on my shoulder.  Sanj nods behind him.  There is Uncle Pagie.  This is a picture of Tyler’s reaction as I mouth to him that his Uncle is here… it is a picture of love.  Having his Uncle Pagie there was priceless for Tyler.  For me, I will go buy a lotto ticket! lol


Despite the mosquitoes that were out in full force, we had a great night.  It was so special to see many of the families, former classmates of Tyler’s who have left come back for grad.  Someone said, “It is like coming home.”
Posted in General | Comments Off on Grad…

Happy First Day of Summer!

Posted on 2010-06-21 by Reema

I am so looking forward to a week from today!  Next Monday is the first day of no school.  No yelling and nagging to get up, hurry up and all that jazz.  I am fully prepared to have all the bodies in bed with me once Sanj is off to the gym.  I am sure that they will no doubt be up earlier than a school day.  It is all good… as next Monday, there will be nothing planned!  WAHOOO!


There is something so exciting and yet sad about the last day of school.  The school part will not be missed.  Yet then my social life becomes one that has to be planned.  No meeting in the pick up circle for the 15 minutes of adult interaction in my day.  Yet, I love that feeling of excitement that is in the air.


Today is the official first day of summer!  ðŸ™‚  It is so beautiful outside!  It is going to be a hot one.  Our pool… the Canadian TIre special… easy set up pool is going to be put up.  It isn’t anywhere near having a real pool but it certainly will be better than nothing.  The boys are so excited.  Anything to cool down and a great way to burn off all that energy I am envious of!


I love spending time with my boys.  I love watching them interact.  I can do without the constant fighting that occurs between any two of them.  Yet I know that it is this time spend together that is facilitating their relationships for the future.  I know that despite the love/hate thing that is happening that as brothers they are learning to stick together.  Water is a great thing that crosses the age barrier.


Sammy will be having a birthday at the end of this week.  He will be turning 15 years old!  Wow.  It seems unbelievable.  By the end of this year, I will have 3 teenagers!  How did that happen?


In between all the fun and play, I have projects that must be accomplished too.  The basement must be de-cluttered and organized.  I promised my dear OCD hubby it will be done!  I have so much stuff to rid ourselves of.  Where does this stuff come from?


Ah… it is Monday… I have a list I need to get through and cross things off:
Exchange the shirt we bought for my father-in-law.
Get some shorts of Zach.
Pay off Tyler’s trip.
Finish things from the Golf Tournament.
Supper.
Charge camera and video.. don’t forget the battery!
I have a whack of laundry to put away but that will have to wait.
Haircuts for the boys.
Finish Tyler’s packing for his trip tomorrow.
Of course there is the usual tidy up.




So, I best make my exit.  Happy First Day of Summer!





Posted in General | Comments Off on Happy First Day of Summer!

The Graduate

Posted on 2010-06-21 by Reema
Tyler is graduating from Grade 8.  What?  How did that happen?  Who is this young man that is confident, friendly and outgoing?
My Tyler that I left crying 10 years ago in JK was a mama’s boy.  He had major separation issues.  Life was so hard.  Everything from clothing to sharing his beloved triceratops was so complicated.  He was so intense and serious.  Did I mention life was so hard?
I remember he wanted to do a sleepover so badly.  Sammy could do it at this age (whatever age that was). Yet leaving home overnight was so hard.  My poor sweet boy.  He really wanted to.  Yet, just could not.  He was not ready.
He was a child that fixated on things.  Different teachers would likely remember him for his different phases.  There was the tools and elephant stage in JK.  There was the triceratops, then the crocodiles and the Croc Hunter, Steve Irwin.  Then came hockey… and golf.  Now, apparently, it is girls!
I love this son of mine so much.  I love his passion for his friends and family.  I love his need for fairness and all things right.
He is a great friend.  He is a good brother.  He is a wonderful son.
My sweet Tyler,
As you leave the safety of grade school behind, I know you will shine in high school.
You are such a good boy.  I know you will continue to be a great young man.
Always remember to do your best, treat others as you would like to be treated and remember that you are loved by your family and God.
You will be so great in high school.  Enjoy, study, have fun and be good!
I love you my wonderful Tyler!
Happy Graduation!
Posted in General | Comments Off on The Graduate

HE IS REAL!!!

Posted on 2010-06-19 by Reema

Do you ever have doubt of God’s realness?  Right now it is pouring!  There is thunder and lighting and probably even some hail.  This was the forecast for this morning.  There were the dark clouds present, threatening and taunting.  Oh Dear!

See, this morning was the Rhema Golf Tournament.  We are in need of the money this tournament would bring in.  Times are hard for private school.  It is the way it is.  We have to do what we can to keep funds coming in.

This tournament is one that we have been working on for a bit.  Those that were coordinating it were tired.  They are busy people.  Yet, it had to be done.  Today finally arrives.  It is all set.  It is going to be awesome.

There is the only issue of the rain.  The storm forecasted was stressing the team out.  We had a box of umbrellas to hand out.  

Prayer.  We prayed.  God knows what our school needs.  He is in control.  He will hold the rain off.  For this I was sure.  Prayer… yes, even about weather.

Can I tell you… it spat a few seconds… just that tiny bit that maybe the person talking to me actually did spit on me!  It was a beautiful day!  BEAUTIFUL!!!  It was cloudy, which kept us from being scorched and miserable.  It was sunny as we ended… as if God was smiling down on us.  It was unbelievable!

I am telling you… God is  REAL.  He cares!  Even about the little things… such as weather! 
THANK YOU, GOD!  How much I love You!!!
Posted in General | Comments Off on HE IS REAL!!!

Six Of Them!

Posted on 2010-06-14 by Reema

I never in a million years thought I would have 6 children, much less 6 boys!  Sometimes, when I stop and really think about it, it freaks me out.  When I really stop and think of the responsibility of raising 6 sons, I can feel the panic.


While I was out with some girlfriends this weekend, I was shocked to here them talking about one of my sons being a lady’s man.  What?  Sanj and I were both quite shy and insecure when it came dealing with the opposite sex.  Where did my son get this confidence and absolute delight about girls?  (Our brothers)!!!


I was trying to appear all cool about it, yet in reality I felt panic bubbling up.  They aren’t even in high school.  I will admit, I will the confidence.  I always wished that for them.  I love that they are secure in themselves or appear to be.

Yet, as I think of it, I am so worried about the fact that they understand that girls have feelings too.  I want them to understand that it isn’t a game.  Dating is for older people… as it can hurt feelings.  


Sigh.  Most days I take it one day at a time.  I love checking things off my list.  There is something so wonderful about crossing it off when it is accomplished!  


This week:


Monday:  The already late dragonfly project is due.  It is pet day and so Bella is needed in Zach’s class.  This means she needs a bath, BADLY!  Guitar is today after school.  Later tonight there is a meeting about the Golf Fundraiser that we are doing this weekend. This means a late night since the meeting doesn’t begin till 8:30 pm.  OH… Jordan needs muffins for the bake sale tomorrow.


Tuesday:  My mom has a hearing test booked with a cute audiologist in the morning.  I will likely go  into the office and work the morning.  My mom is teaching an Indian cooking class to Jordan’s class.  I will likely go in and help her.  Sanj has guitar.  The boys have golf.  It is a late night.


Wednesday:  Off on a field trip with Max to Sammy’s high school.  Maybe this could be fun… spying on my teen! lol


The remainder of the week is full of a mismatch of errands.  I am sure I will be there one running around doing all the last minute things such as getting the prize packs etc. together.  Then I have this project of renovating the primary bathrooms at the boys school.  I am trying to think of creative ways to get funds together before flat out asking for it from the usual suspects.


Father’s Day is this weekend too.  Usually I make ribs for the males in the house.  We will see.  Oh, I picked up one of those pools you see in all the backyards that can’t afford a real one… I am so excited for the boys.  It is just a great way to cool off immediately.  


Hey … if you are looking for a great Father’s Day gift… ask me about the Golf Tournament.
By the way, how hard is it to get a hole in one?  We have a prize of free tuition for a year.  I am really needing that!  Maybe I should try.  Maybe I would have beginner’s luck! 



Posted in General | Comments Off on Six Of Them!

Wanted:

Posted on 2010-06-13 by Reema





Have you ever been in a crowd, with a group of friends and been so lonely?

I never understood that until recently.  I really have been trying to listen to my heart and seek answers to my restless spirit.  Last night, I finally understood what my heart was saying.

I have been so lonely, lately.  How can I be lonely when I am forever surrounded by friends and people I enjoy?  Yet there it is … that feeling of loneliness that I feel I am drowning in it.


I know I am loved and blessed with a wonderful group of friends.  I love them and enjoy my time with them too.  It isn’t about them.  It is about me.  I am such an open person.  I am not sure why I am like this but I think, really think… that I am one of those people that what you see of me is what there is.  Usually my emotion is right there… on my face.


I guess what I miss is just really connecting with people.  I want a real connection.  I don’t want to talk about the weather.  I don’t want to know the superficial stuff.  I really want to know you.  It used to be so easy to get to really know someone, especially in university, as we were in each other’s space all the time.  Dorm life made you family.  We had each other to share, cry on and laugh with.


It is not easy anymore.  Everyone has their guard up.  Who wants to get hurt?  Why has time to invest in relationships at this time in life?  I went out with a group of ladies last night.  (We saw “Killer”… which as funny and Ashton Kutcher is not so hard on the eyes).  We had a good time. Everyone that came seem to want the same thing.  Time away, time to hang out and relax.  


Yet… the loneliness is still there.  I miss not having that friend (locally) to call and talk to 3-4 times a day about this or that.  I miss having that kind of friend here.


I don’t like feeling lonely.  It is quite a discovery for me.  I have felt it for a while.  Yet, when it hit me last night, when I was able to actually define it, it left me feel very sad.  I am too social a person to be lonely.


So… I need to find what it is that is missing for me.  The missing link.  


Wanted:  a girlfriend, fun loving, relaxed spirit.  Must be willing to tolerate daily phone calls, love to chat and shop.  Must be real… willing to be open… honest and true.


🙂


Posted in General | Comments Off on Wanted:

Pretty In Pink

Posted on 2010-06-12 by Reema
In my last blog, I briefly mentioned the International Dragon Boat Festivals happening this weekend in Peterborough.    Yet… I couldn’t just give it a paragraph.  It is such an amazing thing.  There are 70 teams from around the world.  These are women, world wide that share two things:  they are strong women and have had to fight breast cancer.

I feel so honoured to be around them.  I love being at the festival and just watching them.  I feel myself soaking up some of that empowerment.  I am fascinated that many of these women are older, mid-aged women.  I love what they represent.  Strength, support, victory, fight, power, faith, hope, sisterhood…

While I am so grateful that this has not been a fight I have had to contend with, I must say that I would feel hope and power to fight this battle just by the inspiration of these women.

My friend, Jhane Braiser, took these photos of the weekend.  I just had to share them.  If you have not had a chance to see the spirit of the fight, of the Dragon Boat weekend, here is a glimpse.
Here’s the thing, I was worried about the weather.  These ladies have weathered the storm.  Rain is not going to stop them!  I love the spirit of the ladies in pink.   Cancer can’t win.  Cancer can’t stop them.  They won’t let it.  We won’t let it.

Paddles Up, Ladies!

Posted in General | Comments Off on Pretty In Pink

It’s All About Me!

Posted on 2010-06-12 by Reema
It’s Saturday and my kids are very grumpy.  Maybe it is the weather (rainy and grey), maybe it is my pms carrying over, maybe they went to bed to late.  All I know is that there was a lot of bickering and grumpiness way to early.

I mentioned that my mom is here… which is great.  Here is the thing, she is a workaholic.  She is exhausting me.  She gets up before 7 am on a weekend and soon I hear cooking happening in the kitchen.  She has not heard of cereal.  My kids know never to come and bother me for something as trivial as food this early on a weekend.  Actually they can help themselves.

When I mention this to my mom, she says, “Well the kids came to me and asked what there is to eat, what can I do?”  (She loves it.  I hear her bragging to her sisters about what the kids asked her to make).

They are in a foul mood.  This makes me very grumpy.  I wish I could fast forward the clock to bedtime for them.  This means it will be time for me to go play.  Tonight I am going to see a movie with friends.  I admit, I am so looking forward to it and the popcorn.  I love movie theatre popcorn.

My mom has caught up with my laundry.  It has taken residence all over the family room, folded.  I so appreciate.  Yet now it forces me to deal with it.  The woman does not stop.  She goes all day.  I hope I have half her energy when I am 70+.

Last night I watched Nicholas Sparks, “Dear John.”  As I was watching the movie, it seemed familiar.  I had read the book a long time ago.  I need a good love story with no heart ache.  It left me wanting to cry and yet not able to.  It made me think of the soldiers that sacrifice so much.  I can’t even image.

I was so restless.  It was midnight.  I still couldn’t sleep.  I knew if I waited long enough, Sanj would phone.  Sure enough, 12:05 am he called.  He missed me.  Now I could fall asleep.

I woke up to the pounding of rain.  All I could think of was what is going to happen to the Dragon Boat folks.  This weekend, Peterborough host the Dragon Boat Festival for over 70 teams from all over the world.  How awesome is that?  These are women from all over that have fought the fight against breast cancer!  Many of these women are mid-age and just seem so empowered.  It has been such a cool thing to see them all over town, in their shirts, knowing that they are survivors.  I have been hoping for great weather for them.  Yet, really, when you think about all they have been through, I know a little rotten weather isn’t going to hold them back!

So… really I can’t complain.  I know that in 8-9 hours I will makes my grumpy ones disappear (bed, that is).  


Now it is T minus 4 hours and a bit till the pain-in- my- butts that I call my children are out of sight and can wake up tomorrow and start all over with the grumpies out of their system.  I just took the youngest 4 to see SHREK.  Wow, I felt like Shrek.  I was trying so hard to even remember my life without children, my life when it was really all about me.  I can’t.


The sad thing was when it was all about me, I wanted it to be about someone else.  I couldn’t wait be a mom.  So…. if I could sign a contract and have just one day where it was all about me… I sure would.  (Of course with the promise that life would be back to crazy again).


What would I do?  Well, first, I would never worry about the non-exsistent belly I thought I had! Ha!  I would be in a bikini!  lol  Yup, I would.  I would love all that hair that I used to have and not complain about it… ever.  I would stay up till all hours simply because I could and would sleep in.  I would talk to my girlfriends all night and soak it in.  I would travel… not worry about all the little things like love and marriage.  I would take the opportunity to love me!!!  Oh, how I wish I had loved me!


Of course after life was all about me for 24 hours, I am sure it would be too much of a bore and so I would need my life as I know it back.





Posted in General | Comments Off on It’s All About Me!

Hit and Miss

Posted on 2010-06-11 by Reema

Here is a story:

I have  “family” who I grew up with.  My “aunt and uncle” are in there 70s now.  Their marriage has been one much like my parents.  There was violence.  She is a battered woman.  In there 70s, he still hits her.  He beat her.  He pulled her hair and wound it around his arm and dragged her.  Then he choked her.  This time she called the police.  They came and put him in jail for 2 days.  Then they let him go.  Now he reminds her that she put him in jail.  She is scared for her life. Yet the money seems to hold her hostage.  The son, lives and breathes daddy’s money.  She will likely die or rather be killed.,, unless she is saved.

I wonder what the police think will happen when they release him?  Yes, we have come a long ways… now the police can step in at signs of abuse.  Yet, we still have a long way to go.  I know that if we are waiting for my “aunt” to leave or walk away, it isn’t going to happen.  I know that she needs her son to take a stand against his daddy, Mr. Bank, and be a man.  She won’t leave.  She can’t leave.  She is too weak.  She is too broken.  Yet she is crying out for help.  She called the police.  That is a huge move. That took a lot of courage.  She went to the pastor.  She told him she want to move into a nursing home.  That is huge.  Who wants to move into a nursing home?  She is screaming for help.  She can’t move without money.

I feel like screaming.  Is there a special hell for men like him?  Can I tell you that I hope so?
He is a bad man.  He is loving.  He is sweet.  He is the devil.  I cringe when I think of all the times we were together, a happy “family.”

My upbringing is pretty much American.  Sure, I prefer Indian cuisine to any other out there.  Sure, I can eat with my hands, with the best of them.  I can even wear the beautiful outfits and pick up a word or two.  That is the extent of my Indian-ness.

I have been reading a lot of stories about India.  I have been trying to understand the craziness of the male species.  I can’t understand the mentality that would kill or give up  a child simply based on the sex of the babe.  I can’t understand that feeling of entitlement that is given to males as to how they can treat the women.  I can’t understand the mind set that allows women to simply accept it.

Of course this is a board statement.  Not all men hit their wives.  Not all women are subservient.  Not all care about the gender of their babes.  Yet, some do.  Many do.  

I feel like something must be done.  I know there are things that are being done.  Yet it is not enough.  I feel so helpless.  Helping one person at a time seems unreasonable…

Yet… there is my “aunt.”  I have to start with her.  I know I can’t force her.  Yet, I must try.  We must try.  Complacency isn’t an option.  Or I am just as bad as my “uncle.”


Posted in General | 2 Comments

Sick and Tired

Posted on 2010-06-11 by Reema

Wow,  I survived the week!  Yah, me!  Last night I was so sick and tired.  I had cramps, fever and a headache.  I had six kids that needed supper and attention and a husband that is away till Sunday sometime.  Thank goodness for mothers.  My mom is here and despite the fact that she had a cold, she insisted on making curry for the boys.  Most of us were in bed by 8 p.m.  Wow… it felt so good to just sleep.  Somewhere around 3 a.m. my fever broke and I was so hot!  There were 4 little bodies in my room and everyone got caught up on their sleep.  Well, everyone, except probably Jordan, who was to catch the bus for his field trip to the Medieval Times (the one I bailed out of).  He was up quite a bit checking the time.


I feel much better today.  I feel like I can handle my day.  Sanj is in Toronto at a conference till Sunday night.  It is nice to have a break.  Don’t get me wrong, because of course we will all miss him but when he is away, I give myself a break.  I don’t worry about a major supper.  I don’t worry if the house is tidy for him to come home to.  I don’t worry about being super wife and mom.  One of the things the boys love is that when Daddy is gone, they clamour into our bed.  It doesn’t matter which end, just as long as they have a piece of me.  I do love this.  There is something so secure about us all being together.   Since Sanj is gone 3 nights, it guarantee’s each of them a chance to sleep with me.  ðŸ™‚

Yesterday I took Sammy to buy his golf clubs, the ones he has been yammering for weeks.  Wow, that sport is fraudulent.  Seriously, do different shafts and grips make that much of a difference?  Who cares if Tiger uses this shaft?  Then there is the golf balls, seriously???  Who ever thought to make up the balls to the ridiculous prices … to hit them and lose them is laughing all the way to the bank! Ha!  Wow.  I told Sammy that this is his last set of club that we will be buying him.  YES!  He is finally into men’s clubs and from here on out, it is all up to him!   He is beyond pleased!  I should get a few days worth of good behaviour from him, at least! lol

$50 million is the lotto this weekend.  OK, I realize that many of you may be against the lotto… but it is one of my guilty pleasures on occasion.  I love to imagine the freedom!  I love to dream of Sanj going to work just for fun.  He couldn’t retire yet… that would drive me bonkers. lol  Yet as a independent business man he does always have worries.  As a dad of six, he does alway have worries.  So, I love to imagine the freedom!

I am supposed to be  worrying about laundry and getting it all put away.

This week I found myself spending time in Chapters (our bookstore).  I love that store.  I love being around books.  I love thinking of authors and how they worked and got to this place of their masterpiece on the shelves.  I feel a bit of pain for those whose books end up on the bargain tables… marked down to  $4.99.  Ouch.  It is my new happy place.

OK… we have a busy weekend ahead… so I must go… back to the land of my reality!
Have a good weekend!


Posted in General | Comments Off on Sick and Tired

Choking Hazard

Posted on 2010-06-07 by Reema

What a crazy week this will be!
Monday… a day with Josh… that in itself is craziness!
Tuesday…. in JK for the  morning… then into the office for the afternoon (Sanj gone to board meeting the evening).
Wednesday… on a field trip with Max to TASS (Sammy’s high school).
Thursday… a field trip with Josh to the zoo (Sanj is gone to a conference till Saturday?)
Friday… a field trip with Jordan to Medieval Times.

Unfortunately for me, I started a book and it looks like it is going to be a good read!  It is called the Forgotten Daughter.  Why, oh why did I start it now?  I love a book that grabs me right from the moment I open it.  I hate having to wait a page or two to be drawn in.

I made supper… 3 different meals.  I don’t know why I bother.  It is on the nights that I make a special effort for supper and my husband comes late.  His meal is cold and sitting on the table.  He just called.
Oh well… good thing he likes to eat anything any way because it is not going to be a good one now.

He is off carbs … he doesn’t eat the bad stuff.  For supper tonight I made him a healthier version of Philly cheese steak.  The cheese was melting on the mess of meat and I waited for him to walk in ohhhing and ahhhhing.  I just hope he doesn’t choke on it now.

I made spaghetti and meat sauce for the boys.  They are meat lovers.  I have been really thinking of going vegetarian.  It is my natural calling, I think.  I am not a meat lover.  I may eat a bit here and there and then Sanj usual eats the left over pieces.  So, today, I made a spaghetti sauce for me with Portobello mushrooms and onions.   It was delicious.  I was so pleased that I took the moment and spoiled myself.  I am hoping to make a plan that will allow me to eat the necessary nutrients and cater to my vegetarian taste buds.

I have decided that I need to make this house a home.  I am not sure what the problem is.  It is likely the “budget” Sanj put me on.  I am not liking it one bit.  I better get busy and work on my book to it can become a best seller and I can be the shopaholic I was meant to be.  I haven’t set foot into a store aside for groceries in a very long time.  Ugh.   Withdrawal…that is what I am feel.  I wonder if the storeowners have felt my dent without my presence.

Just a few more weeks of school.  Oh, I know it is busy having the boys home but it is a different kind of busy.  It is one that doesn’t demand me to be up or getting them up at an annoying time each morning.  I love the summer evenings with the boys.  It is just such a nice part of the day… relaxed and calm.  They can go to bed later as they will sleep in later.  I so appreciate when they come and get Josh and take  him down.  (He still wakes up as soon as he sees light)!

Right now I am hearing the sounds of drumming… I can hear the dishes yapping as to when I will get then done and there is the never ending cry of homework.  So, I best quit my stalling and get to the business at hand… so I can get to my book again!

Posted in General | Comments Off on Choking Hazard

B.S.

Posted on 2010-06-06 by Reema

I love the quote, “It’s not about finding yourself but about creating yourself.”  Author Unknown


I always feel a little bothered to answer the question from friends or family, “So, what do you do with your time?  Or what career did you pursue?”

How do you explain that?  If you do not live in my world here, you would never get it.  There isn’t a title that says it all.  A stay at home mom is what I am.  Yet, I am so much more.  I could say I volunteer at the boys school.  Yet that doesn’t really explain much either.  I could say the I have a list of projects that I tackle that hopefully change the world in small ways… but really what does that really mean to people?


A few weeks ago while we were in DC at a party celebrating the accomplishments of Sanj’s doctorate and the Masters degrees of his cousins, there was so much talk about degrees and achievements.  There were speeches made about striving for the highest education that you can.. that life is about being the best you can be… academically.


I have to admit, that while I was home with the boys as babes, I was never questioned what I did.  Raising the boys, often left them looking at me with respect.  I was doing a task that seemed so daunting to most.  I have found that now the boys are in school, they seem to think that my job is done.  They wonder what do I do?  I was asked so many times if I will further my schooling.


I never had an option as to what I would do after high school.  I always knew I would go to Andrews University.  I wasn’t an option for me.  I never really questioned my folks.  I was the kind of kid that usually did as I was told.  I think that because leaving home was a reprieve for the crazy family life I had, I never questioned the expectation.


University was just another step.  It was a wonderful period of my life and I grew so much.  I was creating myself, even back then even though I thought I was finding myself.  I was never an exceptional student.  I found studying hard to do, especially when life was just beckoning me to play!  School, when it interested me was fun.  I loved projects, things that I had to create.  I loved things that were tangible.  Things such as atoms, neutrons, protons…  abstract thinking such as Philosophy was the death of me.  (The only thing that keep me going in Philosophy was that somehow Sanj was in this class with me… and I didn’t want to fail, in case he asked me anything about the class).


I have a BS in Education.  Yet as much as I am proud of all those in my family that have worked so hard to accomplish all those letters after their names…. and there are a lot of them… I come from some serious high achievers…  I found the speeches a little bothersome.


Not everyone is cut out of the same cloth.  I am sure I could get my Masters.  Yet, having that would not help me accomplish my goals and desires I have.  It will not help be create the me I am meant to be.


I think of my brother-in-law… Raj.  He is not one to have a lot of letters after his name yet he is one that has accomplished a great deal.  Raj is a Toronto Police officer.  He is your typical boy that loves a good game of bad guys and good guys.  When he is telling a tale of his day, he is actually using the term bad guy/good guy and gets all excited telling the story.  He is someone that has made the world a better place.  He has done some amazing things and moved up in the ranks of the good guys.


I know that every parent wants their child to accomplish all they can.  Yet I think as parents we need to accept the children that school isn’t the easiest or best option.  My brother-in-law could very well have a PhD. as he is smart enough, yet it would not have been his calling.  His calling is to play with the bad guys everyday, to make the streets safer, to make a difference in his way.


Does this make sense?  Maybe not.  I am certainly not putting down education.  I hope that my children become the best they are meant to be.  I also want them to know that creating themselves is a journey and there isn’t just one road.


I am still on my journey.  When I came back from DC… I felt frazzled.  How do I let them know that I am not just a stay at home mom?  I felt like I was falling short in their eyes.  Maybe I am.  I don’t know.  I do know that my reality is so different living in a small town then the constant race of the big city life.


I know.  It really shouldn’t matter what others think.  Yet, I have to admit that it does.  There is a lot of pressure… my husband is this super smart guy.  I used to feel so inferior to him… for a very long time.


I am just a different creature.  I have dreams and visions… big ones.  They are just different then everyone else.  I am still creating me.  I am not in a hurry.  I feel like I should be sometimes… but then again… greatness can’t be rushed! lol


This is a blog to applaud all those that have the drive to study through the years of learning and make the grade.  You are awesome.  You are my hero.  This blog is dedicated to all those that took the path that was not about books and classes… yet found the road that is the best you.



Posted in General | 1 Comment

Love Language

Posted on 2010-06-06 by Reema
I had a epiphany this week.  I had a chance to revisit a bit of my past.  I think it was a little gift from God.
I had a conversation with someone from yesteryear that I always wondered how they were.  For a short time, they had a piece of my heart.

I always wondered why that relationship was so hard.  I used to believe that if you loved someone enough, you could make it all good.  I think I also thought if I loved enough for the both of us, it would be OK.

Funny thing is, I never understood why I always felt like I was getting the short end of the stick.  In reality, it was because I was.  I just didn’t want to see it.

My conversation with this person left me feeling the same way when it was over.  I realized after thinking about it that we are such different creatures.  I love hard.  I am not afraid to love.  I love to chat and am never scared to share most of my thoughts.  I have a love language that anyone who is with me for a short period can see it.  Of course my love language leaves me open to hurt more than I care for.

As I contemplated the conversation, I realized that despite knowing this person over a period of time, I still don’t know what his love language is or was.  Is it possible for someone to not have a love language? I don’t know what it is.  I realized that with some, you just aren’t compatible.

I was grateful to be able to say I can close that door… and realize that I will never have my questions answered.  Maybe that is the answer… that there are no answers.  Maybe it really wasn’t about me.  (Shock!  I thought it is always about me)!

Sigh.  Life is so funny and yet despite that, God is so good!
Posted in General | Comments Off on Love Language

Missing: My 15 Year Old and the Lawnmower!

Posted on 2010-06-04 by Reema
Lord Have Mercy!  I had a trying day with my 5 year old.  He was really testing me.  I am pretty sure I won but wow, I am too old to have a 5 year old! 

Sammy was home today so I phoned him and asked him to mow the lawn.  I got home and the front yard was mowed.  I was so pleased that he was listening to me.  I went looking for him.  I didn’t see him.  I didn’t see the lawn mower either.

I wasn’t worried.  Max went hunting for him in all the usual places as I brought the groceries in.  Still no Sammy or lawnmower.  Then Max went to look for him in all the unusual places.  No Sammy.  I was just about to panic.  Well actually I was rehearsing my call to Sanj to tell him that Sammy and our mower was kidnapped or stolen.

Max thought he heard a mower in the wood/ forest.  He went to look.  He took a little too long.  I begin to worry.  I started to head into the woods, when the chicken in me decided to grab the phone, not sure what I would find.

Then  I see Sammy and Max running out of the woods.  

I was so relieved I wanted to smack him.  Where is the lawnmower?  

Since I could see that he was a little hyper, I knew that the mower was in a place I didn’t want it to be.

It was in the back woods, stuck.

Did I mention he was home today?
Here is how he spent part of the day… picture taking.
Did I mention I love this kid?

Posted in General | Comments Off on Missing: My 15 Year Old and the Lawnmower!

Beware!

Posted on 2010-06-03 by Reema

Today was a day that Tyler and his  grade 8 class spent the day at Sammy’s high school.  Then he was off to a fellow classmate’s birthday party.  Then he was back at the high school to play with his school band.


I have not seen him all day.  He just came in with Sanj … grinning from ear to ear.  


“I got 2 girls phone numbers!”  Tyler gushes.  “I can’t wait for high school.”


LORD HAVE MERCY!  This child of mine is the one that is, well, was on the quieter side.  I never would have every thought that by this age he would have already had a girlfriend.


My little Tyler is not so little anymore.


I am a little apprehensive about his eagerness for high school now.


Maybe another talk is in order….


When I had the birds and bees talk with him a bit ago, his response was, “Do you and Daddy do this?  I don’t want to know anymore!” 


lol


Well maybe it’s time for the More!

Look out, Girls, Here Comes Tyler!

Posted in General | Comments Off on Beware!

Boys to Men…

Posted on 2010-06-03 by Reema

I remember my babes as little ones.  It was so easy.  I love babies and I find them so easy and loved them.


Now days, I am hearing, with regularity, “Daddy, can I borrow you shirt?” (Followed by Sanj sighing)! lol

I keep looking at Sammy, who will be 15 years old in just a few weeks.  He is a young man!!!  Shoulders have broaden, his jaw line seems more masculine, there seems to be hair everywhere and he sounds like a big person.  Where did my little man go?


In 5 years, as I anticipate Josh not pooping or peeing in his pants at the age of 10, I am faced with the reality that Sammy, my little firstborn, will be 20 years old!!!


I have been feeling time whizzing by me.  I miss buying him the cutest little outfits.  Now, I have to pay big boy prices for outfits I am not even allowed to pick!  He keeps picking stuff that I want to say, “Ew!” because I remember wearing that stuff in the 80s. lol


Sammy, my teenager, who has really given us a run for our money already, has been much better lately.  Maybe all the crazy hormones are realizing that we really are on the same page. May this is another calm before the next storm.  Whatever the case, I love this kid of mine.  I love that he is more able to say sorry now after he goes crazy.  I love that, as annoying as it is to my not a night person hubby, that my 14 year old still leaps into our bed and takes up all the blankets and asks if he can sleep with us?

I love that I walk into the office and see this beautiful picture of my oldest and youngest, all cuddled up watching a movie (even though it is a movie I am sure Sammy, at 5, would never have watched!).


I am watching this little man, who taught me to love with all my being, is growing into a great man that I am so proud to call my oldest.  I love that he doesn’t take life too seriously.  I love that he has a kind heart.  I love that he is full of play and just loves people.  I love his ability to spend money endlessly (guess where he got that from???)  I love that he is so much of me in him.  I wish that being like me was a little easier for him.  I wish that being out of the box wasn’t so hard when you are 15 and trying to work in a world that seems to only think boxes are the way.



Yet, I can’t wait to see the amazingness that I get glimpses of … that he is going to burst and just shine when he figures how to be a circle in a world of squares.  I know that God has great things for him.  


He is on the cusp of manhood.  I hope that life is kind to him.  I hope that he doesn’t have his heart broken too many times or to hard.  I hope that life is awesome for him.  I hope that he is gentle on himself as he grows and has to figure it all out.


I love his kid of mine.  I am still trying to figure out how I am a mom to an almost 15 year old… when I remember when I was 15!


I love you, Sammy!

Posted in General | 1 Comment

Check It Out!

Posted on 2010-06-02 by Reema

There is finally soon to be one author in the family.  My brother, Kumar, is about to have his book come out, hot off the press!  It is an exciting time and I am presently living vicariously through  him!


Check it all out at his snazzy new website:  www.rajkumardixit.com


This book will be a great gift for all the ministers at your church!

Posted in General | Comments Off on Check It Out!

Divorced!

Posted on 2010-06-02 by Reema

Do you ever think of divorcing your love?  I have to admit, I do.  Only when I am really mad.  Then, lucky me, I fall in love all over again!

The other day, I said to Sanj something along the lines of moving.  OK… that is all he heard.  (Understand, I wasn’t saying I wanted to move in the near future or am I ever looking…)  He looked at me and said in his annoying, “I mean business” voice, “If you want to move again, I swear I will divorce you!”

That got my attention!  Divorce moi?  I am such a catch!!!  lol

Oh dear, I think this time I might have pushed him over the edge.  See, I have moved so many times that I have a hard time thinking of a house as in forever terms.  Sanj can count the number of times he moved.
I love our house.  I really do.  I was just making conversation…  He didn’t buy that.

Since I don’t want him to divorce me, I have been looking at this house in a different light.  I have been looking at things I need/want to make it a house forever kinda house.

Divorce.  Such an ugly word.  Yet there are things that are issues.  What if we are just not compatible?
Here is an example:  I love the windows open, especially right now when it is windy, a storm is brewing and the air is cool and fresh.  Sanj walks into a room and shuts the window.  He is cold.  He hates the wind blowing in.

Hum… My feeling is, “Get Over It!”  He can layer up and keep warm… me, I can only strip so much! lol Hum… maybe there is an ultimate motive! lol

Divorce.  Such an ugly word.  Of course, if he wanted to get my attention, he has it.  Home Sweet Home.
Should I call Dr. Phil?

Posted in General | Comments Off on Divorced!

Calm, Cool and Collective

Posted on 2010-06-02 by Reema

Today I met a very calm person.  I was fascinated by her.  The 3 younger boys had their eye check ups today.  The doctor was this lady that was so calm.  She wasn’t slow or out of it in a duh kind of way.  I was so intrigued with her.

How does one become so calm?  I am a very hyper person by nature.  It is a part of me.  My mind is always racing with thoughts and ideas.  Always.  Maybe this is why I like to read.  Reading and becoming engrossed in a story always me to STOP my mind.  Yet then my mind roams after I close my book.

Sigh.  A week or so ago, I went to the spa with a friend of mine.  It was a whole day package.  I was SO EXCITED!  I have never done anything like this before.

After getting there, we were to change into a robe that was provided.  It was white!  I loved wearing white… it is something that is a luxury in my life. White never stays white.  I buy inexpensive shirts, knowing full well it won’t be a shirt I will wear out too long.  The robe was so soft and I felt so special.

Then came the first treatment:  A facial and a scalp treatment.  I didn’t realize that the two were being down together.  I lay there, in anticipation…  oooh… the lady’s hand was so soft.  I had all sorts of goop put on my face.  It was a long time.  I tried to relax but after an hour (what seemed like 2 hours) I started to wonder if I was ever going to be outta there.  Crazy, eh?  I felt sort of claustrophobic.

Later, after I was done, I realized it took so long because the two were together.  Then there was lunch.  Then… there was my most anticipated 60 minutes of massage.  This was good.  I actually feel asleep for a bit.  I love a massage!!!

Then came the hour for a pedicure and an hour for the manicure.  I am not complaining.  I loved it all.  Yet I realized that due to the nature of my being… ADHD folks are geared for the half a day spa.  It is a day at the spa with all the same treatments, just a little shorter.

As I watched this super calm person today, I wondered what it would be like to have calm in my life.  I wondered what it would be like to have a mind that functions at a normal speed.  Is there such a thing? A normal minded speed?

It really was fascinating to watch.  Sigh.

Posted in General | 1 Comment

Dr. Sanjeev V. Sukumaran

Posted on 2010-06-01 by Reema

I forgot to blog this… but here is a picture of my dearly loved officially Dr. Sanjeev V. Sukumaran, AuD.,
which is a doctorate in Audiology.

Congratulations My Dear One!
I am a little nervous at his restlessness that seems to be present now!!!
Posted in General | Comments Off on Dr. Sanjeev V. Sukumaran