Sarah’s Key… A Must Read…





OK… I have left my grumpiness on the last blog.  It is POURING outside and I love it!  Nothing like a downpour to wash away my day.  I hate when I finish a good book…  you know, the one that pulls you right into the pages.


I had bought this book  awhile ago.  I must have tried to read it when I was distracted and did not give it a fair start.  It sat there till a friend of mine mentioned liking it (Thanks, Rena)!


I loved it.  It sucked me into the pages.  If you are looking for a good read… learning a little of history along the way … this is a book for you.  LOVED IT!

Sarah’s Key, written by Tatiana De Rosnayis about  the “1942 Paris roundups and deportations, in which thousands of Jewish families were arrested, held at the Vélodrome d’Hiver outside the city, then transported to Auschwitz. Forty-five-year-old Julia Jarmond, American by birth, moved to Paris when she was 20 and is married to the arrogant, unfaithful Bertrand Tézac, with whom she has an 11-year-old daughter. Julia writes for an American magazine and her editor assigns her to cover the 60th anniversary of the Vél’ d’Hiv’ roundups. Julia soon learns that the apartment she and Bertrand plan to move into was acquired by Bertrand’s family when its Jewish occupants were dispossessed and deported 60 years before. She resolves to find out what happened to the former occupants: Wladyslaw and Rywka Starzynski, parents of 10-year-old Sarah and four-year-old Michel. The more Julia discovers—especially about Sarah, the only member of the Starzynski family to survive—the more she uncovers about Bertrand’s family, about France and, finally, herself. (Taken from Publisher’s Weekly)

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Running Away…

Today has not been a good afternoon.  I am really wishing I was a little crazier than I am and would have wait till Sanj got home, taken the car (cheaper on gas), taken his business card (it has more it that account then my mine and drain it) and go for milk.


Um… where would I go for milk?  No where I would be found.  I have this fantasy to go to Nantucket, is that in Maine?  Or to Cape Cod… I have a little white house on the beach.  I would overcome my fear of a tidal wave washing me away. 

I would wear shorts and tee-shirts and flip-flops all the time. OK, I do this already, it would seem.  I would have a great porch with lemonade and yummy things to munch on.  I would have no worries.

I would never hear “MOMMY!!!  He ….”  I wouldn’t hear, “Mommy, can you get me this…” and have to deal with major crappy attitude when I do not give in to his entitlement.  I would not hear complaining all the time.  I would not have to deal with the  moods of teenagers.

All I would worry about was MY NEEDS AND WANTS.  Hum… there is a thought!  What do I want or need?  Obviously not much… I just need to satisfy every single person’s need and then get to go to bed and do it all again.

What the hell was I thinking of when I was busy having 6 kids?  Who did I think I was???  Wow!  I really must have thought a lot of my abilities.  Super me.  

As annoying as my younger ones can be, they are my joy.  My older three have really got a case of poopy attitude syndrome.  I wish I could swear.  I wish I could use bad words.

Yesterday I dealt with crap literally and figuratively.  One of the boys had a major case of the poopies.  While going to a friend’s house to pick up his brother, he couldn’t hold it and stood on the steps and released his bowels… when they didn’t answer the door.

Do you know how much I wanted to swear?  Where is Sanj when this @#!%  happens?  Oh right, working.  I need a job!  I went out, tried to be matter a fact as I dealt with Professor Poopie Pants and his mortification.  I got the hose… and began… DISGUSTING.  Where in the mother’s manual is this written?  I can just tell you that it was so not a incident I EVER want to deal with again.  Of course it happens… I know.  It has happened to me yet I can clean up myself.

Ugh.  Poor child.  Then he had to little to his brothers try really hard to not tease.


Today, Josh is upstairs busy trying to hide his poopie mess.  He gets a cold shower when this happens… so now he has taken to hiding the evidence.  Ugh.  I have to rework that.  Again, I was dealing with more &^%$.


I guess the bottom line is I am tired of the never-ending attitude.  I am tired of “Oh, of course you think that because….”   Yes, because YOU ARE NEVER WRONG.  Yes, because I can’t see past your little ego!  IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU!!!


Sigh.  So.. there… it is on paper.  I suck as a mother.


I was born to be a princess.  Maybe being raised by a nanny wouldn’t be so bad.  I would get them for a few hopefully happy moments a day.  🙂  I like that thought.  I would send my day all about me!  Hum… there is an idea.  ME!  I have lost me.


Sanj asked if I took my happy pill.  Ha!  He has no idea.  It doesn’t work for six kids that are fighting and whining and not appreciating the fact that I have other things I would rather be doing than going to the creek or beach or basketball camp or dropping them off at a friends or having friends over or… taking them for an ice cream just because…


Back to my escape… Nantucket! …   



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I Have Nothing..

I have nothing!  Yet, I have to write, so that I can move on with my day.  So, you are warned… this is a blog about nothing!

We ended the weekend with fishing and a picnic.  I love picnics.  I realized that I love picnics more when I don’t have to worry about the food.  🙂  I found the cutest little buns and burgers and we had BLTs, a pasta salad, fruit and munchies.  I kept going over the list of things to take and ended up forgetting the lemonade!!!  So we were sharing the 4 bottles of water I put in at the last minute!

No luck catching any fish, just a little crayfish bit on to Zach’s hook.  It was fun though.  Sammy had a donut (and really only the good Lord knows what else) and was extremely hyper.  He finds fishing boring as it is too slow a sport.  lol

I kept the mosquitoes occupied and enjoyed snapping pictures of the gang.
Sanj ended up going out again, after we got home for some “real” fishing at a different pond but came back empty handed.

The boys have basketball camp this week at our church.  It is a great thing they do… and it is free if you are interested… from 8:30 am-12pm.
I have to admit that getting the boys up was a bit of a challenge. 
Again, I am not happy at the rapidly approaching Back to School!

Friday, the boys are I leave for a week in the States.  We will be off to DC to visit my brother and family and cousins.  Then Wed-Sun we will be heading to a camp in Penn.
I am hoping to hit a outlet mall on the way back home and get a start on some of the back to school shopping.

It is hot in DC over the summer!  Very HOT!  So I am hoping to get the a/c in my van up and running before I go.  I know I have said it many a time… my van is a piece of %$#@!!!

OK… since I really don’t have much to say I am going to end by adding some of my favourite pictures from yesterday.
Have a great week!
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Downtown…

I had the greatest day with my family yesterday.  In downtown Toronto, there was an Indian festival.  Despite the rainy day, we packed the kiddies in and were off.  Of course there was the usual bickering but for the most part the boys were great.  The food was yummy… Dosi… one of my most favourite Indian dishes was being made there.



 Dosas are like super thin sourdough crepes.  Often they will be filled with potatoes curried.  I love the just plain!  They are ginormous when bought at a restaurant, though I could easily eat 3-4 for of them as they are so thin and light.  



It is usually served with a spicy chutney such as coconut or tomato and a lentil.  Absolutely delicious!  My mom usually makes this while she is visiting.  I love seeing my boys loving foods from all cultures.

This was worth the trip downtown in the rain itself. :)There were Indian rappers performing and unfortunately as it began to rain harder.  We headed into the building that had various exhibits and beautiful outfits.  Oh, if I had a little girl…  A few of the boys got  mehndi, which is an application of henna ( a flowering plant) to make temporary tattoos, often done during weddings and festivals.  The boys had a train, elephant and turtle done. 


What was as fun was the ride home.  The boys must have been filled with the sillies.  They were laughing, singing and dancing to the radio.  The conversations were hilarious.  At one point, one of them was complaining about something trivial and I said, “Get over it, life isn’t fair.  I got 6 crazy BOYS!”  


Tyler then chirps in, “Well you shouldn’t have done that “thing” you have to do 6 times or how many ever times more you did it.


Sanj goes into shock as he looks at me in the mirror.  I said, “Don’t worry, Tyler, we do it every night so stay out!!!”  lol  This is followed by shrieking  from the older ones and laughing from the younger ones, even though they had no idea what they were laughing about.


The older boys are intrigued with shaving.  Sammy has shaved a few times and one day comes to me and says, “Feel this…”  I felt nothing.  


Come closer,” he says, “feel my stubble!”  Too cute!   


So, Tyler decided to shave  not to long ago.  He had some peach fuzz on the sides of his cheeks. He said that he wanted to grow a moustache for high school.  Yah, right.


So as we were talking about his last night, Max, who is a very hairy child, says, “I am trying to figure out who I get my moustache from, Mommy or Daddy!!!”  I was not happy.    lol


All in a day!  I love my boys and husband.  I am so thankful for the gift of laughter.  I am so thankful for our family, the good, the bad and the ugly!







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Running Off…

It’s the weekend!  I love Friday nights.  The boys were all in bed, Sanj and I were laying in bed, each with a book till it was lights out.   Then we began to chat…  I love this time.  I put the lights back on to show him something on Facebook… and he gets beeped… meaning someone has engaged him in a chat.  He looks at me… lol… he isn’t used to this nor is it his favourite thing to do… he much rather be chatting on the phone.  He was catching up with his childhood friend’s sister… (he loved it, Janice).  I ended turning off the lights and trying to go to sleep, since it was way past midnight.

Sometimes I feel like we are getting old… laying there, reading. Yet I love the familiarness that I have with Sanj.  He is still, reading, I am fidgeting, my legs snuggling under his, needing to make some contact with him and yet driving him crazy with the movement.


Last night I was thinking of things I want to do.  A while ago, I made a bucket list.  Some of the things are still on there… yet lately I have been wanting to do things that could really be accomplished, if I set my mind to it.


Like what?  Well, one of my biggest desires has alway been to have a great body.  It means that I need self-control with what goes into my mouth.  Actually at the age I am today, it isn’t even that but rather exercising.  I NEED TO EXERCISE … I need it to be my drug of choice.  Sigh.  I feel so good when I do it.  I wish there was that magic button to just get me on the machine.  


When I say a great body… I really want to lose 20 pounds, have nice arms, a back that I can wear a dress that has a cut all the way down my back and oh, a nice arse would be awesome too.  Actually, I would be happy with my 20 something body again, the one I was so conscious about.


So, along with this wish would be to become a runner.  I think runners are hot.  They look so sexy.  I love the sweat, the stride the rhythm.  HUM.. They seem to be so disciplined.  When I am upset, I could say I am going for a run rather than wanting a Baskins & Robbins mint-chocolate chip ice sundae with hot fudge, whipping cream and nuts… minus the yucky cherry.
So, yah, on the bucket list is becoming a runner.


As I share this desire with my beloved (Sanj, in case you are wondering), he just looks at me.  
Reema, can you even run?”
I reply, “Everyone can run, I’ll start off by walking for a half an hour… and take it from there.”  I smile.
He looks at me, The Sanj Look.
I say, “Are you mocking me?”
He says, “I am not even going to bother with the mocking because that would mean there is actually belief in you being a runner.”  (OK… those weren’t his exact words, he used bigger words with lots of syllables… so I am paraphrasing).


Poor guy, see what he has to put up with? lol  
Anyways, maybe someday I’ll be able to run a 5K.  I realize that isn’t much but hey… it is a start.  Oh, and think of the cute outfits I could wear.  🙂


Anyway, this is one of my add-ons to my Bucket List.



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Juggling…

Yesterday my Sammy got a J O B!!!  He will be working at East Side Marios.  He is quite excited about this and I am glad for his excitement.  He will be able to pay for his cell phone bill and buy his clothes that cost way too much!  🙂  


Sammy is in Hockey Camp this week.  This particular camp gives him 30 hours of ice time in the week not to mention the dry land training!  Crazy eh?  This boy is tired out!  There isn’t much that wears him down so it is interesting to see him sound asleep before 9 p.m.

It is a rainy day… I have to admit, I love days like this.  I feel compelled to do things I otherwise would find excuses to ignore.  Usually that would be laundry but since I did a boat load, literally, of it yesterday… I just have a bit left to get the boys to put away.  Bowling…  we are thinking of going this afternoon.  Hopefully everyone else doesn’t have the same idea.

Josh is saving his pennies to buy a tuxedo for himself.  This is what he wants for school  Is he not a weird child?  This morning as he was getting ready, he was complaining… “You never let me wear my suits or long pants.”  Hello, it is because it has been crazy hot here.  Such a funny kid.  Then there is the complaining about learning.  He is a little too addicted to the computer.  When I put on a “learning” game he complains… “Aw, I don’t want to do letters.”  Sigh.  This child will be the death of me!  I am too old for a 5 year old, especially one that has a will that is too strong!

My Tyler is going through the phase of pushing me away.  I remember going through this with Sammy and how much it hurt me.  Seriously, again… at least this time I have a better understanding of it.  Of course I try not to take it personally.  Yet I am not sure my ego can handle this 4 more times.  Why is Mommy’s love such a threat?  Why can’t they feel like they can grow up without all the worries of being  mama’s boy or however you want to label it?


Tyler’s pushing feels very different from Sammy’s.  Sigh.  God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, right?



Meanwhile, I have a balancing act going on with my middle children.  Well, Max…  he is such a great kid.  I think he has a hard place in our family’s birth order.  He is big yet he is still little.  Usually, I refer to the boys as the older 3 and younger 3.  He isn’t fond of that.  Yet, in so many ways, he is one little guy.  Fairness is so important to my Max.  “How come HE gets to do that again?”  Usually he is referring to something the younger ones will be allowed to do.


Josh has a habit of finding his way to lay right beside me.  It doesn’t matter who is there, he will squish in a spot that isn’t a spot.  Usually his brother cave and just move over.  Not Max.  Or for example, if one of the boys is sleeping in our bed, Max keeps track of how many times his brothers have slept there. Usually he will walk off in a huff, totally offended of the injustice he per-sees. I will have to go after him, realizing he is hurt and kiss the unfairness better and act accordingly.



With Zach having his appendix out, he has been given treats by many friends.  The first time it was OK.  Zach was too sick to enjoy it and handed them out to his brothers.  After a bit thought, as the treats kept coming and Zach wasn’t being so generous, Max was not impressed.  We went to the store and I let him/them pick whatever candy and size they wanted.  (Trust me, this does not happen… especially the big bags).  This was justice prevailing.


My Max is still a little boy needing his mama’s attention, just in bigger boys ways. 🙂  I’ll take it!  Yet it is a job remember that he is a little one in a big boy’s body.  I love this kid.


Then there is Jordan, who is, day by day, becoming a copycat of Sanj.  He is more of a loner at home.  He will be off, usually on his guitar, strumming to his own tune.  Often, he will wait till all his brothers are out of the pool and then go in.  He is becoming a true musician… a little off beat. lol


Zach is healing wonderfully.  He is itching to be active again.  It is hard to believe that it was only 7 days ago that he was cut open!


OK… that is the scoop of the home front.  I am back to writing and it feels good.  I am a still suffering a bit of writers block but am not going to let that stop me.









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Rated …

The craziest things I have to write about are usually things that I really shouldn’t.  Yet this is the real me…  so let’s see if I can do so without having to rate this R. lol

Last night as my husband was being “loved” by me, I was chatting.  This is what I do.  I talk, I massage his sore back and talk.  As I was “loving” him, I said, “Can you stop and pick up milk on your way home from the gym in the morning,” then I stopped myself.  lol  I was pretty sure that Sanj wasn’t really listening to me!  Poor guy…  


I had this thought other men would find whipped cream, lace and chocolate sexy.  My hubby, no doubt, has duct tape on his list of items needed while making whoopee! lol  He told me, “Too much talking.”  I am just multi-tasking.  Come on… admit it… you have a lot going on and can do two or three things at a time, right?


This morning Sanj woke up, visibly disturbed.  He had a bad dream.  Usual  his dreams are about the kids getting hurt or me doing something ridiculous.  He looked at me… “You were cheating on me with another woman.”  Oh… I thought that was every husband’s fantasy! lol

Here’s the thing… I am usually the one that has crazy dreams.  Crazy!  He was reading a book and it must have had some scenario that triggered this dream.  So he blames me… “You are always saying the craziest thing about women that it made me dream this.”

The other day I was a Blockbuster and there was this young girl/lady behind me in line.  She had a lower cut shirt and all it said was check out my rack.  It was the kind of thing that you couldn’t help but notice.  Wow… she had a nice pair of bosoms.  Is it weird that I noticed?  I think not!  First, they were right in my face!  Second, I was a little worried that they weren’t being held too securely and might pop out.  Thirdly, I was a little jealous… they weren’t fake, they were firm and lovely.

As I came home and shared this with Sanj, he just looked at me.  Sometimes he really doesn’t know what to say.  Other times he just looks at me, speechless.  What?  She had a great rack!  Isn’t that what they say? lol


The thing is I am pretty sure there is such a thing as a girl crush.  I have hear others talk about this … meaning a female that you find attractive but not in a sexual way.  You KNOW what I am talking about, right?  Help me out here!


One of our favourite restaurants in town has this girl/lady that works there as a server.  (Do they use the term waitress or waiter anymore)?  Anyways, this girl has always fascinated me.  I feel like she is my alter-ego.  She is Indian-ish though she could be West Indian… (technicality… we both have brown skin).  She is taller, has beautiful, black hair… thick  hair… the kind I don’t anymore.  She has a slimish build… the kind I want again and may have if my stomach did not expand 6 times to the size of a watermelon.  She has a funky style.  I love her style.  She has a kind of Bohemian/gypsy style that makes her striking.  She has a lovely face… especially her smile.  


OK… is this weird?  Yet… I like her personality.  I think she is spunky and smart.  We read similiar books.  I think if we met in another setting we could be friends.  My girl crush…  is that weird?  I was disheartened when we went there for our anniversary so discover she had moved on.  Sigh.


These are thoughts in this head of mine.  You have them too, right? lol
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A God-Sighting…

Last week Tuesday, I was bustling around like crazy getting ready to take the boys on a camping trip… by myself.  Yup… I was preparing for this adventure and was so ready!  Tuesday, Zach kept saying he wasn’t feeling well.  When you have six kids, someone is always complaining of this or that and unless I see a temperature or throwing up, I just nodding and assume it will pass.

By evening Zach was throwing up.  I was not impressed.  Yet was still determined we were going.  EvErYtHiNg WaS ReAdY!  I figured it to be a 24 hours bug and what better place to throw up but outside?  

By bed time he had a fever.  I was really feeling panicked.  It is not an easy feat to pack for camping.  I had all the groceries, already spent a few big bucks on all the cool camping nick nacks that I didn’t know if we really needed or not but was so looking forward to  finding out.  Yet…  fever, throwing up… then my 2 a.m. Zach was in my room complaining of stomach pains.  Again, this has happened many a time.  Many a time have we gone to the ER with stomach pains and never once has it been anything major.  I was really tired.  I had him lay with me.

I got no sleep because of the battle going on inside me… do we go camping or not?  Do I take him to the ER?  Well, since I was not sleeping and he was not settling down, off we went to the ER.

Needless to say, after the ultrasound came back showing an ugly appendix, things took a course of their own.  Sanj cancelled his afternoon, the boys were left to fend for themselves.    Zach and I were dealing with all sorts of scary things such as dealing with a yucky IV needle, the pain in his belly, and tears that broke my heart from the fear of all that was going to happen.

Here’s the thing, in the past, the few times the boys had procedures, it has been simply… tubes and adenoids.  When we had to deal with tonsils also, it was all with an ENT we totally trust and know.  Here… at this moment, I was sending my baby  under the knife with a complete stranger.  I mean, did this surgeon know his stuff?  Did he study and get good grades?  Did he have enough sleep?  Too much caffeine?   When he came and talked to me, he did look really tired.  He kept rubbing his eyes and asked me the same question 3 times.  I was really worried about his concentration!  


I was scared.  I pray or chat with God all the time, especially when I am stressed.  It isn’t the kind of glorious prayers that you may hear in church or from a godly person.  It was more a bunch of ramblings, of a mom that was scared out of her wits, ramblings and seeking help for her baby.  It is so great that God is who He is… God, otherwise He would probably need a translators.


Here’s the thing…. and it is so amazing… God knew ahead of time my Zach was going to need the surgery.  So.. as we were up there waiting for Zach to be taken in, I kept scanning all faces that passed hoping for someone I knew.  Someone!  Then, there comes this lady from church.  She is an EMS that goes on the helicopters.  She is a big person in her work.  She was in the OR with Zach.  Immediately I felt peace.  How cool is that?  Then my girlfriend calls, asked who the doctor is and lets me know that he does this all the time and is very thorough… and not to be alarmed if he takes longer.


How cool is that?  I love when God is right there in front of me, taking the lead and forces me to just sit and trust Him.  I wish I would do it all the time!  I am such a weeny when it comes to being in control.


A God Sighting!  How much I love Him!  Zach…he is doing great!  Mom… me… I was given confirmation that I was so NOT made to be a NURSE!!!  Wow!  I am so grateful for all those loving people that have that special gift… of being a nurse… a great nurse!  Thank you!
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MIA

Yes, I have been missing in action.  I love writing.  I love putting my thoughts down and if there are some that enjoy reading my muses, I am flattered.  Since summer has been here, I have been feeling restless.  I am again pondering what I am supposed to be when I grow up!  What I have been doing since the boys have been out is not much of anything except losing myself in books.  I am such a nerd and book worm!  I love books… beach reads are great as I can finish them in a day or so… and of course there are is the great novels that leave me breathless that someone can have such a beautiful gift of storytelling.  I have been reading a lot.  I must have read at least 8-10 books since summer hit.

I am trying to run away from my discombobulation.  WHAT DO I WANT TO BE???  What will give me satisfaction?  What is going to make me the  best me that I can be?  Arghhhhhh!!!

So, I have been of the computer … which for me is not normal.  

This is where I have been.  Yesterday I decided that I would tell Sanj that I am going to take the Hearing Dispensary course, so I could contribute to the clinic.  I have been hemming and hawing about this… and then while I was so sure I could make it as a writer, I had a moment of truth…  I hate ears… other people’s that is…. I actually dislike having to touch random people’s body parts.  Ugh.  Hairy ears, huge ears, dirty ears… ears!  Of course, as soon as Sanj told me that he didn’t think this was my thing I found myself annoyed and needing to prove him wrong. Ha!  I know that I can do anything I sent my mind to doing.

Last night I was having this conversation with my husband.  He is such a sweetheart.  I am, seriously, how many men will lay there listening to their wife ranting (again) about her quest of true happiness?  How many men support the “career choice” of the day? lol  I am pretty sure not too many!  He reply is consistent.  “You don’t need a job… you need to write.”  Then he reminds me of the super expensive laptop I was so sure I needed before I could write my masterpiece.  So… being the loving, never say no to me husband that he is… he got me the laptop.

Sigh.  So I am back to square one.  I am pretty sure… that God is leading me in the direction of writing.  I feel it.  I actually feel like Jonah.  The other day I was reading the Jonah story to Josh and felt a little uncomfortable as I realized that Jonah and I have a lot in common.  Argh!!!!!!!   If I knew exactly what I was supposed to write, I would write.  I really want to take bits of my blog and make it a book.  (Any thoughts?)  Not the blog entries of recent but rather the last couple of years ago… I feel like some of that stuff is pretty good….  I think.

Then I have an outline …. well actually a bit of a book already done.  It was something I wrote years ago… when we were first married.  I wrote about life as I knew it living as an abused child.  It is pretty good, I think.   BUT…. WHAT DO I KNOW???

So… I have had my head buried in the sand.  MIA…  If you have any thoughts… I would love to hear them…      🙂
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The Call

This last week while the older boys were on Serve, they both gave their hearts to God.  It is what I always have desired for my boys.  I often wondered how it would happen.  For me, God was my friend through a rough life.  He was the one I could talk to and I knew He was safe.  My boys have a good life… and I always wondered how or when they would have that amazing experience.


One of them’s journey was a very emotional and public one. Everyone knew and he is not shy to talk about it.  This Sunday at church he is going to speak out his Serve experience.  Then my other one experience was one that was about him and God.  Two very different experiences and so beautiful and amazing.

I remember feeling God spirit and being so moved to be God’s child.  I still have those same feelings yet I am jealous in a silly way as I watch the boys because I miss the innocence of those days.  I miss having that faith that was so simple.  I have faith but I hate the doubt that seems to creep into my thoughts.  I hate thinking that I hear God’s voice and realize that I was really only hearing my own wants.  I hate that I find myself being lax in my friendship with Him at times and miss FEELING that feeling of a new believer.

I am so grateful to the people that were there to be by my boys sides.   I wish I could be the one that they want in this but right now God is using his special servants to minister to the hearts of these young folks.

Faith is such an incredible thing.  It is as comforting as a blankey was when little having your security with you.  I love knowing that I can call out and know that Someone is there with me all the time.

I am so glad that my boys have found their own path that leads to this and pray that they always remember that they have their own security blankey wherever they are.

God is such a powerful force when He calls you can only respond!   Of course there is the option of being swallowed up by a big fish if you ignore His calling! 🙂
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Randomness

I haven’t blogged in a week or so.  My husband keeps nagging me.  Frankly, I have been lazy.  I have been hot.  That is an understatement.  I have been very hot.    I have been relaxing, sort of.  It’s summer.  I have been reading books, just finished the Birth House.  ( A good read).  I have been hanging out occasionally with my friends,  discovered a lovely restaurant in town KOBO (on George St), great ambience and good food.  Of course, if you add the usual loads of laundry, the chore of meals, occasional housekeeping… life is full.

Yet, my husband is concerned at the lack of blogs.  Guess he wants to get the scoop that only comes out by blogging.  🙂

I have been working on getting up the courage to take the kids camping alone.  This Wednesday… I will be off to Silent Lake till Friday.  I am so excited.  It is just when it is so dark out and quiet  (as I come out of the car from being out) that I think… “Wow… it is really dark.  Are there bears?  Bad guys?”  Are there night lights for campers?  Yet… I am determined to do this.  How much fun?

The boys are back from Serve.  Sammy and Tyler went to another community with our church for  a week and did actual work… and came back refreshed, in love with Jesus and full of being with others.  This picture above is of my Tyler sanding a porch in 100 degree weather!

In other thoughts,  I have been baffled with my youngest, Josh.  The boy INSISTS on wearing his suit in this very hot weather.  Long sleeves and long pants are a must for his happiness.  This picture is of him wearing his leather jacket in the midst of the heat wave.  Usually you can see him with his suit, red rubber boats and Sanj’s ski googles.  Should I be worried?  Sigh.  He is the youngest.  Maybe there wasn’t enough “stuff” for the creating of a normal  child in utero.

Tyler has turned 14 years old this weekend.  Wow…  Sammy turned 15 two weeks ago.  True teenagers… Lord have mercy!  This is apparently a very hip golf outfit… much to Sammy’s thrill and Sanj’s distress! 



My three other munchkins have been keeping busy in  the pool… which of course, I wanted to allow them this luxury over the break, yet never considered it another source of a noisemaker!  Wow… the water sure adds a lot of screams and loudness to our already loud home.  After a bit of tough love, Josh finally overcame his fear of water!  Now just try to keep him out!

We went to the Mandarin yesterday for Tyler’s birthday… I am pretty sure the pictures say it all.  One question:  How come these kids will eat crab legs (ugh) and yet the thought of a broccoli or celery is frightful?  These boys of mine definitely have their dad’s taste buds!

A little secret… right now after my husband slaved all afternoon and did the flower beds, played with his new power washer and yet, cleaned his precious vehicle… he is now vegged out on our deck, book and drink in hand, propped up on one of the sofa cushions… yes… you got it, relaxing!  (We need patio furniture badly)!!!  Here is the thing…  he has been extremely relaxed … well as far as Sanj goes… and you want to know why???  Let me tell you:  He had CARBS this weekend!  Yup… it is that simply.  Seriously… he may live a year or two longer than me… thanks to the ridiculous addiction called the gym and a daily diet of no carbs… but let me tell you… I will die knowing I lived a happy life… every weekend! lol  (I love this man!!!)  Speaking of loving this man… I have been loving him on and off again for the last 16 years!  I bought out my wedding dress and Max modelled it… sad thing was Max was too big to button the back!


All in all… life in summer mode has been great.  More to come, I promise, my sweet Sanj!  Just wanting to make you miss my blog!  xoxo

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July 3, 2010

16 years ago Sanj and I were married.  It was such a wonderful day.  The weather was perfect.  Everyone I loved was there to surround us and support us.  

Here we are, 6 boys later, with more love for each other than I thought possible.  Lift has certainly had its ups and downs.  Over the years, each trial only strengthened us to keep at it.  God has been so faithful.  He has made good on His promises… even when it didn’t seem like He was.

Of course there is no picture perfect marriage.  Ours is full of driving each other crazy, being annoyed at the hairs in the sink, leaving the vehicles on empty, toilet seats that are not put down…  oh this list can go on.

I guess the answer is that if you can look at this person beside you and be grateful for all they add to your life despite the daily annoyances… you have a good one.

A year or two ago, I decided that I had enough of Sanj taking me for-granted that I would always love him despite the crazier he becomes as he ages…  so I put him on a lease.  20 years… buddy.  Then, it is time to re-evaluated and sign a new lease! lol   I know I am a catch.  I just want to remind him that he better not get lax.   He needs to date me, wine and dine me.  Keep that love alive!  🙂

Have I mentioned I love this wonderful man that loves me, accepts me (most of the time), spoils me and has to live with the constant frustrations that comes with me.

Happy Anniversary, my dear Sanj.  How much I love you!
Thank You, God, for this wonderful man!
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Energizer Bunny


My son is so hyper active.  Image blowing up a balloon as big as you can and then letting it go… the balloon buzzing around is the way my life is with my son of immense energy!  He is high on life all the time.  You would think this is not a problem.  Is it a problem?  Well I guess you would have to define problem.  Much of the time he makes me laugh as no one can.  He is silly beyond silly.  Part of what comes with hyperactivity is impulsivity.  He will do the craziest thing and then think afterwards.  Then he will come to us, sorry and say, “I didn’t mean to.”

His brothers adore him.  Oh they get hurt or mad many times too but forgive him as he is so fun and loving to hang around.  This is the kind of thing I am talking about… this picture…

Why would Max allow them to do this?  No doubt it was very funny.  Yet… this is the kind of thing my very active child if forever doing.

The other day, I had to replace the car charger for my phone.  It comes in that kind of packaging that only can be opened by a sharp object.  Bell… apparently, did not have a pair of scissors.  (I hate that company)!  After much frustration, I looked at my son, who was doing a job on the plastic spoon he used for lunch and asked him to see if he could open it… 2 minutes, no lie, I had my charger.


His energy is so incredible.  It is so amazing to watch this super-active child of mine taper all that energy when needed.  Well, I should really re-phase that… taper that energy when HE was to.  HE has such focus on the golf course.  He is quite a little player on the green.  The same can be said about his game in hockey.  He sees the game, as many have said.  Well, you must need focus to focus! lol


Sigh.  It is only the first week of summer.  I think he has been unleashing all his energy from school and all that stuff.  He is a balloon zipping this way and that way.  The only thing that saves him is he is having such a good time.  Despite his crazy antics that leave me wanting to pull my hair (what little is left of it) out… I so appreciate his spirit.


I am hyper.  Compared to him, I am calm.  I wonder if I was like that as a child?  I don’t remember being so zippy.  I was definitely able to pull it together when I needed to…  or I am sure I would have gotten a good smack.


So…  my son with the super duper levels of energy…  I love you.  I love your spirit.  Someday your zeal for life will lead you to do amazing things, this I am sure!


As I write this, it is interesting that this blog could be about a few of my sons.  Hum…
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Happy Canada Day!

We have spent the day chilling at home.  Right now, you can find my hubby absolutely frustrated with me about our garbage problem and sitting in the corner of the garage reading his book.  The boys were crazy as usual and braved the cooler weather and played in the pool.  Brrrr….  


My in-laws gave Sanj this chime set for his graduation.  I love it.  Sanj kept warning me that it would drive me crazy.  I love the sound.  I find it calming and reminds me of summer and listening for the ice cream truck.  I loved a vanilla soft cone from the ice cream truck man.  It would be a great job to have… driving a truck that children eagerly waited for and then make them happy with their 25 cent ice cream cone.  Yum!

I made a ridiculously yummy breakfast  and now am making an equally yummy ( I hope) supper. My in-laws are home alone since Raj and family are off to Texas.  I am making chicken legs marinated in yogurt with Indian spices, garlic and some lemon.  On the side is corn on the cob, a potato casserole (you know the unhealthy one with sour cream and cheese etc) and I have some kabobs too.

I find this recipe for these mini peppers.  I didn’t have all the ingredients to make it to I may have to improvise.


Mini Sweet Stuffed Peppers



INGREDIENTS

1 pkg (681 g) PC Sweet Mini Peppers
½ cup (125 mL) PC MEMORIES OF Marrakech Couscous
1 small zucchini, chopped
½ cup (125 mL) PC Organics Grape Tomatoes halved
½ cup (125 mL) crumbled feta cheese
2 green onions, thinly sliced
2 tbsp (25 mL) chopped pitted PC Olives Whole Kalamata
1/3 cup (75 mL) PC Greek Yogurt Dressing With Feta Cheese

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat barbecue to medium heat. Grease a vegetable grill basket. Halve peppers lengthwise through the stems. Discard seeds and ribs. Set peppers aside, leaving stem attached.
2. Place couscous in large bowl. Bring ¾ cup (175 mL) water to a boil. Pour over couscous. Cover and let stand for 5 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. Fluff with a fork. Let stand uncovered for 5 minutes to cool slightly.
3. Stir in zucchini, tomatoes, cheese, green onions, olives and dressing. Spoon into pepper halves, dividing evenly and pressing stuffing gently into peppers. Place half of stuffed peppers in prepared grill basket. Place on barbecue. Close lid. Cook for 5 to 7 minutes or until softened and grill-marked. Transfer to serving platter. Repeat with remaining peppers. Serve sprinkled with chopped fresh chives, if desired.



All the prep work for supper is done.  I am feeling done too!  Time for a book.  My sister-in-law, Reg, gave me the first volume to Twilight.  I have kept it by my bedside, knowing full well not to allow myself the option of reading it before school was over.  Last night we went to the movies to see Grown Up and there were all these girls sitting or standing in a very long line to see the new release.  Wow!  This week is a good week for me to start it.  The older two boys are off on a Serve Trip for a week  ( a missions trip here in Ontario).  So, I am thinking that with the hot weather forecasted for this week that we will be poolside and  I will perhaps have some book time.


Have you read it?  Did you love it?  I feel out of the loop as to if  I am on Team Jacob or Team Edwards?  Usually I would know…  my friends insist I will be hooked!  When I was growing up, this was not  a book I would have been allowed to read!  🙂  My mom caught me reading Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret and told me I was not old enough yet! lol  (Trust me, I really was old enough… and the book was so harmless!!!)  Remember… “we must , we must increase out bust?”  Such a classic from childhood!!!


As I said, my older two are off on a Serve Trip.  This may be a rude awakening for them!  Work…  It is a 4 letter word!!!  Apparently, Sammy says he can work… when he choose too… hum…  This is silly  but this is the first time they will be away from home for so long.  They don’t seem bothered.  I know I shouldn’t be either… they are spreading their wings… I know.  I don’t have to really like it though!


Only 4 kids this week!  Wow!  Life is going to be a vacation this week!  I can drive a regular car if I want!  🙂  I am looking forward to hanging out with them!


My in-laws should be here soon.   I best get myself up and at em.  Happy Canada Day!  Hope yours was a nice one!



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This and That…

One of my most favourite things in the world is to lounge in bed with my boys.  I love it.  It was that kind of morning.  It has been unusually cooler out.  I love a day that does not have me whining about the lack of air condition.  I love a day that I can read my book and just relax.  I am little annoyed that the book I am reading right now is kind of boring.  I am not sure I will waste my time finishing it.

Tomorrow is Canada Day.  A Holiday!  Wahoo!  This usually means that Sanj wants to have a no plan day, take the lawnmower apart, work.  Ugh.  I am usually the one that want to go to Toronto and check out the action.  I love days like this.  We are so incompatible this way.  

We have a funeral to go to this afternoon, the father of Sanj’s secretary died.    I will be praying that the boys don’t beat each other up while I am gone!  

I have bought to planters for the front porch.  I stopped doing that because I simply kill them without trying.  I am making a conscious effort to water them and baby them.  One already looks droopy!  They hate me!

It is so weird to watch my boys with lives of their own.  Hanging out with friends, going to the movies… I love it.  I love knowing that they seem to be kids… regular kids, maybe spoiled a bit but yet life is good.  I love knowing that this blessing is one they don’t understand.  Do you know what I mean?  My teen years were typical… with self doubt and all those issues yet there was so much stress involved.  Everyday was survival.  Everyday I held my breath wondering what today would bring.


My aunt is determined that she should stay.  It is all about the money.  How frustrating.  How scary.  We can’t force her.  We can only offer her options.

I have so many things to talk about yet… some of it doesn’t come out right on “paper.”
Today I was watching this person I know who is “friends” with everyone.  A very likeable person yet what disturbs me so much is she really isn’t.  She allows someone the fantasy of being their bestie and yet when that  person needs their bestie… she talks about them.  She mocks their relationship.  I am so bothered by this.  I want to slap them.  Maybe call them ugly names.  I feel so bad for people that believe they are her friend.  It actually sickens me.  I guess I am bothered because I care about some of those suckers that actually believe in the friendship.


Can I tell you I love my husband?  He is so funny.  He had to sing at a funeral today.   He sounded so beautiful.  We had just finished singing a hymn and he leans over to me and says, “Since we just sang that song, I forgot how my song I am suppose to sing goes!” He is so funny!  He really didn’t know this song and learned it for the funeral… so I was a bit worried for him.  Oh…  and there is the time… at our wedding reception that he sung to me.  He had wrote a song for me… romantic eh?  Well, he lost the words.  It was really sad.  He made up some crazy song about driving to Ottawa to see me.  It really was his worst performance.


Then there is his sweetness that never say no to me…  I was saying how I would really like another baby… Please?  He looks at me so sweetly and says, “Sure, we can definitely try!”   (He is counting on the fact that his little procedure keeps working!  Well, in all seriousness, so am I)!


It is 10:30 pm now… and I really need to go to bed!
Happy Canada Day, all! 
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Preciousness

Today I did the unthinkable… I held a little, wee babe!  She was 8 weeks old.  Oh… I knew there was a good reason I don’t do babes!  I felt the wanting immediately.  Oh, I know… I say the talk… that I am done because I know I need to be done.  I know my sweet husband would likely have a heart attack if we had to do it all over again.  Well, he would love it till the teen angst hit us and then….

Yet, there is nothing sweeter than a babe,  so small, sweet and utterly delicious.  I am feeling the urge that, of course, must be smashed… but… I am made for babies.  I am made to love them senseless.  I actually did something I never do… I gave her my number, “If you need a break…”  she is a single mom.  I am hoping she needs a break!

Sigh.  I am being greedy.  I was blessed with 6 absolutely delicious babes.  I must do my time of dealing with the moody broodiness and the under- appreciated-ness  of the my teens.

Yet… oh… I feel my arms sighing for that blessed moment.

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Sad…

Today is the last day of school.  It is a year that comes with too many goodbyes.  Of course, every year brings changes and families go and come.  This year… I am overwhelmed at the sadness I feel.  I am not sure how to explain it, either.  After hearing that one of my friends has decided not to come back, I found myself sobbing as if my heart was broken.  I was surprised at my emotions, as I am not a crying kind of girl anymore.   Sanj just held me.

Of course I know that this doesn’t change the friendship but changes the effort a bit.  I see a little girl who keeps writing on her Facebook page how much she is going to miss Rhema and I find myself praying for a miracle.  This family needs us as much as we need them.  Each year at the end of summer we see miracles happening.  Families that could not afford to return are gifted by a generous heart.  This is met with tears of joy, seeing God’s hand so at work.

Then there is the staff… The Mama Bear of Rhema is retiring.  Sigh.  I know it is inevitable yet it is such a loss.  How are we going to be without her?  Of course I know it will be different… each new one brings their own uniqueness yet… I don’t like it.  I need to see my friend there when I walk in.  We will her so much.  I will miss her so much.  I received so much wisdom from her over the years.  Now what?


Today was the Friday morning singing which my dear husband takes time off every week to come do.  It is church.  Hearing  those little ones sing, not questioning God at all is so priceless. I saw my husband moved to tears as he was playing.  He was looking out over the bunch of kids and I could see him take in all the little ones that will no longer be with us.  I could see that he was wondering if these songs will be ones that will carry them onward.  We have to believe that they will.  They will know that Jesus loves them.  They will not forget it.  

Oh  … in a perfect world… money would never keep those that don’t have it from being with us. In a perfect world…  


Dear God,
Our school family is changing… in so many sad ways.  Some of these kids are so sad that they can’ t be there again.  Please Lord, You do know who, why and how.  I trust… as it is all I can do.  I look forward to miracles again, this fall.
Amen.
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The List…

Do you know who women naturally have a reputation of being a nag?  Well, you haven’t lived with my sweetie.  He is a constant man in motion.  This is great except for me it equals exhausting.  I don’t want to work all the time.  I understand that chores are never-ending and can and will wait.  I have no qualms of letting laundry pile up so that I can finish my last chapter of my book.


My husband has been nagging me … the basement needs serious tending to.  It is the one room in the house that I never venture into.  Why?  It just seems like such a male zone.  There are videos games, sports stuff, a ridiculous big screed on the wall … you get the picture, don’t you?  Our basement isn’t finished yet, either, so there is no comfortable carpet or painted walls.  It is a mess.


Today I cleaned it…. with a little bit of help.  Out came 5-6 bags of garbage, equal amounts of clothes to give away and lots of books and what not repacked.  It is a space that looks livable again.  The bathroom is clean and presentable, the bedrooms like habitat-able … sigh.


CLEAN THE BASEMENT OUT


Yesterday Sanj came home and in true Sanj fashion, went on a bike ride then jumped on the lawn mower and begin to attack the grass with a vengeance.  When the belt on the mower broke, forcing him to stop, he started on the gardens.  They needed weeding and we had a dump of mulch delivered that needed spreading on the gardens.  I was in and out making supper and chatting with him on the porch, telling him about my day, the butt-smacking that occured and venting about mean people that hurt my friends.  


Sanj has always wanted me to be a garden person.  After feeding the kids, I went out and started pulling obviously weeds.  My husband was so thrilled.  I believe that sadly, this is a turn on! lol


HELP OUT IN THE GARDENS


I must be on a roll.  Now all I have to do is find a cure for our garbage problem.  I may actually take a trip to the dump.  This may send him over the edge though.


GARBAGE ISSUES


Nag, Nag, Nag.


I never hang up my keys were they are suppose to be.  Then to add to the issues, I take Sanj’s key.  Not good.  


“Why do you do that?  Why don’t you hang them up when you are done?”  asks my hubby.


Why?  It’s simple.  Why make life that easy?  lol


My sweet hubby… how much I love you.  Hope the nagging eases off a bit… summer is here. It is time for lemonade, books, porches and kids!


This picture is of my workaholic husband RELAXING! lol   He was so delighted to scrub the seats in his beloved mobile.  Weird, eh?











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Butt Smacking!

I have been sneezing non-stop this afternoon.  Allergies!  I had a very embarrassing moment today.  I was in the boys school waiting for the bell to ring.  I walked into the office, my usual stop to say to my friends.
As I was walking back down the hall, I saw a friend of mine (Rhonda N).  I saw the back of her, delighted to see her at the school since she usually is at work.  I walked by her and smacked her butt.  She abruptly turned around, shocked.

I was shocked too.  It wasn’t my friend, Rhonda!  It wasn’t even a friend.  It was a mom, someone that I don’t know at all and someone that seems appalled that I would touch her in such a manner!

I think I actually turned red … thus this picture!   How embarrassing!

Today, I was invited to a Iranian lady’s home for lunch.  She works for Sanj.  It was all very neat… as she made a meal that consisted of Iranian foods, which were not that different from Indian foods.  It was so interesting to learn more about her culture.  She asked how old Sammy was?  He was finished his exam for the day and wanted to come along.  (This pleased my greatly that my 14 year old wanted to come along).  Sammy turns 15 years old on Sunday.

Apparently, if she is in the presence of a 15 year old or older, she has to wear a long sleeve top.  I found this fascinating.  She is still wearing black, mourning the loss of her father, although after 40 days, she could wear colour again.  She isn’t a practicing Muslim, well a strict one anyways.  I was quite fascinated.   I truly couldn’t image living a life that is so unfair to women.  

While we were at her 3rd floor apartment, we felt an earthquake.  It was harmless so it was very neat.  🙂

Today is my dad’s birthday.  I wish life had been different for him.  I am so grateful to know that God loves him so much and watches over him.  Happy Birthday, Daddy.


My brother-in-law is working the G-20.  He was involved foiling a very bad guy’s plans.  As the boys were listening to the story, I heard Josh walk away saying, “I’m Uncle Raj, your the bad guy.”  I love these moments that remind me of the importance of family.  Way to go, Raj!  You are a big time hero in our books!
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Sigh

What a busy day today has been!  It poured rain, so I was dodging in and out of places, trying to avoid getting too wet.  Tyler left this morning for his class trip to Ottawa.  I am sure he is going to have a great time.

I think I am tired because of all the usual reasons to be tired in June.  Then there are the emotional stresses that are exhausting me.  I am always amazed at adults that act so childish.  I am embarrassed at Christians that act so un-Christlike. I am forever shocked when friends forget to act like friends… or when a friendship seems to come to a halt and you don’t know why.

I feel like my feelings have been given a good beating.   I saw a friend yesterday I haven’t seen or heard from in a while despite my attempts to call and email.  Weird.  I am not sure what I did.  I even asked if I did something?  I didn’t get much of a response.  Ouch.  That was hurtful.

I am struggling with my in-laws lack of emotion towards me.  I am not sure why I am so not likeable/loveable but they don’t seem to think I am as special as I think I am! lol  This has been our history from day 1.  Why do I care?  I don’t know.  I guess because I have bent over backwards to be the kind of daughter-in-law that I know God would want me to be… and yet I get nothing.  It is that whole favouritism thing again.  At least they are consistent… my family get the short end of the deal every time.  

Yesterday, at graduation, the school gives out an award to the volunteer of the year.  As embarrassed as I was to be on the receiving end of it, I was honoured.  I was glad that my mom was present to share in this and was pleased that my in-laws were there too.  Yet, they did not say one word about it.  I was hurt.  I wanted them to be proud of me.  I wanted them to see a side of me that they don’t… the side that loves our school and is a part of our family.  I was hurt. Actually, I was very hurt.  I have received the short end of the stick from these folks from day one.  Yet, from day one, I have only been true to me and done the right, loving thing.  I have spent 15+ years turning the other cheek, forgiving, reaching out and loving as these are the folks that bore Sanj, the man I adore.

SIgh.  I don’t know why I do try.  I sometimes just get so weary of being good.  It must take a lot of energy to be ugly all the time.  This makes me so sad for my children.  They deserve so much.  If given a chance, my in-laws could have their cup overflowing with the deliciousness of my babes.  It makes me so sad that they just don’t see the blessings in front of them.

I am sure this will not be so bothersome in a few days.  It is just that so many wonder what do I do?  I was so pleased for my in-laws to “see” what I do.  It isn’t matter.  Of course, as I do what I do for the love of this wonderful place and my children and it is what God often calls me to do.

I just feel slighted.  This too shall pass.

So… I will end with a funny story:

We took the boys to see Karate Kid on the weekend.  Great movie, by the way!  It is set in China so there are subtitles at times.  Sanj leaned over to Zach to make sure he was able to understand what was being said… my sweet, delightful Zach looks at his dad and asks in awe, “You speak Chinese?”
Kids… what a special gift they are!  Yes…. I am blessed!
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